You're Not my Type (but I'll take a chance anyway) - Reigisa AU
by reiseternallover
Summary: Rei is dragged downtown to a strip club for his birthday, only to be lost in the hands of a pretty blonde stripper who's covered in glitter and almost promises a lap dance. Although Rei is sensible, on-schedule and maybe too perfect for his own good, will he let the rowdy, flirty, but reserved stripper rock his world?
1. First Impressions

Rei felt a hand press down on his knee, and he quickly turned his head, smile dropping and blush increasing as his eyes settled on the small blonde who was just on stage, glitter in his hair and smelling of sex and sweat, over-the-elbow gloves stuffed with bills.

"I couldn't help but notice you on stage," he spoke somewhat sexily over the loud music, reaching over with his left hand and brushing his thumb over Rei's bottom lip. "You like me, huh?"

Rei started stammering, unsure of what to say, whilst his friends were wolf whistling and laughing behind him.

"I know quite a few who take a fancy to me – but you're the first _I've _ever like the look of." he smirked, leaning in closer, their faces inches away from each others. Rei could see his light pink eyes had a crimson hue, and he had golden freckles on his nose. "Especially since it's your birthday... I could make this night extra special..."

Rei swallowed as the blonde ran a finger along his jaw line. "I-I-I... Uh..." he stumbled over his words, blush spreading to his chest as he racked his brain for something to say.

He felt another hand on his shoulder, but this time, it was a familiar one.

"What you got in mind, Blondie?" Rin grinned at him, squeezing Rei's shoulder.

The blonde winked at Rin. "Not much for you, Sharky, but if this one wants something extra there'll be a _lot _more in store."

Rin blushed slightly when he heard the name the blonde had for him, but still smirked at Rei. "I'd take it."

Rei glanced back at the blonde. The corner of his mouth lifted and his eyebrows raised as he ran his finger back to his lips. "These look wonderful..." he murmured, so quiet Rei didn't think he heard him right, the music so loud and blaring, but his eyes told him otherwise. "I wonder what they taste like?"

Rei _certainly _heard that. All he wanted to do was smash his lips against his and make him sorry for even coming over here. But he didn't, and he knew he couldn't anyway. He would get thrown out. Sued. Maybe even thrown into prison for sexual harassment, but you never know with this kind of place, these kind of people, this kind of crowd. He wasn't used to it at all, and how he got his friends to bring him here, he had no idea. This was just meant to be a bar crawl, he never expected to be bought to this strip club, he never expected his straight friends to be OK with the fact that it was a _gay _strip club. The blonde was going to say something else, something sexier than he had done before, but someone called his name.

"_Nagisa_!" a very big guy in a white suit appeared from a doorway behind the bar. "_Get back to work_!"

Nagisa stood up straight, hand on his hip. "Do you want me to keep customers or not?"

"You can't _touch _them, Nagisa, I've told you this!" he yelled.

Rei caught the awful, golden medallion on his chest and the massive Rolex on his left wrist. Whatever these poor guys get paid, he takes most of it. He looked back at who was now known as Nagisa, the dollar bills all stuffed neatly into his underwear and gloves. _That's probably the only thing he can keep_, Rei thought, brows furrowing slightly in concern. He looked down his body. It wasn't too skinny, and it looked like he kept in shape, his chest and stomach quite muscular. The only thing worrying about him was the bruise on his hip and the large scar on his leg, but who knew what they were from? He could have bumped his hip on the table, or had an accident when he was a kid. Rei just felt a little iffy in these kinds of places, _especially_ if the bosses looked like _that_.

"Fine," Nagisa mumbled, frowning slightly, looking less like a sex predator and more like a stroppy teenager. "Looks like I'm not allowed to play today."

"What an asshole." Sosuke muttered, finishing off his beer.

Nagisa shrugged. "Pays the bills." he looked down at Rei. "And some nights I get lucky." he winked at him, allure returning as quickly as it had left.

Rei blushed furiously, directing his eyes elsewhere.

"I'm gonna get my butt kicked," he muttered, grabbing Rei's wrist, pulling a pen out the back of his underwear and jotting down his number in red ink. "There. Don't say I didn't try."

He ran his thumb over Rei's lips again, bit down on his own, and walked away, into the darkness, and out of sight.

"You didn't say a word to him." Rin scolded as they left the club – but he was grinning.

"I didn't need to. He did it all." he sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I don't like the look of that place at all."

"I thought it was OK. Sanitary, good drinks, good entertainment, if you like that kind of thing." Sosuke shrugged, hands in his pockets. "Just his boss. Sleazy looking guy."

"They all are though." Rin said, putting his hands behind his head with a sigh. "Greasy hair and a sweaty upper lip, looking shifty as fuck and giving the poor kids only thirty percent of what they earn. It's pretty fucked up, but that's how the industry goes."

Rei looked down at his hand, the number slightly smudged, but readable. "Would it be weird of me to call him?" Rei asked, looking between Sosuke and Rin.

"You're actually going to call him?" Sosuke asked, and Rei nodded.

"There's no harm, right? I mean, he asked me to." he said, staring at the messy handwriting and smidgen of glitter that seemed to be all over the boy.

Rin shrugged. "I would go for it. Unless he does that to everybody."

Rei shook his head, looking forward again. "I don't think he would risk it. Not with a boss like that."

* * *

Rei returned home at three AM, drunk and slightly down. He hadn't gotten a call off his brother, which kind of pissed him off, and his father was in Dubai, so, apart from his friends cards through the mail, and Rin and Sousuke taking him out, he felt weirdly forgotten, and kind of alone. His dog started barking like a maniac as soon as he entered his apartment, but Rei was too drunk to care. Instead of feeding Destrey or himself, he slid down the door and pulled out his phone, staring hard at the blank screen.

"What do you think, Des?" he slurred, looking over at his dog, who was sat patiently opposite him, tail wagging. "Should I... Should I call him?"

Destrey barked in reply.

"Right," Rei said, as if he understood him, and began stabbing his number into his phone.

"Hello?" a sing song voice answered the phone, one Rei did not recognise.

"H-hello? I-is this Nagisa?" he stumbled.

Silence. Before a small: "Yes."

"Hello! Hello, hello, I'm that guy you gave your number to -– glasses guy. I had the friend with the shark teeth." Rei explained, leaning forwards.

"Yeah, I remember. I... I didn't think you'd call me..." he said softly, and Rei could feel a kind of nervousness about him.

"Well, why not?" he mumbled, pulling his glasses off his face and sitting them on his head, the way they kept falling down his nose annoying him.

"Because I'm not-!" Nagisa stopped short, and muffled voices and music was heard.

"Hello?" Rei called out. He removed his phone from his ear and squinted at the LED screen. He was still on the line. "Are you OK?"

Nagisa cleared his throat once he was back on the phone. "Look, I'm still at work. It's risky, and I could do with not losing this job. I'll call you back."

The line went dead.

* * *

Nagisa lived in a three bedroomed apartment with two other guys who worked at the club, but one of them didn't return home that night, and when the morning rolled around, he still had not returned home, and Nagisa couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that someone had either hurt him, or the Boss had got to him. He didn't know which one was worse.

"I'm sure he's fine," Momo reassured, pulling on a t-shirt over his bare torso. "You know how careful he is."  
Nagisa couldn't help but frown, twisting his phone between his fingertips, eyes focussing on the scar on his left leg. "It doesn't matter how careful he is."

Momo collapsed down next to him on the couch, arms thrown over the back. "You're worrying too much. And anyway, you're not usually so skittish after a night like you had." he said, dropping his head back.

"I-I know." he stammered, resting his phone against his lips and staring at his feet. "Did you see that guy I was talking to?"  
Momo lifted his head, looking over at him with a smile. "Yeah."

Nagisa shrugged his hoody over his shoulders as the sleeves slipped down his bare arms, the cold of the apartment hitting his skin almost immediately. "Well, I gave him my number, and he called me before I left work."  
Momo raised his eyebrows. "Really? What did you say to him?"

Nagisa shrugged. "Nothing special. The usual, you know. But his friend called Boss an asshole and glasses looked worried. His other friend had shark teeth. That's all I remember, really." he sighed, unlocking his phone and staring at the boys number. "But I do remember he had really pretty eyes."

Momo nodded slowly, scratching his cheek. "Well, has he called since last night?"

Nagisa shook his head. "But he was drunk – and I did say I would call him back." he sighed, locking his phone again and throwing it down beside him. "But I don't know whether I want to or not."

Momo had started to say something – but Nagisa pressed a finger to his open lips when he heard the front door click.

"Hello?" Nagisa called out. "Ai?"

Silence. Momo and Nagisa swapped a look, their eyes filling with dread. Nagisa could see the possibilities of who it could be running through Momo's mind, the list becoming darker and darker. It couldn't be their Boss, that's for sure. He has no business with them when they were not at work. It could be the landlord – their rent had gone up, and they wouldn't get paid until the end of the month, so money is scarce. It could be Nagisa's ex, but what would he want? He'd done everything he could to steer clear away from him. So who could it be?

They heard a clatter in the kitchen. Momo slowly began to stand, Nagisa not too far behind him, the both of them treading carefully out of their lounge and padding softly down the carpeted hallway. Nagisa could hear his heart beating in his ears as the sounds of clattering dishes got closer. He reached out and grabbed the back of Momo's shirt for comfort. Momo touched the ajar door and slowly eased it open. The both of them peered around the door to see broken darkness, the blinds shut up tight, the only light peering through the cracks in the shutters, so they could just see the outline of a figure at the counter. Nagisa reached over Momo's shoulder and snapped on the kitchen light.

"_AI_!?" they cried simultaneously, and Ai jolted in surprise, dropping the mug he was holding, which shattered into pieces as it hit the tiled floor.

"I-I thought you were both asleep!" Ai breathed, kneeling down and beginning to collect the shards of his favourite mug that had scattered about the room.

"No! You scared us!" Momo cried, crouching himself and helping him clean up the larger pieces.

Nagisa's heart was still beating fast, but a wave of relief had washed over him. His friend was OK. Nothing extreme had happened to him. Well, as far as he knew. He grabbed the broom that was leaning against the wall and began sweeping up the smaller pieces, his blood cooling, the repetitive sweeps of the bristles against the smooth tiles almost therapeutic to his close panic attack. Once they'd cleaned up the shattered mug, made coffee and collected back into the lounge, Momo asked where Ai had been last night.

"My sister called me. My Mother's in hospital." he said sadly, misty blue eyes staring into his coffee. "She's very ill. She's not going to live past next month."

Momo widened his eyes. "That's awful, Ai!" he said softly.

"Yeah, we had no idea. Why didn't you call us?" Nagisa asked. "We were so worried!"

Ai shook his head. "I'm sorry... I didn't think about it. How stupid of me. I'm sorry." he repeated, tightening his grip on his mug.

Nagisa sighed, closing his eyes. "At least you're back! That's all that matters!" he opened one eye and smiled at him. "You'll be OK, Ai!"

Ai slumped further into the couch, hugging his coffee to his chest. "I hope so."

* * *

Rei couldn't help check his phone throughout the day, the office hours becoming longer and longer at each click of a button. He typed up the papers his boss asked him to do, but that took no more than an hour. He printed them, stacked them, propped them up on his bosses desk, asked about his promotion, was dismissed completely and got told they would talk about it next week. He sat around at his work station doing nothing until one, where he could clock out for an hour. He ended up going to his Mother's, who was happy to see him, as always, and made him lunch. She handed him a few cards which were passed onto her from relatives, talked non-stop about her week, the headache he had very early this morning slowly coming back. The odd thing about his hangover was that he had gotten over it so unusually quickly. A couple of painkillers, a drink of water and a slice of dry toast and he was ready to go. He'd tried calling Rin on his way to work, but there was no answer. He then tried to call Sousuke on his break, but he didn't answer either. The night had hit them harder than it had done for him, which was strange, because very often it was the other way around. His mother sat down to eat with him and asked about the night out he had with his friends, and Rei was very careful about what he said. He did not mention the strip club, the pretty blonde named Nagisa, the heavy drinking or the reckless driving, so he just told her he went out for a few drinks, it was nothing special, in which she responded to very sweetly, and said they were welcome to come to the family meal they had planned for his birthday on the weekend, but Rei declined for them, telling her they were busy with work, that they always took the weekend shifts at the station, and, thank the heavens, his mother believed him. There would be quite a few things that his friends would rather be doing than sitting down at a meal with his Mom, Dad, brother, very young nieces and their own mother. There were quite a few things _he'd_ rather be doing, in fact. He left fifteen minutes before he had to return to work, stopped at a store, bought a bottle of water, and was sat back in his desk with two minutes to spare. He checked his phone approximately 687 times within those first eight hours. Only nine more hours to go.

* * *

Nagisa stared at his phone, and he felt as if the phone was staring right back. His heart was in his throat and his stomach was on the floor as he picked it up from his bedside table and began dialling his number. The ringing started, and he felt his mouth go dry. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He'd never been this nervous before.  
"Hello?" a bright but deep voice answered, smoother and clearer than the one he had heard last night. "Nagisa?"

Nagisa freaked out when he heard his name being spoken in that wonderful voice of his, hanging up immediately and throwing his phone down onto the bed in one quick motion, hiding his face with his hands, shuddering in embarrassment. He can't do this. He _shouldn't _do this. Glasses looked like a sweet, clean cut, wholesome guy, with a good job and a stable family, a warm and tidy home, maybe even a pet or two. _Glasses doesn't deserve someone like me, _Nagisa thought, collapsing down into his bed, rubbing his clammy hands on his jeans. _I'm not good enough._

The phone buzzed beside him, and he jumped, heart thudding. It was a text.

Glasses: _Hello. Are you OK? _

Nagisa gripped his phone tightly in his hand, lowering his eyes, wondering what he should text back.

Nagisa: _I'm fine. Sorry I hung up._

He was about to type 'I got scared', but he didn't, not wanting to sound like a fool. His chest grew tight as he waited for a reply, wondering whether he was mad at him for hanging up. But he wasn't. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Glasses: _No problem! Everybody gets nervous. You can call me when you feel more confident. Maybe we should just text first?_

Nagisa felt tears well in his eyes, and he didn't know why. The amount of times someone had shaken his confidence was astounding, but for once somebody wanted to _build_ it. He wiped underneath his eyes furiously with a smile.

Nagisa: _Yes. Thank you for understanding._

He didn't read his reply until he was ready for work, and walking out of his apartment with Momo and Ai.

Glasses: _It's no problem at all. I hope you're well. I was wondering when I'd hear from you again._

Nagisa felt a blush creep across his cheeks and butterflies start to tremble in his belly, a warm rush making the corners of his mouth lift into the tiniest smile.

Nagisa: _I'm good. Are you? Did you really think about me?_

Momo watched as Nagisa's smile widened, one of which he'd never seen so genuine before. He ran a hand over his head. "All right there, lover boy?" he laughed. Nagisa elbowed him in the ribs, which made him laugh more.

Glasses: _Of course. Who couldn't? And I'm good too. Thank you for asking. _

Nagisa couldn't reply until his shift was over, but he couldn't help but smile for the rest of the evening, even when the Boss was yelling at him for not doing his job properly, or when somebody touched somewhere he didn't want to be touched. Because this was just a job, something fake, something that didn't really matter until it was pay day. But ever since he saw the brightest violet of Glasses' eyes, he felt he'd found something genuine. He felt he'd finally found something real.

* * *

The weekend left as quick as it had come, and Rei was not ready for the Monday shift. He'd just returned home from the disastrous meal with his family, which consisted of questions from his Father about his job and 'what about a girlfriend', which was awful, because everybody, even his nieces, knew that he was ultimately gay, but his Dad refuses to accept this fact and still passes it off as a phase, ignoring that his son turned twenty-three four days ago and that he was past the 'phase' stages of life. His brother's wife was annoying as always, his brother was sensible and satire as always, and his mother was chatty and smiley as always. The only two people who had changed were his nieces, who'd grown since the last time he'd seen them. Rosa was the oldest and Gracie was the youngest, and they held a better conversation with him than his own Father did. They loved how clever he was and how he understood almost everything, so they always asked him curious questions, which he was delighted to answer. He was invited over his brothers for a coffee after dinner, which he politely declined, but promised him next weekend. He collapsed back in his sofa, and Destrey jumped up and lay his head in his lap. Rei sighed deeply, scratching behind the dogs ears. He ran the days of the week in his head.

Monday: work.

Tuesday: work.

Wednesday: Work, then a night out with Rin and his girlfriend.

Thursday: Work.

Friday: work.

Saturday: Over his brothers, probably for the day.

Sunday: Fuck all.

Then the cycle starts all over again. His life regurgitating this awful routine over and over again, and he couldn't take it. He needed something to change. He needed something lively, something bright, something colourful, something _beautiful._ He needed Nagisa.  
He dug around in his jacket pocket for his phone and dialled Nagisa's number, but it went straight to answer phone. Rei was disappointed, but he was not dis-hearted, so he left a message instead, hoping, just hoping, that he would get over his fear and just call him back.

* * *

Nagisa sat down at the side of the stage, rubbing the part of his shoulder where someone had grabbed him too hard. He somehow felt winded and a little lost, eyes misting over and becoming oblivious to what was going on around him. He supported his head in his hands, staring at the dark crimson carpet below him, his bare feet standing on a dollar bill, glitter and someone's glove. He reached down and stuffed the dollar bill into the glove, before setting it down beside him, ready to be found by whomever it belonged. The place was already closed, but he had to take a few minutes to himself, as he was the last act that night, and sometimes it takes a lot out of him. The cleaners had already come in, one of them being the Bosses wife, another an ex stripper and the last being the senior of the group. The ex stripper, Roxanne, was the kindest of the three, as she understood how hard it was on them sometimes. She'd shown himself and Ai pictures of herself when she was their age. She used to be quite muscular, and was apparently the most popular with both men and women alike.

"I was a pole dancer, too." she'd smiled at them both, flicking her hair extensions over her shoulder and tucking the photos back into the front pocket of her apron. "I could please the eye quite easily. But, unfortunately, I injured my hip and couldn't do it any more, so I retired. It's a shame really, I quite enjoyed it."

She was walking over to him now, her smile comforting. "Is everything OK, Nagisa?"

He nodded, standing up straight. "Yeah. Just taking a few minutes time out, that's all." he sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Busy night."

She reached out and ran her thumb over his bruising shoulder. "So I see..." she said softly, brow furrowing in concern. "They can't touch you like that. They shouldn't be allowed to. Hasn't Smith said anything about it?"  
Nagisa shook his head, rubbing it again. "No. It's different. Bosses treat their women with more respect."

Roxanne raised her eyebrows at him. "You'd be surprised. But still, if they ever hurt us like that, our big guy would have punched their lights out."

Nagisa smiled slightly, dropping his eyes. "Like I said – he treats us different, cos we're men."

Roxanne put her hands on her hips. "That's completely immoral. I may be seen as a whore, but I know a thing or two about respect." she squeezed his shoulder. "You need to talk to Smith, otherwise this could get out of hand. You can get seriously hurt."

Nagisa just knocked it off – he didn't need this right now, and anyway, he couldn't talk to the Boss. He'd just yell at him again. Maybe get hands on, like he did last time he complained. Momo was waiting for him backstage, drinking coffee out of a paper cup and shaking glitter out of his hair.

"You didn't need to wait for me, you know." Nagisa sighed, pulling on his sweat shirt over his bare torso. "You could have just headed home."

Momo laughed. "And left you to walk home alone? No way, it's close to three, there are creepers out and about, and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't trust you on your own." he downed his coffee and slammed it down on the table he was sat on. "Oh, and your phone's been flashing for hours."

Momo pulled it out of his pocket, and before he could even pass it to him, like the polite person he was, Nagisa had already snatched it out of his hand.

"Who was it?" Momo asked, peering over Nagisa's shoulder.

"It's a voice mail off Glasses. Should I... I don't know..." Nagisa stared at the text alert, eyes growing unfocused, trying his hardest to decide on whether to open his message or not. The possibilities of what the short little voice message could hold started running rings in his head, making him grow even more worried than he already was. Maybe he didn't want to talk to him any more? Maybe he found someone else? Someone better? Someone more wholesome, someone more beautiful, someone he could spend his life with? Someone not like Nagisa at all? Maybe he's moving? Maybe he's sick? Maybe he's _dead_?!

"You're over-thinking this, Nagisa. Just listen to it." Momo interrupted the utterly ridiculous thoughts that were whirling through his mind with a smile. "I'm sure it's nothing bad."

Nagisa visibly swallowed as he dialled voice mail, fingers trembling.

"Hello, Nagisa. It's Rei. You know, glasses guy." The smooth, clear voice began, one of which made Nagisa's throat go dry and heart skip a beat. "I've felt like something has been missing from my life for a long time, and, until I met you, it was pretty bleak. But every message from you adds a small splash of colour to... well, everything. So, I would like to return the favour, and take you out sometime. See you in daylight. Call me back. Thanks."

Nagisa let his phone slip from his fingertips, which fell to the carpeted floor with little to nothing damage, his mouth slightly agape. Momo watched him, eyebrows raised. "Nagisa?" he hopped off the table and picked up his phone. "What is it? Are you OK?"

Nagisa grabbed Momo's wrists and pulled him into him. "Momo!" he cried, squeezing his wrists tight. "He wants to take me out!"

Momo grinned down at him. "I knew it was great news! So... What now? Are you going to let him take you out?"

Nagisa looked up at him, brow knotted in the middle. "I haven't been on a date in two years." he breathed, watching Momo's eyes with so much intensity, Momo couldn't help but break into laughter.

"Don't worry about it." he grinned, reaching up as soon as Nagisa had let go of him and tousling his blonde head, a sprinkling of glitter showering over his chest. "I'm sure you'll do great."

* * *

Rei was sat in a coffee shop on his lunch break when his phone buzzed beside him. Without a second glance, he picked up his phone.

"Hello?" he said, putting his tea to his lips.

"Hi." Nagisa replied softly. "Rei."

Rei couldn't help but smile. "Hello, Nagisa."

Nagisa cleared his throat. "I... I would like to go on a date with you."

Rei sat up straight, feeling a blush crawl across his cheeks. "Really? Y-You would?"  
"Of course... Unless... Unless you changed your mind. Which is completely OK." Nagisa blurted, feeling the fool.

"No! I haven't changed my mind. When are you free?"

Rei sorted out a dinner date for Friday night when Nagisa was not at work, and Rei wasn't out with anyone. Nagisa sounded very excited, and he told him that he hadn't been on a date for almost two years, because his job usually put people off, and that he was actually kind of surprised that _he _wasn't put off, but Rei reassured that he was OK with it, and as long as it wasn't hurting him, mentally or physically, it didn't matter what job he did. Nagisa quickly changed the subject, which worried Rei slightly, but he didn't let it bother him. They chatted happily until Rei told him he had to return to work, and that he would see him on Friday.

* * *

Rei went to pick up Nagisa at his apartment, which was not too far away from his own home. He unbuttoned his shirt at the top and removed his tie, thinking it was a little over the top. He checked his hair in the rear view mirror, before stepping out of his car and pressing the intercom button for the third floor.

"Hello?"

A male voice he did not recognise answered. Nagisa mentioned something about room mates, so he decided not to get too worried.

"Yes, it's Rei."

"Oh! Yeah, I know you. Come on up."

Rei climbed three flights of stairs and knocked on the door at the end of the corridor, slipping off his glasses and cleaning them with the hankie in his pocket. The door creaked open, and Rei raised his eyes to see a bleary figure standing before him, and all he could really pick out from his poor vision was a mess of red hair and a black t-shirt.

"Hello. You're Rei, right?"

Rei nodded, slipping his glasses back over his eyes, the figure standing before him now clear as day. He had golden iris' and a wide grin, a kind of crazy-but-sexy look about him.

"Come in, come in, Nagisa's still getting ready." he said, holding the door wider so Rei could step inside. "You scrub up rather nicely, if I do say so myself, I am quite jealous."

Rei felt himself blush stupidly. "Uh, thank you." he smiled politely.

"No problem! Oi, Nagisa! Your date's here!" he called down the hall. "He needs provoking sometimes."

"I'm coming!" he called back. Nagisa was panicking. What was he wearing? What should _he _wear? He was standing in a pair of black skinny jeans and nothing else, desperately digging around in his drawers, sorting through hangers. Was it fancy? Was it not? Who knew? If he were a girl it would be easier. He would just throw on a dress and that would be the end of it. In the end, he settled on a plain black shirt and an off-white cotton waistcoat. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulled on his his black plimsolls and called it an outfit. Grabbing his phone and wallet, he made it out in the nick of time, spraying on aftershave as he left the room. He hadn't seen Rei since he was at the strip club, and he was extremely nervous. This wasn't half naked, half drunk, just-got-off-stage Nagisa, this was I-really-don't-want-to-fuck-this-up Nagisa, who always tried to hard to be sensible and was somewhat awkward. Momo had taken him into the lounge, and as Nagisa approached the room, he could hear his friend talking non stop about whatever was on his mind. Nagisa slowly pushed open the door, eyes fixated on the ground as he stepped inside.

"Nagisa!" Momo greeted him. "You dressed up too! Man, I wish I had a date, I haven't dressed up nice since my Dad's wedding, and that was three years ago."

Rei slowly stood from the seat he'd been slumped in, smiling sweetly at Nagisa. "Hello, Nagisa." he said softly.

Nagisa raised his eyes, and was once again mesmerised by the captivating violet of his iris', which were framed by dark red glasses, the same ones he was wearing when he was at the club.

"I hope you are silent because of how good I look."

Nagisa laughed, feeling himself relax, not realising how tense his shoulders had been. "Of course I am... Rei." he said his name quietly, as if he had to savour it. "Shall we go?"

Momo waved them off as they both left. "Bring home before midnight!" he joked.

Rei looked over his shoulder with a smile. "I can't make any promises."

Nagisa was completely fascinated by everything Rei had, and everything that he _was_. His car was small but very neat and tidy, the seats made from soft, smooth leather, which made the experience all the more comfortable, and the heating in the car made it ever so cosy. He hadn't gotten very much sleep the morning after his shift, because he was so worked up over this date, so he felt himself get very tired, very quickly. Rei kept him awake by talking about the restaurant they were going to, and about how happy he was about finally meeting him in person after two weeks of constant messaging. Nagisa replied in all the right places, but he found it harder and harder to keep his head up, and eventually dropped off at one point. Rei only noticed his date had fallen asleep when he'd started snoring ever so softly, breaking up his words into silence. The odd thing was that he didn't feel the slightest bit annoyed. If it were his brother, or his mother, he may have been slightly peeved. But somehow, he felt indifferent. He probably works harder in a week than he ever had in his life, and the late nights and the mental turmoil must have a massive impact on how much sleep he must really get. He smiled slightly as he continued to drive on, a warm feeling swelling in his chest. This was him, the guy he's been talking to for days, and he was curled up asleep like a ten-year-old in the front of his car after a long day. Rei chuckled softly. _At least this place is a few miles away, _he thought, looking over at him. _He can get some rest before we get there._

Nagisa was groggy as always when he got awoken by a gentle shake of the shoulder.

"Nagisa..." a strangely familiar voice said softly, a large, protective hand squeezing his arm. "We're here."

Nagisa sat straight up, almost choking himself with his seatbelt. "Oh, my God! I fell asleep!" he laughed, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. "And it was one of the best I've ever had!"

Rei chuckled. "I'm glad. Are you awake enough to eat?" he said with a smile, watching him with admiring eyes, desperately wanting to reach out and smooth down the curls at the back of his head.

"I'm starving!" he announced, unbuckling the seatbelt and stretching himself out. "I hope they do big meals."

Rei was weirdly charmed by this new confidence Nagisa had somehow gained from half an hours worth of sleep. "They do really good pasta."

Nagisa grabbed Rei's arm. "I love pasta." he smiled. "Let's go!"

Nagisa was unfamiliar with posh, expensive restaurants. If Rei had just taken him to a Pizza Hut, he would have been happy, because as long as he was eating and talking, he was fine. He followed behind his tall companion like a lost puppy, looking around the place in complete awe. It was very traditional, the walls all exposed limestone, pictures of half-nude women and open fields hanging lopsidedly over the uneven bricks. The tables seated a maximum of six, and were decorated in cute little gingham table cloths, tall candles that melted into the vintage wine bottles that held them upright, and a small jar of flowers in the centre. A waiter shorter than Nagisa guided them to their table, and Nagisa couldn't help but slip his arm into Rei's, slightly worried he may get lost in this place, even though it was about the size of his apartment, if not just a tad larger. Rei felt a rush of blood to his neck at Nagisa's unexpected move, and he looked forward, beginning to feel flustered. The waiter sat them down in a small booth at the back of the restaurant, laid the menus on the table, and said he'd be back for drinks. Nagisa slipped into the booth, collapsing down into the leather seating, disappointed that it wasn't as comfortable as Rei's car.

"This place is wonderful." he said softly, as soon as he got comfortable, watching Rei move the candles to the bottom of the table.

Rei smiled proudly. "It's my favourite restaurant! I'm glad you like it."

Nagisa put a finger to his lips. "It's not _all _about the appearance, mind." he smiled sweetly.

"I can assure you, the food here his delicious." Rei laughed, handing him a menu.

"Oh yeah?" Nagisa winked as he took the menu from his grasp. "I'll be the judge of that."

Rei smirked at him over the top of his menu. "You're into your food, huh?"

"Damn right I am. 'Good' and 'food' are only one letter away from each other." Nagisa grinned. "Do you think that's some kind of coincidence, Rei?"

Rei laughed lightly, pushing his glasses up his nose in the cutest way Nagisa had ever seen. "You know what? I've never thought of it like that." Rei set his menu down onto the table so he could see him properly. "You learn something new everyday."

Nagisa rolled up his shirt sleeves. "Not at my job, you don't."

Rei looked down at Nagisa's bare arms. He'd never seen them, because they had been hidden beneath the crimson material of his over-the-elbow gloves. He had a tattoo of a lion on the outside of his forearm, and a crossbow on the inside of his wrist. Rei smiled slightly, looking back down at his menu. It was something about tattoos that he found rather distinguishing, but he could not put his finger on why. Maybe there wasn't a reason why. Maybe he just liked tattoos.

"U-uh..." Nagisa stammered, scratching his cheek.  
"Is there a problem?" Rei asked, looking back up at him. "You're not a vegetarian, are you?"

"Oh, no... It's just... There's no way I can afford this." he said softly, looking up at him. "It's way too expensive."

Rei blinked, sitting up straight. "Don't worry, I'll pay for you. This is a date, after all." he smiled at him, and Nagisa only saw an angel that had descended from Heaven, the candle creating a halo of golden light around him.

"Are you sure?" Nagisa breathed, almost forgetting where he was. "It's just... So pricey..."

"Of course. I insist." Rei reassured. "Everything is on me."

Nagisa still felt extremely guilty, staring at the menu and trying to pick the cheapest thing on there, but no matter what sounded good to him it was still way too dear. He felt so guilty, that when the waiter came over to take their drinks order, he just asked for water.

"Are you sure? We could get a bottle of wine-" Rei began.

Nagisa shook his head. "No, thank you. I'm not allowed to drink."

Rei just nodded. "That's fine."

The guilt did not stop him ordering a three course meal, though. King prawns on stone baked bread, egg pasta with chicken breast and creamy sauce, and for dessert, he and Rei shared a selection of cakes with the restaurants home-made ice-cream. It was the most beautiful meal Nagisa had ever had the privilege to encounter, and he ate every single scrap of it. Conversation didn't really flow when they were eating their individual courses, as Nagisa was too engaged in tasting every single flavour he could determine from the seasoned chicken and cream sauce, and Rei did not mind that at all. He looked so happy to be eating something so new, it felt wrong of him to interrupt him. But whilst they were eating their dessert, it seemed the conversation had began to flow smoothly again.

"Where do you work, if you can afford this?" Nagisa smiled slightly at him, slipping a spoonful of ice-cream between his lips.

"Well, I've gotten a diploma in law, and I'm working as a lawyers assistant at the moment. I know it's not much, but I should be getting a promotion soon." Rei explained, cutting a slice of chocolate cake into even small pieces. "I would like to become a lawyer myself."

Nagisa nodded. "I can see you as a lawyer. Who would you defend? The victim or the bad guy?"

The corner of Rei's mouth twitched. "Don't you mean the Defendant and the Plaintiff?"

Nagisa smiled, rolling his eyes. "Whatever, Mr. Lawyer. I'm just here for the cake." he said, taking a slice of what Rei was just neatly dividing and popping it into his mouth.

"Well," Rei continued, ignoring his last statement. "Probably the victim. Because it's easier than having a criminally insane character on your hands."

Nagisa thought about this, taking another bit of cake. "I think I would have the bad guy." he said with a half smile. "It would be interesting to see what sort of excuses they could come up with for 'robbing that bank' or 'murdering that guy'. I would find it entertaining, anyway."

Rei couldn't help but smile. "I do see where you're coming from."

Nagisa scooped up a chunk of the chocolate cake into his dessert spoon and held it before Rei's lips. "Eat this before I do." he said with a cheeky smirk, hand supporting his head.

Rei let himself get fed by the small blonde stripper who wanted to talk to criminally insane murderers. He'd tried this cake many times before, but it tasted more delicious off of Nagisa's spoon. Rei cut a piece off the slice of lemon cheesecake and offered it to Nagisa. He opened his lips obediently and Rei deposited of the cheesecake into his mouth. As soon as he tasted it, though, his look turned sour, making Rei laugh out loud. Nagisa took a swig from Rei's wine glass, swallowing it down like a pill.

"What in the world did you give to me?" Nagisa wheezed, having swallowed it to fast, and it was now stuck at the back of his throat.

"Lemon and lime cheesecake. Why? Did you not like it?" Rei chuckled, taking a bite from it himself. "It's my favourite."

Nagisa shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "I hate how sour tastes. Yack. That was awful." he took another sip of Rei's wine, the sweet, crisp taste taking away the sticky, sour one. "Crap, now you're making me drink."

Rei continued to eat the slither of cheesecake with a knowing smirk. Nagisa started on the strawberry tart that sat beside it. "Now this is more like it." he smiled, picking up the fresh strawberry between his fingertips and dipping it into his ice cream. "Strawberries are my absolute favourite. Take notes."

Rei laughed. "I think I'll remember that. I'm not really a big fan."

Nagisa took hold of the stalk and sucked the ice-cream off the end of the berry, ever so suggestively, watching Rei the whole time he did so. "You're missing out." he murmured, slowly biting down into the soft skin of the fruit, feeling himself glow as he watched Rei's blush spread across his cheeks.

Rei cleared his throat, looking into his lap. "I-I'm sure I could go without."

Nagisa shrugged, finishing off the strawberry and starting on the tart itself, sighing in bliss as the sweet strawberry sauce touched his tongue. "Are you sure? This is _wonderful_." he breathed once he'd swallowed. "But it's still not as good as what my grandma used to make."

Rei watched him with a fond smile, wondering how in the world a single person could make him so flustered then so adoring in the short space of thirty seconds.

"I'm so full," Nagisa breathed as soon as the plate of cakes was completely empty, patting his full stomach contently. "I haven't had a meal like that since I was a kid."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Rei smiled, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I am here to please, not to disappoint."

Nagisa smirked. "Oh, really?"

Rei blushed again, adjusting his glasses. "Y-You know what I mean."

Nagisa laughed lightly. "You look so cute when you blush like that." he said, supporting his head with both hands. "Like a little cartoon character."

The bill arrived after some light conversation, and the guilt hit him like a ton of bricks, having forgotten all about it for such a long time. Rei asked for the card machine, so he never got to know how much the meal really cost, but he knew it was way more money that he could afford at the moment. As soon as the meal was paid for, and they had left the building into the crisp, autumn air, Nagisa grabbed Rei's hands and squeezed them tight. "I promise I will pay for our date next time." he said firmly. "I get paid next week, so we can go out somewhere together. How does that sound?"

Rei was taken aback by his invite, but still managed to smile. "Of course. It sounds wonderful." he squeezed Nagisa's hands in return. "We can organise it over the weekend."  
Nagisa nodded happily, a big smile on his face. Rei couldn't help his next move – Nagisa's confidence was contagious, it seemed. He bent down and kissed his cheek gently. "Thank you for a wonderful night."

Nagisa blushed furiously, letting go of Rei's hand a pressing his own against his cheek. "Likewise." he breathed, the fact that Rei had kissed him so gently and so carefully not really processing.

Nagisa was silent on the way back to his, wondering what was expected of him tomorrow night, where he had to go with Ai, what kind of party it was. When parties rang the club up, it was usually a women's party, never a men's one, which Nagisa didn't mind at all. The women were kinder than the men, and all they did was laugh and squeal, and the bride-to-be or the birthday girl would always get something extra, whatever that something would be. No, Nagisa didn't mind parties at all. Especially if he's with his friends. That can be a _lot_ more fun.

"What's on your mind?" Rei asked him.

Nagisa sighed deeply. "Nothing. I just have to go to a party tomorrow, that's all. I think it's a Hen night, but who knows." he shrugged, crossing his arms over his stomach. "I prefer parties to the club anyway. The boss never knows what I do there."  
"Do you like your job, Nagisa?" Rei asked, doing his best to keep his eyes on the road.

Nagisa looked over at him, eyes wide. "Why? Did Momo tell you something?"

Rei shook his head. "No! No, nothing like that. I just... I've never personally known a stripper before, let alone _date _one. I just wanted to know – do you like what you do?"

Nagisa thought about it, scratching the back of his head. "I... It depends on the night." he said softly, looking at his feet.

Rei nodded. "Give me an example of a good night."

Nagisa whistled as he exhaled, sitting back in his seat. "Well... If I get a lot of tips, or if I don't get harassed, that's always good... Uh..." he furrowed his brow, trying desperately to dig something up from the back of his mind. "Oh! If someone buys me a drink, or if I'm on stage with my friends, that's good too..."

Rei nibbled the dead skin on his lip, the same concern he felt when he was at the club slowly returning. "What do you mean by harassed?" he said softly.

Nagisa shrugged. "Felt up, chatted up, you know," he said casually, running a hand over his hair. "But it's all comes with the job. Like a package, you know. It doesn't bother me, not really."

Rei nodded again, but still felt he needed to say something about this. Anything. "As long as they're not hurting you, then it's OK." he said gently, gripping the steering wheel tight.

Nagisa said nothing, glancing out of the window to the side of him with a sigh. "It's started to rain." he said solemnly, resting his elbow against the glass. "Winter's coming."

"It sure is." Rei sighed deeply, relaxing his shoulders. "I like the rain, though."

Nagisa smiled. "Me too." he replied, watching the ripples as new raindrops _drip, drip, dripped _into old puddles, the reflection of the street lamps above breaking up into only speckles of light. "It's like the world is being washed away of its sins, you know?"

Rei nodded with a smile. "I know."

Rei walked Nagisa to his apartment, all the way Nagisa pointing out who lived where, and explaining how the apartment below them always threw parties, which were loud, but never really bothered them much, because the three of them were always at the club late at night. They had been invited to one a few weeks after they had moved in, but it was basically just a load of kids who'd just graduated from High School that got together to play loud music and get high, so the three of them never went again. Nagisa had invited Rei inside, and after some thought he politely declined, as he had to go to work pretty early the next morning.

"I had a really nice time, Rei," Nagisa said softly, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Thank you – for everything. I know it's not exactly much, but-"

Rei shook his head. "No. Your company was all that I needed." he smiled down at him. "Thank _you_ for being sweet about it."

Nagisa blushed furiously, looking down at his feet. "Yeah, well."

They both stood there in silence for a good few minutes, the sudden quiet awkward and unnerving. Nagisa reached out to knock on the door, because he just _knew _that Momo would have been crouching behind it since half past ten, with a cake reading 'Congratulations on the first day of the rest of your life'. Maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but he never really knew where the line was between completely insane and completely normal with Momo.

"Wait." Rei said softly, taking the hand that was reaching over in his.

Nagisa furrowed his brow. "What is it?"

Rei tilted his head and kissed Nagisa's lips, softly, gently, barely even grazing them, really. But Nagisa still managed to freak out, jerking his head away and avoiding his eyes with a blush scarring his cheeks. "I-I-I'm sorry..." he whispered, hiding his forehead with the palm of his hand. "I wasn't... I..."

Rei smiled sadly. "It's OK. I understand. We'll take it slow, OK?" he said gently, reaching out and taking his hand in his own, squeezing it.

Nagisa nodded, dumbfounded. Rei squeezed his hand once more, before letting go. "Goodnight, Nagisa."

"Yeah. Goodnight."

* * *

Notes: shhh shhh shh yes i know when Rei's birthday is but i didn't want to write about christmas shh shh shh


	2. Dropout

Notes: I would like to confirm that they're not in Japan, they're in America, sorry, I should have cleared that up earlier.

TW: Idk but there's mentions of cancer and vomit in this one if anyone's sensitive to that kind of thing. Other than that, happy reading!

more notes at the bottom!

* * *

Momo and Ai were all ears when Nagisa got inside the apartment, the both of them having _literally_ been crouched in the hallway when he'd opened the door.

"Momo dragged me into it," Ai explained as they both watched Nagisa slide down the front door. "He was behind the door when _I _got home."

Nagisa sighed deeply, resting his head between his knees and letting out a loud groan. Momo and Ai swapped a look, the both of them unsure on what to say.

"So... How did it go?" Momo asked, crossing his legs up. "Was it good?"

Nagisa mumbled something that sounded like a 'yes', before he lifted his head and threw out his arms. "It was _perfect_."

"Then what's the matter?" Ai questioned, resting his head in his hands.

Nagisa recounted the whole date, telling them about how cosy his car was, how pretty the restaurant looked, the amazing food, the light, sweet conversations, the hefty bill, the way he held his hand, the way he asked about his job, everything. The both of them grimaced when he told them about the kiss, feeling his embarrassment and regret second-handedly.

"Why did you pull away? He sounds great!" Ai said, pulling his knees to his chest.

"He paid for your meal, and gave you a ride there and back. You could have at least kissed him back." Momo added, leaning forwards. "I would have!"

Nagisa waved them off with a flick of his hand. "Whatever. He said we can take it slow, so that's what we're doing." he said with a smile. "So no one's getting pregnant any time soon."

Momo snorted. "Yeah, I can see that lasting long." he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "I bet you fifty bucks that you're going to sleep with him in the next... say... two months."

Nagisa raised his eyebrows with a smirk. "Is that a challenge?"

Momo shrugged. "Maybe it is."

Ai shook his head. "No! No, this is _not _a challenge, this is about keeping a healthy relationship with someone! Come on, Nagisa!" he sighed deeply, tilting his head back. "You get to date what sounds like a wonderful guy, so keep it that way. And you!" he cried, poking Momo in the chest. "You should leave them alone!"

Momo slumped his shoulders, slouching over. "Fine." he muttered. "I'm still counting on it, though."

Nagisa crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, you're going to be wrong."

"We'll just see about that, won't we?" Momo snapped with a smirk.

Ai sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. "Here we go again."

* * *

Every Saturday night, Rei went out with Rin, Sousuke, and his school friend Haru, usually to a bar in town somewhere, nothing special, but Rin cancelled at last minute because his sister needed help with something, and Haru was busy with work, so it was just him and Sousuke that night. They sat at the bar alone together, one drinking vodka and coke, the other a bottle of cider, and they just talked about whatever was on their minds at that particular moment in time, and somehow, the conversation was pushed toward the subject of Nagisa, but because Sousuke still didn't know his name, he called him 'that pretty blonde stripper', and asked if he'd been talking to him at all.

"I went on a date with him last night." Rei smiled.

Sousuke raised his eyebrows. "Really? How'd it go?" he asked, leaning away from the counter.

"Really well, actually. He's such a wonderfully unusual character. It's just... He's rather reserved, you know what I mean? He's confident, but he didn't talk much about himself." Rei frowned, adjusting his glasses. "I know it was just the first date, but we did talk a lot about me, and my job. But when I tried to talk to him about anything, he kind of just... shrugged it off, I guess."

Sousuke shook his head. "I used to date a girl like that." he sighed, pouring the rest of the cider into his pint glass. "She did my head in though. She would always be upset over something, but she would never tell me what. She just covered it up with sex and jokes."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Rei shrugged, lifting his glass to his lips.

Sousuke laughed. "Yeah, well, it gets worse when you start falling in love with them, you know." he smiled, looking into his cider. "You start to care about them, and then the sex doesn't matter as much as their well-being, and then you want to be with them all the God damn time. You're fucked."

Rei blinked at him, lips slightly parted in disbelief. He'd never heard Sousuke talk about his love life like that before. It never dawned on him that Sousuke had even _been_ in love before. Privately, he thought he was a closeted asexual.

"But falling in love with her wasn't the worst thing. She wasn't in touch with her feelings. She didn't know how to express them. So when I told her how I felt, she broke my heart. I never blamed her though. I always blamed myself for not understanding what she was really looking for." he shrugged, sipping his drink. "And anyway," he swallowed before clearing his throat. "She's in the past."

Rei nodded, understanding that this was the first and the last time he'd ever talk about this mysterious girl who broke his heart; but he still felt an empty ache in his chest for one of his closest friends. How sad it must be, to love someone who didn't even know how to love you back?

"I'm sure you'll find someone." Rei reassured – and then he smiled. "I mean, if you suddenly decide you're bisexual I know one or maybe even two strippers who might like to date you."

Sousuke laughed heartily. "If they were women, then maybe I would. _Maybe_." he smiled, shaking his head. "But, yeah. Hopefully I will, someday."

"There's no rush, though. We're still young." Rei raised his eyebrows. "And with eyes like yours, everyone will be hitting on you."

"Everyone? Even you?" Sousuke half smiled.

"You know what, if you were gay, I would be all over you." Rei winked at him – before the both of them began to laugh, Sousuke shaking his head at him.

"I'm sure your soon to be boyfriend would be delighted." he grinned.

Rei rolled his eyes. "We've been on one date."

"Yeah, but you're going on another, right?" he grinned. "I knew you two would hit it off."

Rei just rolled his eyes again, yet couldn't help but feel pleased.

* * *

It was just after midnight when Rei received a call off his mother.

"Hello?" he mumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. "What is it?"

"Rei..." He could hear his mother choking down sobs as she said his name. "R-Rei, my darling, something... something awful..." she trailed off, breaking down into tears.

"Mom? Mom, what is it? What's wrong?" Rei tried, searching his night stand for his glasses, almost knocking a glass of water over as he manoeuvred his hands over the table.

"I-It's your father... You know he's had problems with his heart before... B-but... But..." his mom stammered through her sentence, breathing shallow.

Rei knocked his glasses off his bedside table and cursed under his breath. "Mom, where are you now?" he said gently, trying to squint through the darkness.

He heard his mother let out a deep breath. "At the hospital. Your dad had a heart attack."

Rei was almost shocked into a short silence, but he quickly recovered, rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb until there were colourful lights dancing across his vision. "OK. OK. I'm coming. Wait for me at the entrance, OK? I'm coming." he said gently, throwing his covers back and climbing out of bed.

"OK. Thank you, my darling Rei." she said softly, snivelling pathetically. "I couldn't do this without you."

"It's OK, Mom. Stay brave." he sighed.

He hung up after he said his goodbyes, threw his phone down on the unmade bed and took a step forward, got his foot stuck in the mess of yesterdays clothes, tripped and fumbled for something to grab before he fell to his side. He slammed his hand against his night stand, grip tight as he fell to his knees, and before he knew it, he had crushed his only pair of glasses with a cringe-worthy _crunch. _He slapped the palms of his hands over his eyes, muttering the words _shit, fuck, shit_ as he picked himself up from his kneeling position and stared down at his damaged glasses.

"_Shit_!" he finally cried throwing his fist down against the wall.

_As if I didn't have enough to worry about, _he thought to himself as he collected what remained of his spectacles up, _now I can't even see._

With no time to waste, he set his poor glasses down on his bedside table, pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxers, grabbed his phone, keys and wallet and headed out of his apartment, half blind, half asleep, and half inside a sweatshirt that was probably inside-out.

His mother was in a state of shock and utter sadness when he arrived at the hospital, wrapped up in a big winter coat over her pyjamas, her small, ageing hands trembling, her face that was usually so cheerful stained with tears and tiredness, her pale lips quivering and eyes that protruded lines of laughter from her many years of being on this earth threatening to spill more tears. Rei sandwiched the petite woman in his strong arms when he saw her, tying his best to protect her, kissing her head and rubbing her back, soothing her with calming words and a gentle embrace. She felt so tiny in his arms, so frail and feeble. _Had she always been so small? _Rei thought, squeezing her tight. _Had she always felt so weak?_

He pushed away these thoughts to the back of his mind. "Everything will be fine, Mom." he reassured, lips pressed against her blue-grey locks. "You'll see, Dad's a fighter."

She nodded, but wouldn't stop weeping, little shoulders shuddering. "Your brother wouldn't answer his phone, but I guess he wouldn't, because of the girls." she mumbled into his chest. "You're very good, coming here at this time."

Rei smiled. "I don't have anyone to wake up, though." he sighed, pulling away from her and resting his hands on her shoulders.

His mother smiled sweetly through her tears. "You'll find someone soon enough. They're out there, waiting for you to find them, you know? Maybe they're not the sort of person you would usually look for, but they are pure at heart." she spoke quietly, as if she were telling a secret. "And you will love them for who they are, no matter who they may be, no matter what happens. Because, I know, Rei, that you're pure of heart too."

Rei watched her in disbelief, eyes unblinking as his mother wiped her own tears away with a hanky she had hidden up her sleeve. "Th-thank you, Mom..." he said softly, squeezing her shoulders.

"Not at all, my darling. That's how I've stayed with your father for so long!" she laughed lightly, her sadness melting away. "I know he gets at you for being who you are, but when he sees how happy you are with whomever man you choose to spend your life with, I know he will change his mind." She reached out, caressing his face in her doll-like hands, in which Rei let himself fall into, having missed his mothers loving touch. "You're a wonderful boy, my darling. I wouldn't worry about love, not now. And anyway – I feel there will be someone in your life soon. Very soon." she smiled again, pinched his cheek gently, and let her hand slip.

Rei couldn't help but smile back, yet he didn't say a word. _He's already here, _Rei thought to himself, following his mother inside the hospital. _And his heart is purer than any I've known._

* * *

Nagisa had not been invited to a Hen night after all, but it may as well have been. Momo, Ai, Nagisa and others were all rented out like holiday cars or designer jewellery for a club night. It was full of women, and women exclusively. They were made to serve drinks to the women and dress up in the awful Playboytype costumes, which consisted of stiff white collars complete with bow ties around their necks, aprons that started at their hips and ended in the middle of their thighs, cuffs around their wrists that kept slipping over Ai's hands, and nothing else, apart from tiny under garments that barely held anything. Momo kept on rearranging himself, and only noticed what he'd been doing for almost an hour was inappropriate when Nagisa slapped him around the arm with a tray and told him to _leave his God damn penis alone_.

"I can't help it," he hissed, pulling his apron forward and looking down it, causing Nagisa to slam his hand over his forehead in complete embarrassment. "I'm way too big for them."

"Or maybe you just got a small size." Nagisa snapped, covering his friends middle section with his tray. "Why don't you just go ask for a bigger one?"

Momo sighed, rearranging his underwear again, Nagisa turning his head in the opposite direction, shuddering in embarrassment, repeating to himself that this was the _last time _he'd let himself see Momo's junk.

"I guess I could. Hey – why don't I just wear the underwear I came in?" he grinned up at him, snapping his apron back in place. "It can't do any harm, right?"

Nagisa sighed deeply, dropping his arm. "Do what you want. I need more drinks." he muttered, pushing past him and running his fingers through his hair, childish curls beginning to form and stick against his head as he felt unwanted sweat begin to drip from his face and down his back.

Some of the women he had been serving slapped Nagisa on his naked ass cheeks as he walked past, but he just played it off, flirting and laughing along with them all. All he could really think was _pay cheque, pay cheque, pay cheque, _and, _this is for a date for Rei. Fuck this up, and that date is out of the question. _He stood at the bar and waited on the bartender to pour more drinks for the customers.

"Working hard?" the bartender smiled at Nagisa.

Nagisa smiled and nodded, wiping his brow. "Sure is hot in here, though." he sighed, watching him pour ice cold champagne into tall flutes, then slowly bringing his eyes back on him.

The bartender smirked at him. "It sure is." he arranged twelve full glasses onto the tray Nagisa put before him, then held out a thirteenth toward him. "I'm feeling nice tonight." he grinned cheekily, winking at him.

Nagisa downed the drink in two gulps and slammed it back down on the bar. "Thanks, babe, I needed that." he returned his grin with a little smirk, feeling himself cringe as the word 'babe' left his mouth.

"Any time." he winked again, clicking his tongue against his cheek, and Nagisa suddenly felt dirty, scratching his arm as an itching feeling crawled underneath his skin.

He ignored this, but it only got worse as the night went on. All the touching and groping got heavier as the girls got drunker, and it was only a matter of time before he started to drink too, the night getting longer at every gulp. Even though he drinks to forget, the feeling of filth that had been bothering him only got worse, and it was only when the crawling feeling came back he would start to lose control of his mind, his head growing dizzy as he walked forwards, his body becoming uncomfortably hot as he entered the crowd again, eyes scanning around the room, watching as his whole world started collapsing beneath him.

* * *

Rei stood at the foot of his fathers bed with his mother and a fresh-faced nurse, a familiar figure lying stiffly in a hospital bed, starch, white sheets up to his underarms, arms crossed over his chest. Rei could not tell whether he was awake or not, because his vision was too blurred to see. He was surprised he managed to get here without killing himself.

"He's been in a sleep-like state for a few hours now," the nurse explained, walking towards Rei's father and slowly going out of focus, Rei having to squint to see that she was fiddling with tubes on his fathers body and the obnoxiously loud machinery that beeped insistently beside his bed. "But he's lucky to be alive. This heart attack was extremely severe."

Rei nodded, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Do you know what caused it?"

The young nurse turned her head towards him with a sad smile, which, of course, Rei couldn't clearly see. "High stress means high blood pressure. It's common, but hard on those with a weak heart." she pressed something on the machine. "He should be awake in a few hours. Call me if there are any problems!"

Rei's Mother sat close to her husband, reaching out and taking his grey, cold hand in her small, clammy one, clasping onto his fingers tight. Rei couldn't stand hospitals, or seeing his mom so upset, and no matter how much he disliked his dad, he still loves him, and seeing him like that distressed him, so he couldn't _imagine _what it was doing to his mother. He scratched the back of his neck. "I'm going to get a drink. Do you want one, Mom?" he asked.

"No, no. Get one for yourself, my darling. I'm fine." she smiled shakily up at him.

Rei nodded, turning on his heel and stepping out of the room in search of a coffee machine. Somehow, he stumbled upon one, and it took some time for him to order what he wanted, as he was unable to tell the letters and numbers. He must have looked really confused, because someone stopped and tapped him on the shoulder. "Need some help?"

Rei started, shoulders jolting upwards, and the young nurse who was treating his father laughed lightly. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." she apologized with a sweet smile.

"Oh, no, it-it's fine..." he stammered, reaching for his glasses, going to adjust them – before realizing they weren't actually there. "Well... would you mind reading what the screen says? You see, I broke my glasses in the rush to get here..."

The nurse nodded eagerly. "Of course!"

She read aloud the options and prices for him, and he let her order his coffee for him, handing her money so she could feed it to the machine.

"Thank you very much." Rei smiled at her, accepting the large coffee cup from her. "I appreciate the help."

The nurse blushed. "That's what I'm here for!" she grinned. "My name is Ray, by the way. My mother had always called me her little ray of sunshine!" she laughed lightly.

Rei felt himself blush. "Huh? Ray?" he laughed out loud. "What a coincidence! My name is Rei! Maybe a different spelling, but still!"

The nurse giggled cutely. "Wow! Small world, huh?" she took a step closer. "I'd like to say you're eyes are rather pretty, but I don't want to come across as weird."

Rei blushed. "Ha, no. It's fine. I get told that more than enough times, actually. They're my mothers eyes." he smiled down at her.

"I see!" she returned his dazzling smile. "And I see you have her good looks, too."

Rei cleared his throat. "Uh... I... I guess you could say that... Um..." he took a sip of his coffee, even though it burnt his mouth. "Are you... Are you hitting on me?"

Ray blushed furiously, looking down at her feet. "Well..." she looked back up at him with a small smile. "Maybe."

Rei cleared his throat again. "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner, but..." he averted his eyes. "I'm gay."

Ray jerked her head up, eyes wide. "You-!" she covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, my God, how embarrassing!"

Rei shook his head. "No, no, it's fine-" he started, but he was interrupted by Ray's loud laughter.

"How could I _not _know!?" she chortled, slapping her hand against her forehead. "I'm such an idiot!"

Rei let himself grin, her laughter flooding him with relief. "It's OK." he gently blew on his coffee, trying to cool it down enough to drink. "It doesn't happen often, so this is a novelty."

Ray opened her mouth to speak, but a doctor spoke quietly to her and she nodded, and after he left she apologized to Rei and followed after him. Rei grinned, shaking his head, thoroughly amused.

* * *

Nagisa awoke from a dream he did not know he was having into a dark, cold room with a damp towel on his forehead, and a cotton t-shirt cushioning his head as he lay helpless in the middle of a tiled floor. His stomach lurched as he sat up straight, and before he had time to process in his mind where the Hell he'd managed to end up, he'd vomited up the contents of his stomach against the wall he had been laid beside. He coughed and spluttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, every strain on his throat reverting into pain, his head pounding. He tried to stand, but his knees buckled underneath him, causing him to drop back down again. He had been dressed in the clothes he'd turned up to the club in, but his phone was not on him as expected. Feeling lost, weak, and confused, he started calling out, repeating Ai's and Momo's names until he heard something click, and a bright light flooded the dark room. Nagisa covered his face in his arms, groaning as his head pulsed.

"Oh, Nagisa," Ai said softly, taking in the trembling, drunken mess on the bathroom floor. "What happened to you at the club?"

Nagisa shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't remember. His head hurt, he felt sick, he couldn't stand up, he felt useless. But he couldn't say all this, otherwise he would have to risk vomiting again. He felt Ai's hands hook underneath his elbows as he tried to pull him up, but Ai found he was too heavy.

"I'm going to get Momo. Try to stay still, OK?" Ai said kindly.

Nagisa didn't _want _to move anyway. He wanted to sit in the corner between the sink and the shower forever, the smell of sick reminding him of how much an idiot he was. Momo eventually got moved out of bed, and he and Ai pulled Nagisa out of that tight little space he'd managed to squash himself into and sat him down on the toilet seat, the both of them standing with their hands on their hips, frowning down at him, like a mother and father would to a child who'd been caught sneaking home at two AM.

Nagisa squinted at them both. "What?" he mumbled, running his hands down his tired features.

"You know what!" Momo cried, and Nagisa groaned, knotting his hands behind his head and staring down at his knees.

"Please don't shout." he muttered, closing his eyes.

Momo grit his teeth, feeling his blood boil, but Ai lay a hand on his back, shaking his head. Momo relaxed, breathing out. "Nagisa, you almost got us all fired."

Nagisa's head shot up, eyes wide. "What?" he ran his hands over his curls. "But I..."

Ai nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yes, it's true. We're lucky we still have our jobs." he closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. "We have to work overtime."

Nagisa felt his chest squeeze tight. "But... Why?" he squeezed his hands into fists. "That's not fair!"

"You're telling me." Momo muttered sourly.

"We had to tell them you were sick. If they had caught on that you were drunk, we would have had our guts for garters." Ai said calmly, watching his friend with solemn eyes. "It was a close call."

Nagisa sniffed furiously. "I'm sorry." he muttered.

Ai smiled sadly. "It's OK. Momo told them that the Bartender had been giving us free drinks, so he got it worse than us." he sighed.

Momo crinkled his nose in disgust. "Anyway, it stinks of sick in here." he stated, looking around the room.

"I was sick by the shower, I think." Nagisa mumbled, pressing his head between his knees as it had began to spin. "Sorry." he mumbled.

Momo looked over, and sure enough, there was a pool of vomit near the opening of the shower. "I swear to God, Hazuki, you're a dead man." he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

* * *

Nagisa tossed and turned for the remainder of the night, worrying about what the Boss would say to him when he returned to the club Monday night. Would he be mad? Would he fire him? Or worse? He knew his friends had to work overtime, but what about him? Maybe it was different for him? Nagisa gave up on sleeping at around seven in the morning and sat slouched in the kitchen, head in his arms, listening to the kettle boil as he thought what happened last night through. What had made him faint? What made him feel so ill his friends had to quit their shift to take him home? It couldn't have just been alcohol. He didn't even drink that much. The kettle began to scream, but he made no effort to stand up and stop it, so he let it continue, wallowing in his own self-pity and sorrow.

"Nagisa?" Ai yawned, stretching out his back. He'd been rudely awoken by the kettle, and having no desire to go back to sleep, he ended up getting up himself. "What are you doing awake?"

Sighing deeply, he switched off the stove and made two mugs of coffee whilst waiting for his friend to respond, which he didn't. He just lay there, like he always did when he was hungover. Ai set the mug of coffee down before him, and sat with his legs crossed beside him, closing his eyes and feeling the warmth of his drink radiate through the porcelain, heating his chilled hands and frozen fingertips. Nagisa slowly lifted his head with a deep sigh, reaching out for his mug and holding it at arms length, glancing over at Ai, who was concentrating on trying to cool his ocoffee down.

"Thanks," he muttered, bringing it into his chest.

Ai smiled. "No problem." he said, pressing the rim of his mug to his lips and taking a slow sip. "You look like utter shit."

Nagisa sighed, looking into his mug and watching the bubbles that had settled all around the edges slowly dissolve into the liquid. "Thanks. I can always count on you." he mumbled sarcastically, supporting his head with his hand.

Ai smiled sweetly. "You shouldn't have gotten drunk then." he said simply.

Nagisa just dismissed this with a shrug. "Are you going to see your Mom today?"

Ai nodded, setting his drink down. "Yeah. I need to." he said sadly, tapping the side of his mug with his fingernail. "I haven't been going recently. I've been too busy."

Nagisa nodded with another sigh. "I hope she's OK." he said gently, looking at Ai properly for the first time he'd set foot into the kitchen.

Nagisa never really noticed how cute his friend looked in the mornings, and maybe it was his hungover, still a little drunk state-of-mind, but Ai was the definition of lovely on this particular morning, his puff of silver hair sticking up at the back, misty blue eyes clouded with last nights dreams, skin pale against his cheeks, which were flushed with sleep. He always wore some kind of vest to bed, sometimes it was loose, sometimes tight, all with different colours and little characters on them, and in the winter he'd always wear an over sized sweater to keep himself warm. It had only just dawned on Nagisa that he needed to appreciate how freaking adorable his best freind was, sometimes.

"Me too." Ai said sadly, biting down on his lip.

They sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes or so, sipping coffee and staring out of the kitchen window at the grey sky, the dull natural light creating dark, long shadows along the kitchen floor. After a little while, Nagisa spoke up again.

"What happened to me last night?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

Ai sighed deeply. "You fainted on one of the girls that were there. She was really upset and didn't know _what _to do. Luckily Momo wasn't too far away, and he and I took you to the bathroom. We tried to wake you up, and the best we could do was get you half-conscious.

"Momo and I carried you to the manager, who flipped out and was about to call and ambulance because he was scared about what happened to you, but Momo and I managed to talk him out of it. You started mumbling about feeling ill, and then you were sick in his trash can. Do you not remember that?"

Nagisa flushed, covering his face in his hands. "I didn't..."

Ai nodded. "You did. _That's _when the manager started going on about you drinking on the job, and how we could get sacked for that, etcetera, etcetera. But Momo jumped in about you feeling ill all day and that you were just getting over the flu, but the bartender gave you free drinks and that's probably why you were sick.

"So the manager called a cab for us and told us to take you home, and that you should have told him you were ill, and in response to this you cried."

Nagisa cringed. "_Fuck_." he hissed, slapping his forehead. "I'm so embarrassing."

"Yeah-huh." Ai confirmed. "Anyway, we got changed, and you somehow managed to dress yourself correctly. We got in the cab and Momo almost pushed you out because of how annoyingly depressing you were being. When we got home, you passed-out in the bathroom. We decided to leave you there – you wouldn't move anyway."

Nagisa let out a long sigh, lowering his head. "Imagine if Rei saw me like that."

Ai raised his eyebrows. "You need to clean your act up, Nagisa, other wise who _knows _who'll see you like that next."

* * *

Rei's Father awoke from his slumber at around nine AM, demanding breakfast.

"Ken, you're in hospital." Rei's mother said gently, hands on his shoulders. "Please, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down! Why am I here? What happened?" he barked, trying to sit up, but failing miserably. "Help me up!"

Rei pushed him back down again. "You need to keep calm, Dad. You've had a heart attack." he said firmly. "Mom, call for a nurse."

She did as she was told, popping her head out from behind the curtain and calling for the nurse that was at the end of the hallway.

"A heart attack? Don't be ridiculous!" he batted his sons hands away, sitting up by himself. "I'm completely fine! I just fainted, that's all!"

Ray had been alerted by the nurse that was keeping watch, and she hurried down the corridor, rather annoyed, as she we just about to clock out.

"Hello, Mr. Ryugazaki. I see you're awake." she sighed, bringing the pillows up behind his back and checking his heat rate. "Your heart seems to be beating regularly, so you should be discharged very soon. But you'll be put on medication from now on to reduce the risk of another attack."

Rei's father continued to argue that he didn't have a heart attack and that she was talking nonsense, but she completely dismissed this and went to put in a request for blood thinning medication for him.

"She doesn't know what she's doing, she's practically fresh out of medical school." he muttered grouchily after she'd left, fiddling with the tubes on his hands.

"She's just doing her job." Rei grunted, not wanting to get into an argument, but every fibre in his very being needed to contradict everything his father was saying. He'd been this way since he was at least twelve, when he realised everything that came out of his mouth was utter garbage, yet he was too scared to say anything about it until he turned fifteen.

Rei's mother fussed about his father whilst he complained about how uncomfortable the bed was and how loud the beeping was and how tired he was, even though he'd been sleeping for at least ten hours, if not more. Rei shifted about in the seat he'd been nodding off in since two in the morning, needing to get some rest, but his mind kept racing, thinking about whether he needed to go grocery shopping or not, when he should ring the opticians, whether Destrey was OK, all thoughts concerning his father going completely out of his mind. Eventually he fell asleep, but this lasted five minutes, because the next thing he knew his mother was shaking his shoulder and waving his phone in his face. He excused himself and stumbled through corridors and took endless rides in elevators until he reached the outdoors, again wondering how he managed this without killing himself or somebody else. During this seemingly endless journey, his cell rang three times, the fourth was when he was sat down on a wall outside the hospital.

"Mmm... Hello?" Rei mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

A delightful chime of laughter bought him back to his senses. "Rei! You sound half-asleep! Did I wake you up?" Nagisa said brightly.

Rei couldn't help but smile. "Not at all. It was my mother, actually." he sighed.

"Oh?"

Rei told him about his father's heart attack, his broken glasses, how upset his mother had been.

"Oh, dear. I'm so sorry." Nagisa said softly. "Is he OK?"

"He is _now_. He's been complaining since he woke up." Rei sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. "I'm kind of glad you called, got me out of there."

Nagisa giggled. "I'm glad that you're glad. Are you still at the hospital?"

"Yeah. I think I might head home in a while, though. My dog will be wondering where I've gone." he sighed.

"You have a dog?" Nagisa cried.

Rei chuckled. "I do! Didn't I tell you?"

Nagisa sounded betrayed. "No! What's type is it? What's it's name? How long have you had it?"

Rei laughed at his bombardment of questions. "OK, OK. His name is Destrey, he's a mongrel, and I've had him for a year and a half. Any more questions?"

"Hmm... Will I ever get to meet him?"

"If you want to-"

"Great! So, I can come to your place soon, right?" Nagisa smirked.

Rei knew it was coming. "That's one way of doing it." he laughed, supporting his head in his hand. "How was the party last night?"

The end of the line went silent for a couple seconds, and Rei thought his phone had died. "Hello?"

"Hmm? Sorry, I went off on a bit of a daydream." he sighed. "Yeah, it was all right. Nothing too important happened."

Rei sniffed. "Nothing happened to you, right?" he asked softly.

There it was again – the few seconds of silence. This time, Rei knew something was wrong.

"Ah!" Nagisa said suddenly. "Uh, I have to go, I-I'll talk to you later, OK? Bye, Rei!"

"Wait, Nagisa-" he tried, but, for the second time on his end, the line went dead.

* * *

As Rei waited for his Father to be sat in a wheelchair by a strong nurse and his mother, Ray came up to talk to him again.

"I know this may sound odd, but do you know a Rin Matsouka?" she asked.

Rei furrowed his brow. "It really depends on who's asking." he said cautiously, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh! Well, we knew each other in high-school. We were really close friends, but his girlfriend made him cut me off when we went to different colleges." she said sadly, running her hands through her thick, strawberry blonde locks. "We emailed each other a couple of times, but then I never heard from him again. I just remembered when I heard your name – he told me about you. You were friends with him in college, right?"

Rei didn't know what to say. Of course, she was telling the truth – they had met each other in college, and they and Sousuke were studying law. But they're now police officers, and he's a lawyer-in-training. She was also correct about his past girlfriend – she was controlling extremely controlling and very jealous, and wouldn't let Rin do anything but be with her. It took him a whole year to realise what she was doing, and cut her of soon thereafter. But how did this nurse know all this?

"Yes. Yes, I...I was friends with him. I still am, actually." he smiled down at her. "We go out every Friday with some other friends. I could... tell you where we meet? Maybe you could join us sometime?"

Ray's eyes brightened. "Really?" she grinned widely. "That's fantastic! Thank you!"

"No problem." he gave her a small smile. "Seems like the world is far smaller than we expected."

When Rei returned home, he fed his dog, called the opticians for some replacement glasses, which he would pick and wait on tomorrow. Ray had given him her number, and had asked him if he could pass it onto Rin, which, of course, he did not mind doing at all. But he had to check with Rin first. Because what if there was another reason he didn't stay in contact? There was no way of knowing unless he asked him. So, as he started heating up some left-overs for an early lunch, he called Rin.

"Yep? 'Sup, Rei?" he answered cheerfully enough, as usually, on a Sunday, this was the only day he ever let himself sleep in, and eleven thirty seemed quite early for him, but he didn't seem to be complaining.

"Hey! Uh, nothing, really. Well, I've just come home from the hospital." he sighed, leaning against the counter top.

"What?" he could hear him shuffling around. "Were you hurt?"

"Oh, no, it wasn't me. It was my father." Rei began to explain what he had to Nagisa, just in less detail.

"Oh! Wow, well, I hope he gets well." Rin said sincerely. "Man, that sounds awful."

"He'll be fine. He was complaining as soon as he woke up. Anyway, that's not what I called about," Rei dismissed his father like he had done to him, with one short, 'let's just change the subject' sentence. "It's about his nurse."

Rin chuckled. "What? Are you changing your mind about Nagisa now? Was it a hot nurse?"

Rei blushed furiously. "Not at all!" he cried, making Rin laugh even more."It was a woman, actually, and she wanted to know if I knew you."

"Huh?" Rin said. "What do you mean?"

Rei told him what Ray had, reciting the story, even adding in her hair and eye colour, if that had any significance to him.

"Ray... Yeah, I remember her. We were in a band together." he sighed somewhat happily. "High school was great."

Rei rolled his eyes. "Well," he continued, interrupting his reminiscing. "She wants to see you again, so I told her that she could meet us at the bar next week."

"Sounds good! It'll be great to see her again. She was great friends with my sister, too." he could hear a smile in his voice. "Is she still hot?"

Rei hummed, not even fazed by this very heterosexual question from his bisexual friend. "Well, she's good looking. I mean, I didn't really take any notice of how _hot _she was... But she was friendly, really nice girl."

"You're no good. I already know how nice she is. I want to know how _hot _she is."

Rei pursed his lips. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" he said, crouching and looking into the oven.

"I do, but still, can't I ask?"

Rei rolled his eyes, standing up straight and switching off the oven. "I suppose you can. But, like I said, I didn't take any notice."

"You didn't look at her body? Not once?"

"Rin, my glasses are broken, I could barely see her face as it was. She was just a blur from the neck down." he sighed impatiently.

"Oh! Well, you could have told me that earlier."

* * *

The next week went by in a blur. Nagisa was so busy he had no time between sleeping, eating and working to even consider a phone call or even a text to Rei. He only remembered to do so when he was on the very brink of sleep, or when he was just about to go on stage, those odd little moments when he obviously had next to nothing time to contact him. Even though his texts were scarce, Rei would drop him an odd little message every now and again that always made him smile, no matter what it was about.

_Glasses(Rei): I told Destrey you wanted to meet him. He seemed indifferent, but I knew that on the inside he was smiling. _

_Glasses(Rei): Do you ever get wished luck before you go on stage? Because if not, I wish you good luck. I hope you break the world record of the most dollar bills stuffed in one strippers underwear._

_Glasses(Rei): Momo texted me this morning. Although it was oddly charming, I would still like to know how he got my number._

_Glasses(Rei): Did I tell you how cute you looked last week? Because you looked adorable._✿

_Glasses(Rei): Momo told me you've been really tired. I hope you rest up when you have the time off, you'll make yourself sick, and nobody wants that. _

_Glasses(Rei): I saw a picture of a baby penguin today and thought of you. Don't ask me why. I was tempted to buy you a toy one. Christmas gift, maybe._

_Glasses(Rei): My friend still refers to you as the 'pretty blonde stripper'. I don't know whether this is a compliment or not. _

_Glasses(Rei): Never mind, he told me it was._

Nagisa felt warm and fuzzy after every text he read, a little happy blush spreading over his cheeks every time. On Sunday, when he finally had a day off, he made breakfast at noon, sat crossed legged in bed and called him.

"Hey there, busy body! How have you been?" Rei asked cheerfully, and Nagisa could hear the big dorky grin in his voice.

"Good! This week has gone so fast! Sorry I wasn't able to talk, but I guess Momo has for me." he sighed, sipping his coffee.

"Indeed. He'd been telling me all about you." he laughed.

Nagisa blushed furiously, mouth slightly agape. "What's he been saying?"

Rei chuckled. "Nothing much, just silly little anecdotes. How did the pole dancing one go again?"

Nagisa groaned, dropping his head as he listened to Rei chortle. "I can't believe..."

Nagisa once got pole dancing lessons with Ai. This was where they met and soon became good friends with Momo. They had some good laughs at those lessons – until Nagisa bought down the ceiling. Now, Nagisa didn't know _what _happened - one minute he was trying to copy the instructor, the next minute he was on the floor – but, according to Momo, those poles had just been fitted, and the particular one Nagisa had been working on was faulty and hadn't been fitted correctly. and when he leaned backwards, his weight pulled the pole with him, and he had yanked it out of the ceiling. He got a concussion, a bruised ass, a broken arm, and two incredibly large bills. Although he tried to sue the place, and got nowhere with it, he did receive compensation, which _just _about covered his medical bill. He had to ask his sister for that months rent.

"Come on, it's not _that _embarrassing." he chuckled. "Just a faulty pole."

Nagisa groaned again. "It's not the story that's embarrassing... It's the fact that _you _know I took pole dancing lessons." he muttered into his coffee, and Rei burst out laughing again.

"I don't know, a stripper with many talents, that doesn't sound too bad to me." he grinned.

Nagisa rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. I can't do much else." he muttered bitterly.

"Hey! I bet you could do so much if you put your mind to it."

Nagisa hummed. "I doubt that... I left school at sixteen and never got my high school diploma, until my sister taught me the rest of my education when I was nineteen. Uh..." he sipped on his coffee again, before setting it down on the floor. "I went to community college at twenty to study art, but dropped out. I'm not as clever as you, that's what I'm saying."

Rei couldn't believe what he was hearing. College drop-out? _High school _drop-out? His crush was a _high-school_ drop-out? "But you are! Maybe not academically, but-"

"Yeah... That's the only one that matters, though." he said sadly. "It's not fair. I've never been clever. Even in school I was stupid."

Rei bit down on his lip. "Nagisa, you're not stupid." he reassured.

"How would you know? We've been out _once_. I'm surprised you haven't stopped talking to me yet." he snapped – then he clamped his hand over his mouth, shocked at his own words. Why did he have to say it so harshly? "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound mean..." he said softly.

"No, no, it's completely fine." he said gently. "Maybe we could... Are you free this afternoon? I know it's short notice, but maybe we could go out for a coffee somewhere."

Nagisa blushed. "What, really? Now?" he breathed. _Even after I'd snapped at you like that?_

"Of course. Unless you want to do something else?"

Nagisa put a finger to his lips – then smiled cheekily. "How about I go over to yours?"

Rei laughed. "Your heart is set on meeting my dog, huh?"

* * *

Nagisa arrived at Rei's at around two, dressed in his brand new jeans that he received as a gift from his youngest sister, who'd just come home from England, a red flannel shirt and an oversized hoody, and Momo told him before he left that he looked like a thug, and Ai said to ignore him, he looked cute. He took both comments with a pinch of salt, trusting neither of them when it came to clothes or dating. Rei's apartment was only a few streets away, and the walk there a pleasant one, the houses, shops and buildings turning from suburban to slightly well off as he worked further into the city, gardens turning from plain to pretty, the houses becoming bigger and more spaced out, all the doors and fences painted different colours, and the streets were somewhat cleaner. He reached the apartments at the end of the road Rei had directed him down, taking some time to stop and crane his neck to take in the tall, wide building that held over twelve floors and more than one hundred rooms. He found his way around easily enough, coming to a stop at a heavy door, painted cream to match the colour of the building, and a stainless steel number pad with speakers, which ruined the clean look of the apartments themselves. He pressed the numbers '983' and listened as the phone in Rei's apartment beeped loudly, signalling his call.

"Hello?" Rei's voice sounded odd through the static of the speakers.

"It's me," Nagisa smiled.

"Come on up."

After taking a quick, smooth ride in a massive elevator that was covered, wall to wall, in mirrors, he took a quick walk down a hallway and discovered that Rei's door was already open for him. He walked inside cautiously, and the first thing he noticed was how many shoes Rei had. They were all stacked neatly in a shelving unit beside a closed door, which Nagisa could only assume was his bedroom. There were dress shoes, running shoes, Converse, loafers, Toms, boots. The only shoes Nagisa owned were a pair of black Converse, plimsolls, hi-tops and rain boots. He'd never really had an occasion where he needed to dress up.

"Hello?" he called out, closing the door behind him.

"Hey!" Rei popped his head around his living room door. "Do you mind taking off your shoes?"

Nagisa shook his head, pulling off his hi-tops in two swift motions. "What are you doing with your door open?" he asked, setting his shoes beside the door. "You could get robbed."

Rei laughed. "No, not around here. My neighbours are either small families, single parents, or old people. It's not as interesting as where you live."

Nagisa followed his voice into the lounge, where he saw Rei stooped over a computer desk, tidying notes and pens away. It was rather large, bigger than his own, with a ceiling to floor glass wall with a sliding door so you could step out onto the balcony to watch the sunset if the mood suits you. Nagisa's sister had one, but she used hers to smoke. The rest of the walls were wallpapered with beige and cream flowers, and when you got a closer look, you could see they were tiny cherry blossom petals that branched off thin trees. A cream, three-seater sofa sat in the middle of the room behind a glass coffee table littered in law books and notes, and a very short, beach wood bookshelf ran along the length of the chimney breast. A flat screen TV hung above it, displaying what looked like a crime documentary, and Nagisa was confused on where his TV box and speakers were until Rei pulled away the books from one of the many bookshelves and pointed out where the box was hiding, then told him that the speakers were built into the TV, so he didn't need them. Nagisa then asked if he had a games console, and was disappointed when he told him he wasn't a fan of video games.

"But, I do play them when I'm invited too. I'm not too bad at them, actually. I just don't seem to have time." he shrugged, stacking the books back in their places.

The computer desk was sat snugly in one corner, and a large armchair with a lamp looming over it was packed up tight in another. Rei had explained that _that _was his reading chair, and Nagisa giggled and called him cute. The floor was laminated, which Nagisa took delight in sliding over them in his socks. There were cute little knick-knacks and bric-a-brac things placed all over the shop too, like tiny glass animals collected on one end of his bookcase, a snow globe with New York City sat inside at the other end, decorative picture frames containing photos of friends and relatives, a set of Russian dolls, glass lanterns, a tiny white Lucky Cat, and other odd little things as such. A photo of two girls and a man that looked a little like Rei hung above his computer desk, and Rei explained that it was his brother and his two nieces on holiday in Greece.

"Aw, I bet they love you, huh?" Nagisa smiled up at him.

Rei pushed his glasses up his nose. "Well, I'm just like any other uncle." he gestured over to the little glass animals. "They buy me these whenever they go on holiday. The elephant was when they went to Africa, which was their last one out of the country."  
Nagisa crouched down and started sorting through each tiny animal – a grey elephant with white tusks, a blue giraffe with yellow spots, a golden lion and it's little lion cub, a clown fish in water, a turquoise dolphin that looked like it was smiling, a black killer whale, the biggest out of all of them, and a crystal butterfly, which caught the sunlight and created a broken rainbow.

"They're so pretty," Nagisa smiled, placing them all back in the exact spot he'd found them. "Do you think they'll keep doing it when they're older?"

Rei smiled slightly. "I like to think so."

Nagisa was so curious about Rei's apartment – poking around here and there, asking about the people in his pictures and all the little souvenirs he had hiding in his bookshelves – that he completely forgot that he had a dog. So, when a black and white mongrel with thick, curly locks and the biggest, standing ears he'd ever seen walked into the lounge, his heart melted like butter.

"Oh, my _God_!" Nagisa cried, dropping to his knees and opening his arms for the big, blundering dog to fall into, which he did, rubbing his face all over Nagisa's, wet nose snuffling his neck and hair. "You're the cutest, _cutest_ baby I've ever seen!" he cooed, giggling as he began to lick his nose and cheeks. "Ah, he's beautiful!"

"Isn't he just?" he smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. "I rescued him, you know."

Nagisa looked up at him as Destrey collapsed into his lap. "What? Really?" he breathed, scratching Destrey on the head.

"Mmm. Found him in a dustbin near where you live. He was the only one in there, I have no idea where his mother or the rest of his litter was. I was drunk out of my mind, might I add, and when I heard this little guy pining I just felt the urge to find him." he rested a hand on top of his head, chuckling to himself. "He just sat in the palm of my hand, soaking wet and shaking. So, I tucked him in my pocket and ran off with him. I cleaned him and fed him when I got home, and he was well. So I kept him. I was still living with my mother, and she wasn't too pleased, but hey, she let me keep him."

Nagisa scratched behind Destrey's ears. "But who could leave someone like _you_ behind, huh?" he fussed, making kissy faces at him. "You're gorgeous!"

Destrey flopped down on his back and showed his stomach, wagging his tail so ferociously his whole body was wiggling. "Awww, want me to scratch your tummy?" he babied, bending over him and running his fingers through his wiry tummy fur.

"He'll fall in love with you if you do that." Rei smiled, walking into the kitchen. "Would you like a drink?"

"No, thanks." he called, rubbing Destrey's belly lovingly. "Will _you _fall in love with me if I scratch your tummy, Rei?"

Rei grinned. "It might take a bit more than that."

After Rei and Nagisa finished a documentaryabout a couple in the UK who kidnapped and killed thirteen teenage girls in the eighties and nineties, talking over it sometimes to deliver their own opinions on the subject, they walked Destrey through the park in Rei's neighbourhood. Nagisa hooked his arm through Rei's again, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets, telling him it was cold and he'd forgotten his jacket. Rei blushed happily, but didn't pass comment, as he liked how Nagisa's arm fit in his, and how his head only came to his shoulder, so if he was feeling brave, he could just rest his head against it, and even though he never did so, it was still a nice thought. The oak and maple trees that lined the path had started to shed their beautiful array of burgundy and golden leaves, a few falling in a whirl to their feet at every gentle gust of wind. They walked past an elderly couple with a Scotty dog, and both dogs refused to move until they'd sniffed each other up. The elderly woman smiled kindly at the both of them. "Well, don't you two look pretty as a picture."

Nagisa giggled sweetly whilst Rei blushed furiously, hiding his nose in his scarf. "Thank you!" Nagisa said brightly, winding both of his arms around Rei's. "You two look lovely too."

The woman laughed lightly. "Aren't you a charmer! No, no, we've passed our lovey-dovey phase, haven't we, dear?"

The man cracked a small smile. "We have indeed, my lover."

Nagisa could tell, despite what they said, they still loved each other, which he found really sweet.

"How long have you two been courting, if you don't mind me asking?" the woman asked, resting a hand against her chest.

"Only a month, actually." Rei spoke up, smiling at them both. "This is our second date."

"Oh!" the woman breathed. "You two look as if you've been together for years!"

Nagisa couldn't help but feel all fuzzy again, and Rei chuckled. "As do you two."

The woman and the man both laughed. "We've been together for fifty-five years. How you still stand me, dear, I have no idea." the woman smiled over at her husband. "Well, we better leave you both to it. Come on, Benny!"

Nagisa waved at them as they walked away, and he smiled up at Rei. "They were nice!"

Rei grinned. "They were."

They walked for another twenty minutes, conversation once again light and cheerful, before they decided to head back to Rei's. As they were walking back, Nagisa received a phone call.

"Oh! Sorry, it's Ai. Do you mind?" Nagisa asked, holding his phone up.

"Not at all." Rei smiled.

Nagisa answered his friend, and they continued to walk, Rei feeling rather content. _Maybe I should invite him to stay for dinner, _he thought, feeling the gust of breeze through his hair. _It couldn't hurt, right__?_

But, after a few silent moments on the phone, Nagisa's hand started to dig into his arm, and his voice wavered as he replied to his friend. Something told Rei his invitation could wait.

"OK. OK, I'm coming straight home. Call Momo, OK? Don't do anything stupid." he cut his friend off with that harsh sentence and let out a long breath.

"Is everything OK?" Rei asked him, stopping in his tracks and looking down at him.

Nagisa shook his head, and he wiped underneath his eyes furiously. Rei blinked, shocked. "Nagisa, what did he say? What happened?"

Nagisa squeezed Rei's arm tight. "Ai... He's so upset... Please, could you walk me home?"

Rei nodded numbly, and they began walking again. After a couple moments of heavy silence, Rei asked him what had been said.

Nagisa let out a shaky sigh. "His mom has had cancer twice, and last month she had to hospitalised because she was too weak to live on her own. His sister has her own family, and Ai lives too far away to look after her, so she had nurses. Then... Then she began to get so weak she could barely even move herself any more, so his sister decided to move her into hospital."

Rei braced himself for the next sentence, even though he knew what had happened as soon as he said 'cancer'.

"A-and... She passed away in her sleep last night. His sister... she'd only just told him." he sniffed, moving closer into Rei. "I need to get home... He's done some dumb things in the past, and I... I don't trust him on his own at a time like this."

Without further questioning, Rei guided his blonde companion home.

* * *

I'm sorry if you find any grammatical errors or anything, it's almost 3AM and I just wanted to upload this before I had to go back to school. I hope you enjoyed! Thank you all to those who left me a comment on either Tumblr or here, they've really made me smile.


	3. Destrey

TW: mentions of suicide, depression, violence and death. I hope you're all okay with this. Happy reading!

* * *

Ai was sat in the middle of the living room floor, knees pressed against his chest as he stared off into space. Nagisa hovered in the doorway, not really knowing whether he should interrupt him. Usually, when he was in a state of shock, Ai could sit like that for hours. No matter what Nagisa or Momo did to try and shake him out of it, he would just block them out. Nothing could bring him out of this state.

"Ai..." Nagisa said softly, tiptoeing over to him and slowly lowering himself beside him. "How are you feeling?"

Ai lowered his eyes, not saying a word. Nagisa exhaled deeply, bringing his legs up just as Ai had done. "I know it's difficult," he whispered, reaching over and taking his hand, which was cold and clammy, as if he'd been sat there for a while. "But could you please say something? Anything?"

Ai rested his head in his knees, shaking his head. With another sad sigh, Nagisa ran his thumb over his friends knuckles, trying to warm his hand up. "You're freezing. How long have you been sat here?"

Ai stayed silent, but found himself tightening his grip on Nagisa's hand.

"OK, I'll go turn the heating up, get you something warm." he said gently, squeezing his hand and moving to let go – but Ai held on fast, refusing to loosen the grip he had on his fingers.

"Would you like me to stay with you?" Nagisa murmured, shifting back into his original position.

Ai was still for a few moments – then a little nod of his head confirmed Nagisa's query.

"OK. All right. Did you call Momo?"

Ai nodded a little again.

"Good. He should be home soon, too, then."

Nagisa sat with Ai like that for a good half an hour, talking to him about anything that would keep his mind off of his mother, avoiding any subject that might set him off, keeping it light and happy. He would squeeze his hand every few minutes, keeping some part of him awake and active, and in response he would feel the slightest pinch back. Even though it was barely there, it was still something.

Momo returned home as worried as Nagisa had been, his heart racing and brow furrowing in deep concern, feeling so lost in the thoughts of _Ai has to be OK, Ai has to be OK_, he almost missed his stop and made his way back into the city, which would have been pretty stupid of him. When he entered the apartment, all that greeted him was silence, which did not subdue his concerns whatsoever, and only riled up his anxiety further. Taking a deep breath, he peered around the lounge door, and exhaled slowly when what he saw was nothing more than reassuring.

"Hey," Nagisa said softly, lifting his chin from where it rested on his arm. "Could you turn the heating up please? And bring us a blanket? Ai's freezing."

Momo nodded, stepping out of the lounge and feeling his heart rate slow. _He's going to be OK. _He thought, opening the airing cupboard and pulling out their softest blanket._ Ai is going to pull through this time. _

The night dragged by slowly, the three of them so used to doing their own thing or being at work, that this time they were spending together was odd, and staring mindlessly at the TV whilst more important thoughts ran circles behind their eyes was no help to them or anyone else. But Ai wasn't speaking. Ai didn't want to speak. Even with prompts from his friends he refused to open his mouth. At around six PM Nagisa had started to get hungry, and after a while longer, Momo did too.

"You hungry, Ai?" Nagisa asked, squeezing his hand for the umpteenth time.

"No." a small, raspy voice replied, the first answer that had been given to him for hours.

"You have to eat, Ai." Nagisa said gently, resting his head against his shoulder. "Please?"

"I don't want to." he mumbled, voice barely audible.

"At least have something to drink." Momo tried, slowly standing.

Ai shook his head.

"Just a drop of water?" Momo said gently, crouching down before him. "Just to keep you hydrated."

Ai shook his head again, and Momo let out a little sigh. "You're gonna make yourself ill."

"Maybe I want to." Ai muttered bitterly.

"Come on, Ai, don't be like that." Nagisa breathed, lifting his head.

Ai raised his head, misty eyes staring ahead, his two friends blinking at him. "My mother is dead." he said quietly, before getting louder. "My mother is _dead._ Do you... Do you know..." he squeezed Nagisa's hand so hard it started to hurt. "She's _dead_."

Nagisa swapped a look with Momo, the both of them unsure on how to respond. He'd never snapped out of shock so quickly before.

"And you want me to forget all about that?" tears had started running down his face, but he wasn't doing anything about it. "She's my _mom_. Why... why didn't I see her before she died? Why did I have to move? Why did I have to take this stupid _job_?"

He broke down, letting go of Nagisa's hand and hiding his face, broken sobs racking his body. An odd kind of relief rushed through Nagisa and Momo, letting go of a breath that they had seemed to be holding for hours. Nagisa wound his arms tightly around Ai, nose buried in his puff of silky, silver hair. It smelled sweet, kind of like strawberries. "Oh, Ai, we're so sorry." he said softly, rubbing his arms.

Momo lay a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. "We really are." he sighed.

Ai shook his head. "It's not your fault. I-it's no ones fault." he mumbled, moving his hands away from his face and wiping his tears away. "I just wish I'd said goodbye, you know?"

Nagisa smiled sadly. "Yeah. I know."

* * *

When Rei had returned home, he called his Mother, the conversation about Nagisa's poor friend making him feel the urge to contact the most important woman in his life.

"Hello, my darling!" she said cheerfully, and Rei could imagine her soft smile. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks, Mom. How about you?" he asked, sitting himself down at his computer.

"I'm very well indeed!" she smiled. "It's odd to hear from you at this time."

Rei smiled. "I just wanted to see how you were."

"Well, I'm fine! Your father went back to work on Friday, so he seems to be getting better, too."

"That's good." Rei supported his head in his hand. "How's your week been?"

"Oh, well, the usual, really. Your brother came round with the girls yesterday. I'd never realised how much Rosa has grown! She's turning into a proper young lady." she stated. "It's her birthday soon, isn't it?"

"Mmm," Rei confirmed, starting up his monitor. "It is."

"Eleven! Wow. Doesn't it make you feel old?" she laughed lightly.

Rei smiled. He remembered when she was born. He had just turned thirteen, and his mother had picked him up from school and told him that the long-awaited baby had been born. He remembered how excited everyone had been, and even his father was proud. No one thought it was too soon for his brother to have a child, as he was only twenty, but it seemed everybody was happy with the news, and his brother seemed to be prepared from the day his girlfriend, who was now his wife, had told him the news of her pregnancy. She's older than him by two years, but somehow this didn't faze him whatsoever. Rei thought he was mad. Even though he was still in middle school and had been struggling with his sexuality, he was well aware at how insane this was. _Why would you have a child so young? _He'd often think every time he saw his brother, with or without his girlfriend, _why would you throw away your life like that_?

But when he grew older, he started to understand. He loved her, and she loved him, and that's really all there is to it. If you love someone, you would want to make them happy. So, maybe, this baby was a symbol of their happiness. It must have been, because after they got married, they had another, and Gracie was born whilst Rei had started his first year in college. This time, he was ecstatic when his mother told him, and when the holidays rolled around she was the first thing he wanted to see.

"It does." Rei said softly, staring at his computer screen.

"Do you think you'll ever have a child, my darling?" his mother chirped.

Rei paused, thinking about it. "Well," he started, putting a finger to his lips. "I'm not sure. It really depends on who I end up with."

"Very true!"

"But, I don't know... If we both wanted one, then I suppose we would adopt." Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "I'd quite like a girl."

His mother smiled. "How sweet. It would be a nice change! Your brother seems to be the only one who's had girls!"

This was true. His Father, his brother and his sister have all married and had six boys between them, excluding Rei and his own brother. Then his mother's three sisters all had five kids between them, and only one was a girl. Out of all eleven of these cousins, Rei was the token gay, and his school friends had told him that there was always that one gay cousin in the family, and if you didn't have one, _you _were the gay cousin. Which, in his case, was true.

"I haven't seen any of your sisters recently. How are they?"

He listened to his mother go on about how his aunt Annie had divorced her second husband and went on holiday with his money, how his aunt Violet had helped his only girl cousin Kerry get a job as a paramedic, and how all her brothers had started a business together. And, oh, do you remember Tom? Well, he just bought a company for ten thousand dollars! Can you believe that? Where did he get all this money from?

Rei let her carry on as he started his work, replying in the right moments, confirming whether he knew this person and whether he remembered this name, and his mother happily went on and on and on, and when he'd been talking to her for about an hour, he wondered if she ever told his dad any of this stuff. After a while, she finally let him go, telling him she had to get dinner started.

"Oh! Before you go, Rei," she said, just as he was about to end the call. "A friend of mine said she saw you in the park walking Destrey! She said you were with a man! Is this true?"

Rei felt himself flush deeply, covering his face with his hand. "Mom, I was going to tell you-"

"So it _was _true! Oh, my darling, who is he? What is he like?" she breathed.

"Well, we've only been seeing each other for a few-"  
"Oh, I shouldn't ask. But I'm so happy for you, my darling. Maybe I could meet him soon?"

Rei sighed. "Sure, why not. I'm sure he would be happy to." he smiled.

* * *

It's always hard to sleep when there's something on your mind, and Nagisa had been experiencing this first-hand just lately, so many thoughts and worries making rings in his mind that he'd been getting less and less sleep as they days went on, and that night was no different. He tossed and turned, listening out for Ai, unwanted memories suddenly flooding back at every little sound he heard, like someone had ripped open a box at the back of his mind that read _**DO NOT OPEN **_in big, block letters, and started playing all of things he wanted to forget. It wasn't as if any of these memories were relevant to his current situation, and they did not help him in any way, but everything Ai had said, his tears and his wishes somehow opening what should have stayed locked up tight forever. The one that kept replaying, though, the one that made it harder and harder to fall asleep, was when he was a freshman in High School.

He'd broken up with his girlfriend over the summer for reasons he couldn't explain, so, obviously, he couldn't tell her a reason why, which she did not like at all. When the semester started, after a week or so, she'd began spreading nasty rumours about him and his family; about how his eldest sister had slept around and had ten abortions already, and that his mother was a druggie and sold her body for money, and that he hadn't seen his father since he was in elementary, because he'd ran off with a prostitute. All these rumours were only half the truth, but how could he clear that up? How could he stand up to the whole of his new year and tell them that his mother _was _a drug addict, but she didn't sell her body? How could he tell them that his father _had _ran off with a prostitute, but he still sees him every weekend? How could he tell them that his sister had only slept with one guy, but has had an abortion before? He _couldn't._ He just _couldn't_. He'd told her these things in confidence. He thought he could trust her. But all he got was a whole bunch of trust issues and a knife in the back. What he had of his high school years were absolutely miserable, and he got bullied so much that, at one point, he realised he just didn't give a fuck any more. He would sigh when they threw insults at him, his face deadpan when he found notes in his locker or they pushed him down in the corridors. He gradually began dropping classes, each one just as shitty as the other, until he completely stopped going to school.

His little sister, who was fourteen, would try and push him out of bed and beg him to come to school, but he had no energy, just laying face down in his underwear and not moving. His mom questioned him, but didn't press any further when he told her that he 'just didn't want to go'. She'd always though that a fair enough excuse, anyway. He spent a whole three months in the house, only going outdoors to get shopping so he could feed his sister, because his mom hardly ever got hungry, so she always forgot when it was supper or not. He began to like his routine; sleeping until noon, cleaning the house, making sure his mom was OK, because usually she would either be coming down from her high or getting over a hangover, and either way, Nagisa could handle it. He would then cook for him and his sister, watch TV with her, help with her homework as best he could. His mom would be off elsewhere by then, but that was OK, because he and his sister could look after themselves. His sister was very concerned about him, though, because he'd lost that naughty sparkle in his eye, and he'd smile less and less everyday, and that was her favourite thing about her brother, how he could always put a smile on her face when she was upset, or make her laugh when she was down, but how could he do this when he looked so sad himself? She couldn't put this into words, though, so she just ignored it and hoped it would get better.

It wasn't until his oldest sister came home from college (she was on a scholarship – she's now a lecturer at a university) and sorted him out. She told him he was depressed and that he needed to get back to school, but he refused to listen and kept telling her that he was fine, but she wasn't buying it.

Eventually, after much persuasion, she had gotten him to a therapist and put onto antidepressants. This was where he met Ai – at the hospital, waiting to be called in by one of many therapists they had on offer. They were sat opposite each other; Ai fiddling with a hospital bracelet, keeping his eyes down, and Nagisa was running his fingers over his bottom lip, a habit of his when he got nervous. The both of them looked up at the same time and made brief eye contact. Nagisa smiled brightly, something he'd slowly been gaining back as the days went on, and Ai had smiled timidly back, lowering his eyes again.

"What did you do?" was the first question that left Nagisa's mouth. Not a 'hello', nor a 'how are you?', but the most blatant, insensitive thing was said first. And to his surprise, Ai had replied honestly.

"Everyone's been asking me that." he said softly. He pointed at the bandage on his wrist. "You tell me."

Nagisa widened his eyes. "You... You tried..." he stammered, unable to finish his sentence.

Ai nodded with a sigh. "It was stupid, I know. My sister keeps telling me. I'm stupid." he sighed again, rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb.

Nagisa shook his head. "You're not stupid. It was a dumb move, yeah, but you yourself, you're not stupid." he reassured with a smile.

Ai had looked up at him with the brightest eyes he'd ever seen. "R-really?"

"You're still here! There's got to be reason why!" Nagisa said brightly, his optimism returning. "Maybe you're meant to be a scientist? Or a writer? Or an actor?"

Ai laughed for the first time in months. "No way. I couldn't do any of those things. I've always wanted to be a professional athlete, or a kindergarten teacher."

Nagisa grinned. "Well, there you are then! Maybe you are _meant _to be an athlete! That's why you're here now!"

Ai smiled kindly. "Maybe you're right."

* * *

Nagisa woke up in a cold sweat, not realising he'd been asleep until now. He wiped his brow, breathing heavy, his heart beating in his ears so loudly he almost missed the sound of footsteps outside his door. He sniffed, trying to slow his breathing.

"Ai?" he said softly, rubbing his eyes. "Is that you?"

He received no reply, as expected, so he threw back his bed sheets, determined to investigate. He shrugged on the closest hoody he could find and made his way out of his room, following the soft glow of light that shone from beneath the bathroom door. Of course, he didn't know who it was, so he couldn't make assumptions. He knocked on the door, winding his arms tightly around his torso as a chill caused goosebumps to crawl up his spine. After there was no reply, he began to worry, knocking on the door again, even trying the door handle, but it stuck fast.

"Ai?" he tried, knocking the door again. "Are you in there?"

Again, no reply. He pressed his ear against the door, and he could hear the faucet running, but no other movement.

"Shit," he hissed, trying the door handle again in fear. "Ai? Ai, let me in."

He thumped on the door this time, starting to shout as he began to panic, bile churning in his stomach, a sick feeling rising in his throat. Momo was disturbed by the yelling, pulling himself out of bed and swinging open his bedroom door.

"What is it?" Momo mumbled, rubbing his eye.

"Ai's in there, he won't answer me." Nagisa breathed, voice wavering.

Startled, Momo started to hammer on the door too. "Ai! Ai, open this door!" he cried, trying the handle himself, wiggling it furiously, but, of course, it wouldn't open.

The both of them thumped and yelled, but there was no movement from inside the bathroom, the both of them having been consoled by Ai's tears and his exhausted demeanour, they thought he would be OK, they _trusted_ that he wouldn't pull something like this again. But, of course, this was sadly untrue, and it scared them to the core. Nagisa was in the early stages of an anxiety attack, shaking all over and feeling tears scratch the back of his throat.

"I'm calling 911." Momo said calmly, banging his fist on the door one more time. "Where's your phone?"

Nagisa blinked, stunned. "What? You can't!"  
"Nagisa, if he's swallowing pills in there-"  
"Don't say that!" Nagisa cried, covering his ears and looking him dead in the eye, his own eyes brimming with tears. "_Don't._"

Momo sighed deeply, slamming his fist on the door again. "Ai? Ai, if you can hear me, say something."

They waited for a reply. They waited, and waited, and waited. Nagisa felt a tear dribble down his cheek.

"OK, I'm calling for an ambulance. There's nothing we can do." Momo said softly, and all Nagisa could do was agree.

The ambulance arrived quickly, and the kids in the apartment below watched as the two paramedics climbed the stairs. They asked Momo at the door if everything was OK.

"Don't worry about it," he said calmly. "Everything's under control."

Nagisa's heart was beating in his ears again as he watched the two women approach him.

"Where's your friend, sir?" the smaller woman asked, and he pointed over to the bathroom door, tears falling freely down his face.

As the bigger one knocked on the door and tried to talk to Ai, the smaller one sat Nagisa down on the floor and crouched down before him. He didn't realise that his breathing had begun to shallow, and his face was damp with tears and cold sweat.

"Stay calm," she said gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Just breathe in and out slowly, all right?"

_No_, he felt like yelling, _nothing was all right, and it won't ever be again_ – but he just nodded numbly instead, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand and breathing in and out, just as she asked, trying to stay as calm as he possibly could.

"Mr. Nitori? Mr. Nitori, I'm going to get the door open, is that all right?" the bigger woman said gently through the door.

The woman began to pick the lock, not bothering to wait for a reply, and when she was successful, she cautiously stepped into the bathroom, the smaller woman following her inside.

Momo was trembling as hard as Nagisa was, but he could handle these situations better than his poor friends could, so he calmed himself by repeating what he had done on the bus ride home a few hours before. _Ai has to be OK. Ai has to be OK._

They found Ai sitting in a cold bath, fully clothed, wide-awake but unresponsive. No matter how many times the two women tried to communicate with him, he did not reply. The smaller woman stepped outside, looking between the two men who looked as if they were about to vomit, skin pale, bodies unsteady.

"We think he's suffered from a mild breakdown. It's common, but we need to have him hospitalised, just in case his mental state drops. Do you know anything that might have happened to cause this?"

Momo let out a shaky sigh. "His mom died last night. He usually goes into weird states of shock, but this is the worst it's been." he said softly, staring down at his bare feet.

Nagisa wound his arms tight around his legs. "He has a history of depression." he whispered, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "And suicidal tendencies."  
The small woman nodded. "OK. Well, thank you for letting me know. Could you pack him a bag? We'll handle him, it's all right. He seems to be responding now."

Both Nagisa and Momo nodded, and they both headed into Ai's room, shaken to the very bone. They packed all of his favourite pyjama's and t-shirts and jeans and sweaters, and all Nagisa could think about was the first time they'd met.

'_You're still here! There's got to be a reason why!'_

_'I've always wanted to be a professional athlete. Or a kindergarten teacher.'_

_'Well, there you are then! That's why you're here now!'_

Nagisa sighed deeply, dropping down at the edge of Ai's bed and staring down at a stupid t-shirt with a cat on it. "Oh, Ai..." he said softly, pressing the soft material against his nose. "You would be a great kindergarten teacher."

Momo looked over at him, smiling sadly. "He would, wouldn't he?" he lifted the t-shirt out of his hands. "Maybe we should tell him that."

Nagisa smiled into his lap. "Maybe we should."

Ai was changed into dry clothes and taken down to the ambulance, his fingers gripping onto Momo's as he walked him downstairs, his whole body trembling. He was leant against Momo pathetically, needing all the support he could get from the strongest of the three, and Momo was happy to support him, winding an arm around his waist and holding his hand tight, showing him that everything was OK. Nagisa had stayed in the apartment. He couldn't do it, send his friend away to the hospital once again. Momo knew he couldn't, too. He knew he wasn't strong enough, he knew as soon as Ai set foot into that ambulance with them, Nagisa would cry. He would cry, and panic, and shout – it was a risk neither of them couldn't take. It would only distress their poor friend further. So Nagisa stayed behind, alone, trying to get his head around what exactly just happened. He curled up in Ai's bed, staring at the clock on the bedside table. It read five forty five AM, and Nagisa sighed deeply. There was no point in trying to sleep again. He didn't think he could, anyway. He wound his arms around one of the pillows and nuzzled his nose in the soft material, a whiff of his strawberry scented shampoo hitting his nose every time he breathed in. The apartment was quiet. Not the usual quiet, with light footsteps travelling to the bathroom and back, the whir of lights, the occasional snore or heavy breathing being heard through the thin walls – it was just... silence.

Nagisa hated it. It reminded him of the times he'd stay awake for hours waiting for his mother to come home when he was a kid, sometimes on her own, sometimes with a man, sometimes she didn't come back at all. He closed his eyes with a sigh, gripping tightly onto the pillows for comfort. He often wondered what it would be like to cuddle with Rei like that. Was he soft or muscular or bony? Was he warm or not at all? Nagisa imagined what it would be like to lie in the crook of his neck, or to press his forehead against his back, or to fall asleep in his chest. How would his arms hold him? Where would his hands be? Nagisa knew they were large and strong, but gentle too. Nagisa loved his hands. He loved his eyes, too. The light butterscotch of his skin, the midnight blue of his hair. He could stare at him all day, if he could. Just to study him, his sharp nose and pretty lips when they turned up into a smile. He wanted to know every single detail. Nagisa found himself falling asleep, reminiscing every part of the taller ones face that he could.

* * *

Rei found it hard to wake up that morning. He found he had to roll out of bed just to wake himself up, and even then he just curled up on the floor and managed to get five more minutes of apparently desperately needed sleep. Eventually, he unfurled himself from the blankets that were twisted around his legs and torso, and managed to stand up properly. He fitted his glasses over his eyes and squinted at the clock on his wall, awake all of a sudden when he realised how late he was.

"_Shit_." he hissed, racing to the bathroom and beginning his daily routine, just double the usual speed.

He jumped into his car and combed his hair in the rear view mirror, a cereal bar between his lips, stabbing frantically at the ignition with the keys with his other hand. When he finally got them in, he turned them and set the car into drive – but something in the distance caught his eye. Tearing open the wrapper with his teeth and taking a bite from the only breakfast he could really consume at this time, and began to drive forwards, eyes still on the figure in the distance. As he got closer, he realised who this person was, with his scruffy red hair and yellow hoody. He seemed tired and lost, his body slouched over, his eyes cast down at his feet as he slowly mad his way down his street. Filled with more concern for his dates friend rather than his job, he slowed down beside him and rolled down his window.

Momo bent down, and a small smile brightened his oddly sad expression. "Rei! What are you doing here?"

Rei cleared his throat. "This is where I live."

Momo looked around. "Really?" he stood up straight, taking a good look around. "Man," he breathed, stooping down again. "You must be loaded."

"Well," he muttered, adjusting his glasses. "Money's not too bad, I suppose."

Momo nodded. "I can tell!" he grinned – then he frowned. "Why'd you stop me, anyway?"

"You looked lost. I wanted to know if you were OK. Maybe you would like a lift home?" he offered, hand on the wheel. "I'm driving past your place, anyway."

Momo blinked, stunned. "If that's OK with you." he said softly, and Rei nodded with a smile.

"Hop in. I'm late for work, anyway." Rei sighed, looking at his watch.

Momo shrugged, walked around the car and slipped into the passenger seat. "Wow – that's really cool of you."

Rei shrugged. "Don't mention it. I suppose I could call you an acquaintance. I mean, we're not strangers." he said, beginning to drive.

Momo furrowed his brow. "I suppose. I thought you would be more like; 'any friend of Nagisa's is a friend of mine', but I suppose you're not there yet, huh?" he said softly, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Rei nudged his glasses up his nose. "I'd say your supposing was correct. We've only been on two dates. And yesterdays date was cut short because of a phone call. Oh! That reminds me – How is your friend? Is he OK?"

Momo felt his heart ache a little. He scratched his cheek somewhat awkwardly. "I uh... I'm not sure on how to reply to that..." he muttered, dropping his hand in his lap and pressing down on his palm with his thumb. "He's... He's not... He's not good. He's actually... Kind of _bad_."

Rei raised his eyebrows. "Well, his mother did pass away, I wouldn't expect him to be OK."

Momo twiddled his thumbs. "He's... He had a breakdown, last night. That's where I was walking from. I was walking from the hospital."  
Rei silenced, eyes staring straight ahead. The word _breakdown_ triggered a memory he did not need to reminisce. A shaky sigh left his lungs. "I-I'm sorry to hear that."  
Momo shrugged a little. "It's OK. He's... He's stable, I suppose. I guess... I guess it just comes down to who can handle what in these kinds of situations, you know?"

Rei nodded, eyes flicking from him to the road. "I understand."

* * *

His boss was not impressed when he arrived an hour late, but Rei explained he had to pick up a friend at the hospital – which was not a lie, but neither was it the truth. He got let off on a warning. The warning being if he did it again, he would get fired. Just like usual, he finished his paperwork in an hour or so and sat at his desk, which was outside the woman's office, who he worked for. She was a very nice lady, smart, sharp, gave him little to nothing work but always had a client. It was Rei's job as her assistant to answer their calls, invite them in, and let them know when she was ready. Of course, every Wednesday and Thursday afternoons he attended the local university to take lectures and study for his finals, but other than that, he was usually at the offices, doing nothing. The clients often complimented how polite and efficient Rei was, which he appreciated, but never really took to heart. He has always believed he can be more efficient or polite or kind. The only words of his fathers that he believed were 'there's always room for improvement'. He was completely right, of course. How has he ran a company for so many years? By improving it, of course. His father had offered him a position in his company, but Rei declined. He could not be who he wanted with his father breathing down his neck twenty-four seven. He had to go to college. He had to _escape. _That's how he, Rin and Sousuke became good friends, he'd always supposed. They all wanted to _escape _from something. Be free from the ties of High School friends and family feuds, be able to become their own person, which the three of them decided that's what they were. Their own person.

Rei was almost falling asleep at his desk when the phone rang, shaking him out of his dream so he would answer the phone.

"Hello, Miss. Greene's assistant speaking, how may I help you?" he had to stifle a yawn, so he sounded like the most unenthusiastic person in the world.

"I need to find a Mr. Ryuugazaki?" a smooth, woman's voice asked.

Rei blinked, fiddling with his glasses. "I-I-I, uh... Speaking?"

"Hello, sir. We would like to ask you a few questions about your work?"

Rei furrowed his brow, glancing over at the office, then back down at his desk. "I'm sorry, but that's not possible. I have to keep this line open for clients."

"I understand. Could you give me any of your contact details? Like your email address, perhaps?"

Rei let a slow, exasperated sigh slip through his lips. "No. Thank you for calling. Goodbye."

He hung up abruptly, collapsing back into his chair. People called him unexpectedly like that quite a few times. It was annoying, to say the least, but how did they get this number? How did they know his name? He'd always asked to trace the calls, but nobody had really took notice of the number and just said 'wasn't it just another client?', which of course was not true. Rei checked his watch. It was almost one PM. Figuring that he had nothing to do, he told his boss he was going on his break, which she just waved off with the back of her hand. "Of course, my dear." she'd muttered, typing something up. "You've _just _reminded me that I need a break too."

Before he left, she sent him on a coffee run. He didn't mind this, she was a hard working woman, and never really got time for herself. He stirred her cappuccino with a little stirrer as he walked back, not really looking where he was going, too lost in his own thoughts. So, when someone walked out of the elevator and smacked into him, Rei almost spilt this coffee all over someone's very expensive suit.

"Oh, wow, I'm so sorry," the guy said, grabbing the cup before it spilt all down his front. "I didn't see you there."  
Rei smiled, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Ah, it's no problem, really." he sighed, looking up at him. "It's my fault. I should have looked where I was going."

The guy cleared his throat. "No, it was my fault."

Rei looked back down at the coffee and noticed the guy's hands were on top of his own as he supported the coffee from spilling any more, and he turned slightly pink. "I... Uh..."

The man removed his hands. "Ha ha, sorry!" he grinned, hand on the back of his neck.

Rei watched his steady blue eyes, smiling slightly. "No problem. Do you need any help?"  
It was his turn to go slightly pink. "Um... Well, I guess... I need to find Miss. Greene."

Rei's smile widened. "Well, good thing we ran into each other! I'm her assistant. I'll take you."

They walked in step with each other, the two of them silent as they made their way down seemingly endless corridors.

"How long have you been working for her?" the man asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Rei hummed, finger to his lips. "Ever since I left college, really. So... almost two years."

The guy raised his eyebrows. "Wow. How old are you?"

"Twenty-three." he sighed. "Just turned, actually. Most of my friends are older than me though."

The man grinned. "I thought you were like, eighteen, or something."

Rei sniggered. "No way, I'm not a teenager any more. Unfortunately." he smiled up at him. "Anyway, what about you? You're asking me all these questions."

The man shrugged. "I'm twenty-eight. I run a business."

Rei smirked. "Mister Big Man, right?"

The guy chuckled. "No way. My brother does all the difficult stuff. I just sit there and look pretty."

Rei tutted. "I bet you do."

He guided him into a smaller corridor, and right at the end was Miss. Greene's office. Rei knocked on the door and entered with a smile. "I have your coffee, and a client."

Miss. Greene looked up from her computer and smiled sweetly at Rei. "You look like a darling today. Has anyone told you that?"

Rei stared at her as if she were mad. "I do?" he pulled at his flannel. "I've had this for years."

Miss. Greene accepted her coffee with a thank you. "You do! Don't you agree, Mr. Johnson?"

The man, now known as Mr. Johnson, smiled. "I think you do."

Rei blushed furiously, adjusting his glasses yet again. "Well, I'm off to lunch, I'll see you in an hour."

He escaped from that awful situation in a heartbeat, grabbing his bag and coat and making a run for it, down the stairs and out of the stuffy building.

* * *

Nagisa was still asleep in Ai's bed when the intercom started beeping, and when no one went to answer it so he could just drop off into a deep sleep again, he groaned loudly, rolled out of bed, and plodded towards the door, feet falling heavily.

"Hello?" he mumbled, rubbing his eye.

"Hello, Nagisa!"

Nagisa widened his eyes, stunned. "Rei?"

"Yeah! It's me! I've come to cheer you up. Momo told me about what happened last night. I thought you might need some company, seeing as he's at work."  
Nagisa felt like crying again, his bottom lip trembling. "Really?"

"Of course! That's why I'm here!" he said cheerfully. "I also have food."

Nagisa couldn't help but laugh a little. "OK. Come on up. I look a state, by the way."

"You can't look like a prince all the time, Nagisa."

Nagisa tried to make himself look presentable nonetheless, washing his face and changing into fresh clothes, which were basically just pyjama's, but how would he know that? Rei knocked on the door as he was just trying to tame his bed head, but he gave up on this pretty quickly. There was no way he could untangle his curls. He pulled open the front door and slowly looked up at Rei, taking in his sensible work clothes underneath a black pea coat, a tartan scarf wrapped around his neck, and that pretty little smile he always wore when he was greeting him, eyes bright behind his glasses, cheeks pink. "Good afternoon, sleepyhead." he ran a hand over his curls. "Nice bed hair."

Nagisa blushed, covering his nose with his sleeve as he lowered his eyes. "I just woke up."

Rei laughed lightly. "As I can tell." he held out a plastic bag towards him. "Here. Lunch, for us."

Nagisa plucked it out of his hands and took a look inside. "Ooh! Strawberries!" he rooted around sorting through boxes of sushi and fruit, candy bars and chips and other little things. "Wow! You bought all this for us?"

"Judging by how much you consumed on our date I figured you could manage all this." Rei smiled. "And I bought the strawberries just for you."

Nagisa grinned up at him. "I can't believe you."

Rei furrowed his brow. "Why?" he crossed his arms over his chest. "I couldn't let you go hungry."

Nagisa wanted to kiss him so much right then and there – just throw his arms around him and smooch his stupid, beautiful face – but he didn't, of course. He just smiled some more and invited him inside.

They sat crossed legged on Nagisa's living room floor, eating and chatting about their favourite things, as the subject somehow made its way into the conversation.

"What's your favourite ice-cream flavour?" Nagisa asked Rei, twisting the stalk off of the tiniest strawberry in the punnet, trying his hardest not to pull out the fruit with it.

"Hmm... I'm not a fan." Rei said, eyes wandering. "But, if I had to eat it, probably vanilla."

Nagisa raised an eyebrow at him. "That's so boring, Rei."

Rei lifted the corner of his mouth slightly. "What do you expect?"

"I don't know!" Nagisa laughed. "You don't like chocolate?"

Rei shook his head. "Not really."

Nagisa pouted. "Caramel? Banana? Pistachio? Fudge?" he tried, and after each one Rei shook his head again.

"I'm not a fan!" he laughed as Nagisa sighed. "I said it before!"

Nagisa popped a strawberry into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "So... what do you like?"

Rei began to peel a banana, thinking about it. "I suppose I like all of the boring things. Like vegetable ramen and salmon sushi... My mom makes those sort of things best, though."

Nagisa furrowed his brow. "What's ramen?"

Rei adjusted his glasses, breaking the banana in half. "It's like noodles. It's traditionally from Japan, but it's everywhere now."

Nagisa tilted his head slightly, taking in his appearance. "Hmm... What nationality are your parents?" he asked, eyes scanning his butterscotch skin and angular features.

"Oh! Well, my mother is Hispanic, and my father is half Japanese. That's why my name is so odd." he smiled, taking a bite of the fruit.

"Ryuugazaki is unusual." Nagisa mumbled through another strawberry, still staring at him. "I bet your mom is really pretty."

Rei blushed slightly. "I think so. What makes you say that?"

Nagisa smiled sweetly. "Well, you're really pretty, so your looks must have come from somewhere. Unless your Dad is good looking."

Rei laughed lightly, nudging his glasses over his eyes again. "Well, thank you. My brother looks more like my father, unfortunately."

Nagisa remembered the picture hanging above his computer. "I don't know – your brother's pretty cute too." he grinned, supporting his head with his hand.

Rei smiled slightly. "I suppose we do look a little alike." he said lightly, and Nagisa laughed.

"Me and my sisters look nothing like each other at all." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I mean, my two older sisters have a different dad to me and my younger sister... So I suppose that had a lot to do with it."

Rei raised an eyebrow. "You have two half sisters?"

Nagisa nodded with a smile. "The oldest is the same age as your brother I think. She's a lecturer at a University. And the second oldest is a vet. I am a stripper, and my youngest sister is studying abroad." he shrugged with a smirk. "Guess who the runt of the litter was."

Rei's expression softened. "I don't think you're a runt." he smiled at Nagisa's amused expression. "I don't know, the runts are always the loveliest."  
Nagisa laughed loudly. "Thank you. I feel great now." he chuckled, shaking his head.

"If it makes you feel any better, my brother is apparently a Gods gift beside me." Rei sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "My mother insists it's because he took the job my father offered him whilst I didn't, but I _know _it's because he's straight with a wife and kids whilst I turned out to be the homosexual loser out of the two of us."

Nagisa blinked, stunned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I was about fourteen when I came to terms about who I was. You know, I finally realised that I was gay and there was nothing I could do about it," he began, stretching out his legs and folding the banana skin over. "The first person I came out to was my brother. He was twenty-two by this time so I could tell him anything in confidence, because I knew he wouldn't tell anyone else, other than his wife, which I didn't mind, because I'd always liked her in some ways.

"He was supportive of me, but he told me that I had to tell my mother, but of course I was nervous, as anyone is. And she would tell my father, and that was the one thing I was truly terrified of. But I took his advice and about a week later I told my mother that I was gay. She was proud of me, she truly was. She hugged me and told me that I was the same no matter who I was, and I don't know, but that was great comfort for me.

"Then I had to come out to my father. He came home from work, and we all sat around the table for dinner. I remember he was in a weirdly happy mood, because something great had happened to the business. So, I thought this was a good opportunity to tell him."  
Nagisa watched him intently, gazing into his eyes, which were glossed over in memory. Nagisa could remember his coming out story like it had happened yesterday, but something told him that could wait for another day. It was more comedic, than anything else.

"So, I did. I sat up straight, stood my ground, and said 'Dad, I'm gay'. And do you know what he did?"  
Nagisa shook his head, lifting his head.

"He laughed. He laughed in my face and said I was being ridiculous. He told me that I was confused. He told me it was a phase, then he continued to laugh in my face. My mother did nothing, of course, how could she? She couldn't side with my father, but she lacks the courage to stand up to him. So I just sat there, feeling humiliated."

Nagisa blinked, eyes stinging. "Oh, Rei..." he said softly.

Rei shrugged. "That wasn't even the worst thing. When I was seventeen, I got my first boyfriend. I don't know how, I was so shaken by my father constantly telling me my sexuality was wrong and that I was still 'just confused', but that doesn't matter. Anyway, he came over mine one night. We were working together on a project of some kind, and my mother was so happy to meet him.

"We went to my room, we started to work, we started to get distracted, etcetera. My father came home at the usual time, but of course we didn't hear him. I was too engrossed in the fact that I was actually kissing someone who liked me back, you know?

"Anyway, my mother obviously told him I was up in my room with a friend, so he came upstairs to see what we were doing."  
Nagisa shook his head. "He didn't catch you, did he?"

Rei pulled his mouth into a straight line. "What do you think?"

Nagisa pulled his knees to his chest. "That's awful..." he breathed.

"Well, after he caught us, he threw my boyfriend out and told him to never come back because he was 'harming me' or something, I can't remember whatever ridiculous thing that left his mouth. And then he hit me."

Nagisa gasped, eyes wide. "He... he what?"

Rei bit down on his lip. "He hit me. Twice. He gave me a black eye, so I couldn't go to school for a week, because he didn't want the school knowing about 'my problem'. My mother had cried and told me it was all he fault, but of course it wasn't."

Nagisa couldn't believe what he was hearing. His own father beat him because he was kissing another boy? He didn't understand, he couldn't get his head around it. Why would someone do that to their kid? Why would you even hit someone, anyway? What was wrong with him?

"It wasn't the last time, either. He continued to discriminate against me until I left for college, where I could be who I wanted for the first time in four years." he let out a long, winded breath. "But that's all in the past. I think my father and I are still on shaky terms, but hopefully it will get better."

Nagisa stared at him. He thought he was _mad_. Why would you want to stay friendly with someone who beat you up? Why would you want to keep in touch with someone who called your sexuality a 'problem'? Why, why, why?

"Rei..." Nagisa said gently. "Your dad sounds like a piece of shit."

Rei laughed lightly. "Yes, well, I know. But if I'm not friendly with him, who knows what could happen to me?"

Nagisa lowered his eyes. What did he mean? Was his father out to get him? Was he just going to hurt him for the rest of his life? Was Rei just going to take whatever got sent his way? He looked over at Rei, who'd stared off into space, fingers drumming against his forearm.

_Don't worry, Rei_, he thought, pulling his knees closer to his chest. _I'll keep you safe, no matter what._

* * *

I hope you enjoyed! Again, I apologise for any grammatical errors!


	4. Nightmares

I'm so glad people are enjoying this! Thank you so much for baring with me!

TW: non-consensual touching

Happy reading!

* * *

When Rei returned to work that afternoon, there was a note left on his desk. Curious, he unfolded the notepaper and read it through.  
'_Mr. Ryuugazaki,  
I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable. How about I take you out to make up for it? Here's my number. Call me.  
Joel Johnson.'_  
Rei blushed furiously, staring at the words until they were burnt into the back of his head. That business man wanted to take him out? On a date? But why? Rei furrowed his brow. Well, what should he do now? He's never had two people wanting him before. He wasn't used to this kind of thing. Can you see other people if you're just dating? Wouldn't it hurt the other person? Rei sat in his chair and went to pick up the phone, but stopped himself. What was he going to do? Accept? Tell him to fuck off? What if it didn't work out with Nagisa? It wouldn't hurt to be seeing two people, right? Rei nibbled his lip, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

***  
_**Rei:**__ is it moral to date two people at the same time?  
__**Sousuke:**__ what? why? have you gotten a better offer?  
__**Rei:**__ I wouldn't call it a better offer.  
__**Sousuke:**__ is he good looking?  
__**Rei:**__ I suppose. He's five years older than me and runs a business with his brother.  
__**Sousuke:**__ wtf man get in there what are you doing asking questions?  
__**Rei:**__ well, I just wanted to make sure. I mean, wouldn't I be hurting Nagisa's feelings?  
__**Sousuke:**__ ... Well you're not exclusive yet right?  
__**Rei:**__ not yet, no.  
__**Sousuke:**__ then go out with him._

_**Rei:**__ Is it moral to date two people at the same time?_

_**Rin: **__I dunno I do it all the time  
__**Rei:**__ since when?  
__**Rin:**__ since always where have you been  
__**Rei:**__ sorry, I didn't know it was compulsory to know who you've been out with and when.  
__**Rin:**__ wow there's no need to be rude  
__**Rei:**__ You're the one being rude!  
__**Rin:**__ am I?  
__**Rei:**__ yes!  
__**Rin:**__ sorry I didn't know I was the dating expert  
__**Rei:**__ you're hopeless.  
__**Rin:**__ wtf man you asked for my opinion and I gave you one  
__**Rei:**__ 'I dunno' doesn't count as an opinion.  
__**Rin:**__ Rei I hate you sometimes_

_**Rei:**__ is it moral to date two people at the same time?  
__**Haru: **__well it really depends on who they are. Do you like them?  
__**Rei:**__ I've been out with one guy three times, and the other I've only just met today.  
__**Haru:**__ huh.  
__**Rei:**__ ?  
__**Haru:**__ why do you need to date two guys?  
__**Rei:**__ I don't, I'm just asking for your opinion.  
__**Haru:**__ are they both worth your time?  
__**Rei:**__ um, I guess?  
__**Haru:**__ never waste time with someone you don't like.  
__**Rei:**__ fucking hell, you're all useless. I give up._

Ignoring all of his friends opinions and their 'help', he decided to call him, just to tell him he was seeing someone else.

"Hello?" Joel answered, and Rei could hear a bustling of people in the background.

"Hi. Um, it's Rei. Rei Ryuugazaki?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course. I see you found my number."

"I did... I'm sorry, Joel, but I have to decline your offer." Rei said softly, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Oh? Why's that?" he sounded genuinely disappointed.

"I... I have a boyfriend." he lied, biting down on his lip.

"That's all right. No problem." Joel laughed nervously. "Maybe next time."

Rei cleared his throat. "Yes, maybe. Well, thank you, anyway."

"Not at all. See you, Rei."

* * *

Nagisa had called Ai on his cell that night, checking up on him, as he couldn't visit the hospital until tomorrow, when Momo was home.

"Nagisa, I'm fine." Ai reassured, his voice soft and sad. "They've put me on medication. It's making me really sleepy, but other than that, I'm OK."

Nagisa breathed out slowly, slightly relieved. "I'm so glad. Oh, Ai, you scared the living crap out of me and Mo. What were you thinking?"

Ai sniffed. "I don't know. I-I don't really..." he stammered, rubbing the back of his head.  
Nagisa smiled sadly. "It's OK. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Nagisa yawned, stretching out his back. "I'm just glad you're OK."

Ai explained that he should be out in a few days, once the nurses are sure his condition is stable. This made Nagisa extremely happy, so glad that his friend was going to be OK.

"It's so weird not having you here... It's too quiet. But Rei came over this afternoon on his lunch break. He wanted to keep me company." he blushed happily, pulling his knees to his chest. "He sends you his condolences."

Ai smiled slightly. "Tell him I said thank you. It means a lot."

Nagisa sighed sadly. "I am worried about him, though."

"Why?" Ai quizzed.

Nagisa retold him the story of Rei's father, cutting out unnecessary information, and when he'd finished, Ai didn't know what to say.

"Gosh. Why does he still want anything to do with him?" Ai breathed.

Nagisa shrugged, defeated. "God knows. Hopefully he'll be OK, though... He's too sweet to be sad. As are you! I need you to be happy again, Ai! It's not the same if you aren't!"  
Ai smiled sadly. "I know. I'll try my hardest to get better, Nagisa... Just like you did for me."

Nagisa lowered his eyes, staring at his bare feet. "Yeah." he said softly, smiling a little. "Just like I did for you."

* * *

Rei received a message off every friend he'd asked for advice off that night.

_**Sousuke**_**: **_You got to choose between a stripper or a rich business man, and you went for the stripper._

_**Rin:**__ God fucking dammit rei stop asking for my opinion if youre going to do your own thing anyway_

_**Haru**__: Makoto thinks your mad. So do I, what the fuck, Rei? A stripper? _

Rei ignored them all. He knew he'd made the right choice. He knew he'd met the right person. He knew he could trust this hot blonde stripper was the one he was meant to be with, not Joel.

Right?

Sighing deeply, he began to get changed, his work clothes suddenly feeling tight and uncomfortable on his body. As he undid the buttons on his shirt, his eyes settled on his torso, which was muscular, his skin taut across his stomach muscles. He ran his fingertips over the long scar that sat from the centre of his chest to his naval, shocking white against his caramel skin. He shrugged off his shirt and bunged it into his washing basket, not wanting to look at it any longer. He pulled open his closet door and dug around for a t-shirt to wear, and as he was about to pull one over his body, he caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror behind his closet door. He bunched the t-shirt up in his hands and stared at his naked upper-body, not really understanding why he hated it so much. He took in the stretch marks on his stomach and hips, the long, white scar, the dark freckles on his shoulders, everything. He wondered how Nagisa did it. How he could just get naked in front of thousands of strangers everyday without a care in the world, and yet he could not take his shirt off in front of himself without getting embarrassed. He slipped off his glasses and squinted at his reflection. He was just a blur, a fuzzy being with midnight blue hair and a t-shirt hanging by his side. He pulled on his t-shirt and pushed his glasses back on over his nose with a sigh. It amazed him how he still wasn't a virgin, the way he was going on. A distant shrill of his land line forced him to look away from himself and walk out of the room, his mind slowly wondering to who the caller could be.

"Hello?" he answered cautiously, not used to receiving calls on his home phone.

"Rei! Hi! Are you busy tomorrow night?"

It was Liberty, his brothers wife. Rei blinked. "Uh, well, not really, I mean, I have some work to catch up on-"

"That's great! Could you babysit Gracie and Rosa for us? Your mother was busy."

Rei smiled. "Of course I can, that's no problem."

"OK! Wow, good! I'm so glad, I thought we had to cancel! OK, come over ours at around five tomorrow, we'll be gone only for a few hours."

Rei hung up after details were swapped, and he breathed out. He'd babysat his nieces once before, when Rosa was a baby and Gracie was a grumpy six-year-old girl, and neither of them would stop crying for four hours straight. When one stopped, the other started, and Rei had no idea what he had to do. It was not how he'd expected to spend his Christmas vacation from college, that was for sure. He lowered himself down into his armchair and picked up _War and Peace_. For some reason, he'd put it on his 'Bucket List' when he was fifteen, and when he finally got around to buying a copy, it had taken him exactly five years to get halfway through the book. It was interesting, but not interesting enough to get through in one sitting. He figured if he didn't finish it, though, he'd only be disappointing his past self, so he opened the book and got reading.

* * *

Nagisa could not contain himself when he walked into Ai's hospital room – he was so happy to see him.

"Ai! Ai, Ai, Ai!" he cried, jumping onto his bed and winding his arms tightly around his shoulders. "I miss you so so much!"

Ai returned his friends bone crushing hug, clinging to the back of his shirt, nose buried in the nape of his neck. "I miss you too, Nagisa."

Nagisa pulled away after a couple of seconds of squeezing the life out of him, so glad that he was still here, so glad he was found when and how he was, so glad that Momo was brave enough to call for an ambulance. If he was on his own, who knew where Ai could have been by now? He grinned at his best friend, eyes watching his. "How are you? Feeling better?"

Ai nodded. "I am. My sister came to visit me this morning and we made some funeral plans. The doctors said I wouldn't be up to it, but you know, I was OK. Because my mom is happier now. She isn't in pain, like she was for so long. She's free." he smiled sadly, eyes misting over. "I still miss her, though."

Nagisa nodded. "I know, I know. But we're here to keep your mind of things for a while! Momo's buying us some drinks." he explained, opening up his messenger bag and digging around inside.

Ai looked over his shoulder. "What are you looking for?"

Nagisa frowned, still unable to find the item. "Uh... Ah!" his fingers scrabbled at pages, and he pulled out a book. "Here! You haven't finished it yet, have you?"

Ai shook his head, accepting the book from Nagisa's grip and letting a small smile lift the corners of his mouth. "Thank you." he grinned, holding the book close to his chest. "I'll finish it tonight."

Nagisa got comfy beside Ai, slipping into bed with him, as Ai had told him his nurses wouldn't mind, and he was freezing cold anyway.

"Has Momo told you what happened at work last night?" Nagisa asked, pulling the sheet over his legs.

Ai shook his head, shuffling over a little. "Not at all."

His blonde friend started to babble about how a fight broke out between the bartender and one of the pole dancers because apparently he'd tried to steal from him. The pole dancer would have gotten fired if the bartender hadn't punched him so hard in the face, so the bartender got the sack instead.

"Good riddance." Ai said softly, rubbing his ice cold nose. "He was a slimy piece of work. Remember when he tried it on with me?" he shuddered, and Nagisa laughed.

"Oh, God, yeah! But then Momo came to your rescue. There's been a lot of times when he's saved your ass." he smiled slightly, crossing his arms. "Hey, Ai... Do you think Momo has a thing for you?"

Ai blushed furiously, his chilled blood heating up. "Don't be so ridiculous!" he breathed, pulling his sheets up to his chest. "How could he?"

Nagisa shrugged. "Isn't he like... Bi, or something?"

Ai sighed deeply. "Pansexual, actually." he mumbled, tired of correcting people.

Nagisa elbowed him gently. "Is he really?" he couldn't help but grin. "You would know."  
Ai slapped him feebly on the arm, making Nagisa laugh again. "Shut up, Nagisa!" he cried.

"No way, maybe _you're _the one with a crush!" he chortled, elbowing him again.

Ai threatened to push him out of the bed, so he shut up after he got a few more laughs, a knowing smirk on his face for the rest of the afternoon. Momo appeared behind a nurse, a sheepish grin on his face as she fussed over Ai.

"I got lost." he smiled at Nagisa, handing him a bottle of juice. "Why are you in bed with him?"

Nagisa twisted off the cap off his bottle. "Why?" he took a small sip, not looking him in the eye. "Jealous?"

Momo laughed lightly as Ai was about to lash out on Nagisa. "I'm not, but Rei might be."

Nagisa stuck out his tongue. "It's not like he's going to walk in here, is he?" he mumbled into his bottle, taking another sip.

"I could always take a picture and send it to him," Momo grinned, pulling out his phone.

Nagisa went to swipe it out of his hands, but Momo dodged him neatly, laughing. "Come on, I'm sure he wouldn't take it the wrong way."  
Nagisa frowned at him. He knew what he was doing. He was trying to get him out of bed so he could sit there, just to spite him. Momo was like that. He would always, somehow, get what he wanted out of Nagisa. But, then again, Nagisa was exactly the same. He could easily manipulate somebody to do as he asked, and he has had many women and men alike wrapped tightly around his little finger. But Momo was different. He would not submit to Nagisa's crafty little ways. He'd always been a tough nut to crack. The two of them snapped at each other bitterly whilst the nurse made sure Ai was comfortable and set his pills in the palm of his hand, which he swallowed right off the bat, chasing them down with ice cold water, wincing as he felt them crawl down his throat.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Sorry about my friends."

The nurse smiled kindly. "It's no problem. The taller one was very worried about you. What's his name, now? Momo, is it?"

Ai nodded, smiling a little. "He's always worried about me, he's kind of like my big brother, really. Even though he's younger than me."

The nurse smiled kindly. "That's sweet. Well, I'll leave you to it. As soon as you feel tired, kick them out of here. They are a bit noisy."

Nagisa ended up on the chair because he was afraid that Momo would tell Rei another incredibly embarrassing story about him, and Momo ended up cuddling up to Ai. The two of them talked about work, whilst Ai talked about how boring it was on his own in the hospital. Eventually, though, Ai slowly began to tire, his medication kicking in, and before he could stop himself, he'd fallen into a deep sleep.

"He's fallen asleep sitting up." Nagisa giggled.

Momo looked over at him with a grin. "What should we do?"

Nagisa stood and took hold of Ai's shoulders, tilting them forward until his head was resting in the crook of Momo's neck. "How's that?"

"I don't want him! He's a drooler!" Momo hissed, recoiling.

"Says you! You're disgusting!" Nagisa snapped, still holding Ai by the shoulder.

"At least I don't snore!" Momo retaliated.

Nagisa let go of Ai as he reached over to hit Momo, but as he did this, Ai slowly fell from Momo's shoulder, down his chest, and into his lap. Momo blushed furiously, raising his hands. "Nagisa!"

Nagisa laughed, clamping his mouth shut with his hands as to not wake his snoozing friend. "What do you want me to do?" he chortled, biting down on the inside of his cheeks to stop himself laughing. "Don't you want him there?"

Momo went dark red, making Nagisa double up. "No, no, Nagisa, just _move him_!" he hissed, curling his hands up into fists.

Nagisa did as he was told, still silently laughing to himself. "OK, get up, so I can get him into bed." he breathed.

Momo hopped out of bed, letting the blonde settle their friend down comfortably, pulling the sheets over his shoulders and edging both pillows beneath his head.

"OK," Nagisa said softly, pulling his notebook out of his bag and writing Ai a note. "How... Is... this?"

Momo snatched it out of his hands.

'_Ai we had to leave becus you fell asleep, hope you get well soon! We miss you lots! Nagi n Mo xxx'_

"You spelt 'because' wrong." Momo sighed. "Should I do it for you?"

Nagisa blushed, shaking his head. "No, he won't mind. He knows I can't spell, anyway."

Momo nodded, and left the note tucked beneath his book, ready for him to read whenever he decided to wake up.

* * *

Nagisa walked home alone that night, Momo once again having to go to work, and because he took all the shifts last week, he wasn't on until Thursday night. It was a crisp evening, and the wind was bitter as it hit the bare skin of his neck and cheeks. He remembered the scarf Rei was wearing yesterday, the cute red tartan one, that was wound tightly around his neck and covered his chin, and he figured he needed to buy one for himself as the wind whistled harshly, causing him to bring his jacket collar up over his ears, trying as best he could to block out the up and coming winter. He pulled out his phone to check the time. Nine PM. Not too bad, but it was still pretty dark. He started to text Rei, wondering if he was still awake, turning into the alleyway which he walked through everyday to get home. His attention was focused so much on his spelling, he was almost sent flying when he walked straight into a rock solid body.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" he breathed, surprised. "I didn't see you there." He raised his eyes from his phone to see a large man, much, much taller than him, with broad shoulders and a stocky build. He wasn't Rei tall, who was the perfect height for him, just enough to make him feel protected – no, this guy was huge, towering over him like some giant. Nagisa shoved his hand in his jacket pocket, fingers brushing against his apartment keys.

"Oh, well, it's no matter," he smiled. Something about it was not to be trusted. "Accidents happen."

Nagisa nodded, a slow, uneasy feeling crawling underneath his skin. "Yeah. Uh, excuse me, I have somewhere to be." he said softly, side-stepping him and trying his hardest to avoid the colossal being - but a hand grabbed his wrist, quick as a flash, so fast that Nagisa had no time to react.

"Why the rush?" he said, that smile still present, something twisted and sinister behind it. "It can't be that important. Why not stay?"

Nagisa tried to pull away, but he had an iron grip, clamping down on his arm like shackles. "Please, let me go." Nagisa said - but it wasn't firm. It was polite. It lacked persistence, lacked force. He couldn't muster up the courage to yell at him or be rude. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to run to run - _run, run, run away, get away from this stranger, get somewhere safe, somewhere where he can't get to you! Hide for Gods sake!_ - but his mouth would not work that way, his feet were frozen to the spot. He could not fight back.

"Why would I do that? Let this pretty thing get away from me, huh?" his sickening smile turned into a sneer, and in that moment Nagisa felt fear like he'd never felt it before.

"Just let me _go_." Nagisa begged, more forceful this time, struggling against his grip. "_Please_!"

The man pushed him against the wall with such power it winded him, a pain shooting up his spine. "Nothing's gonna hear you." he muttered into his ear, twisting his wrist behind his backand holding it against the wall. "So, don't try and scream."

Nagisa turned his face away as the man tried to kiss him, his breath hot and disgusting against the cold of Nagisa's cheek. He tried with all his might to push him off, but to no avail, his body too heavy, his arms too weak.

The man grabbed his other wrist, jerking it out of his pocket, laughing as Nagisa's keys flung out of his hand and went flying into the darkness of the alley, no where to be seen. "Gonna try and stab me, huh? Get away from me?" He started to dig his nails into his skin. "It never works, pretty boy."

Nagisa, once again, tried to fight back, but the man pressed him against the wall, slowly crushing him, his chest swelling up so he couldn't breathe, feeling dirty as the mans clammy hands moved from his wrist and started to tear at his clothes.

"Help me!" he cried somewhat pathetically, but it was something. "Help!"

The man clamped his mouth shut. "What did I say? Nothing's gonna hear you." he hissed, his hand getting even tighter around his wrist.

Nagisa felt tears dribble down his cheeks as he moved his hand from his face and continued pull at his jeans. Nagisa remembered that his hand was free. He remembered his phone in his pocket. He remembered how hard it was, how sharp the corners could be. Although his wrist screamed out in pain as he searched his jacket pocket, trying to escape was better than not at all. He grabbed his phone, whipped it out of his pocket, and smacked the corner of his phone against the side of his head with such force the screen cracked. The guy cried out in pain, moving his hand from Nagisa's pants to his head. "What the fuck?"

Without hesitation, Nagisa swung his knee up and gave him a swift kick in the nuts, as hard as he could. The man stumbled backwards, letting go of Nagisa completely as he nursed his crotch with both hands. Nagisa dashed out of the alley in a heartbeat, wrists and back in awful pain, tears streaming down his face, keys in the alleyway, phone broken and no where to go - but he managed to escape. He managed to get away from that horrible man in the alley.

* * *

Rei was dropping off in his chair when the intercom buzzed. Puzzled, he set his book down on the coffee table and answered the call.

"Hello?" he yawned, fixing his glasses.

"Rei, Rei, please let me in."

Rei blinked, shocked. "Nagisa?" he shook his head. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Oh, fuck, I-I-I think he's after me, just let me in! Please, Rei!"

Shocked, scared and still very confused, Rei did as he was told, buzzing him in as quick as he could. In less than a minute there was a fast rapping at his door, and Rei swung it open to reveal a breathless, tear-sodden Nagisa, who was ghostly white and looked as if he was going to faint. Before Rei could ask what had happened, Nagisa's eyes closed and he fell forwards, Rei catching him before he could land flat on his face, supporting him with his strong arms. "Whoa, all right, I got you." he reassured, watching as Nagisa's eyes fluttered open, a fuzzy feeling taking over Nagisa's brain and mixing up his thoughts, his vision slowly going from black to grey to colour again, his eyes settling on the black cotton of Rei's shirt and the cream paint in his hallway.

"You all right, now?" Rei asked gently, looking down at him.

Nagisa shook his head, bursting into tears. "My wrists and back and head hurts and I want to go home but I can't and Momo's gonna be mad at me because I lost my keys and Ai's gonna be mad at me because I didn't catch the bus home a-a-and I'm such an idiot, Rei!" he babbled through his tears, hiding his face in Rei's chest and sobbing his little heart out.

Rei lay a hand on top of his head, running the palm of his hand over his soft blonde locks. "Of course you aren't. What happened? Who was after you?" he said as steadily as he could, trying to calm him down.

Nagisa snivelled, closing his eyes, tears spilling over his lashes. "A man stopped me in the street and he held me up against a wall, but I ran away." he mumbled, tightening his grip on Rei. "I hit him and kicked him and ran away."

Rei's blood was boiling. Why? Why would anybody do this? What was the reasoning behind assault and rape and anything non-consensual? He supposed if he understood this, he would be one of the people who did such a thing. Rei wanted to comfort him by telling him that nothing like that would happen again, and that he would keep him safe, but how did he know that? How did he know that that man, whoever the bastard was, would try and get him again? Anybody could get to him again. Especially with the job he had. "OK, OK. It's all right, Nagisa, you're here now. I'll take care of you." he said softly, pulling away from him and looking him in the eye, which were watery and glazed over with fear and pain. "Did he cause you any harm?"

Nagisa shrugged limply, letting his arms drop to his sides. "My wrists and back hurt. So does my head." he said softly, wiping his cheeks free of tears.

Rei ordered him to take off his jacket, and he did as he was told, slowly relaxing as the gentle, caring hands of someone he knew touched him so lovingly. His wrists had started to go a dark purple, red fingermarks turning into bruises.

"Shit," Rei breathed, stroking them gently. "Do they really hurt?"

Nagisa nodded with a sniff. "Mmm," he mumbled. "I think he sprained it."

"OK. OK." Rei had started to tremble himself, unsure on what to do. "W-we have to take you to the police."

Nagisa shook his head vigorously. "No, no, I can't, what if they don't believe me?" he breathed desperately, squeezing his hands into fists.

Rei pointed at the bruises forming on his wrists. "With these?"

Nagisa's bottom lip trembled. "I'm scared, Rei." he said, voice wavering. "What if he tries to find me?"

Rei shook his head. "He won't. He'll be too scared to. What did you do to get away?"

Nagisa pulled out his phone. "I hit him on the head with this."

Rei took the phone out of his hands and laughed shakily. "Wow, you bashed the screen up." he pressed the lock button, but it wouldn't turn on. "And you broke your phone completely."

Nagisa nodded, sniffing.

Rei pressed the device back into the palm of his trembling hand. "You're really brave, you know? I couldn't have done what you did."

Nagisa shook his head, but said nothing. He couldn't think of an argument. He didn't have one.

Rei sat Nagisa down on his sofa and took a peek at his back. His shoulder blades had started to turn blue, the bruises showing up beneath the dark red of the rose tattoos he had inked on his body. He desperately wanted to kiss them, needing to make him feel better, as if his lips would do the job, but he resisted. "We'll have to get you checked out at the hospital too, just in case." Rei said gently, rubbing his back comfortingly. "OK?"

Nagisa nodded, unable to speak just in case he burst into tears again. He was being so kind about this, so caring. He barely even knew him. "Thank you." Nagisa said softly, slowly standing and turning towards him. "For everything."

"It's all right. No need to thank me. I'm just looking out for you." Rei said gently, giving him a warm smile. "What more can I do?"

Nagisa couldn't help it, but he fell in love with him, right then and there. His pretty lips upturned into a smile he knew nobody else could summon, his violet eyes sparkling as he tried to stay positive, just for him. It wasn't a smack in the face or a twist in the gut, like he'd always believed the realisation of being in love would be. It was gentle, calming, almost going unnoticed as the new feeling settled over him like a warm blanket or a gentle embrace. Nagisa averted his eyes as he blushed, his heart swelling in his chest.

"I'm going to run you a bath, OK? Are you hungry?" Rei asked him, totally oblivious to Nagisa's sudden revelation. "Want anything to drink?"

Nagisa blinked. "I-I-I'm not hungry, but I would like something to drink." he said timidly, hugging himself tight.

"What would you like? Hot or cold? Oh, I have some herbal tea, that should calm you down, you're still shaking." Rei said gently, reaching out and squeezing his upper arm. "Relax. You're safe now."

Nagisa nodded, trying his best not to burst into tears again.

Rei ran Nagisa a piping hot bubble bath, which soothed his bruised wrists and back as he sank lower into the bubbles, a deep calm washing over him as the water enveloped him. He examined the bruises as they formed, hating that he had something to remind him of tonight for at least a week or so. He slowly slid underwater, holding his breath as his head was consumed by light pink bubbles that smelt like cherry blossoms and hot bath water, wondering what would happen if he never surfaced, wondering whether he would be selfish enough to do so – and then he came back up. He washed his hair with some expensive looking shampoo that smelt just how Rei did, scrubbed himself down with whatever shower gel he got his hands on first, and hopped out, not wanting to over-stay his welcome in the bath tub, although Rei did tell him to take as long as he needed. Rei had let him borrow some of his clothes, which were pretty massive on him. He tugged on the t-shirt and hoody, tried on the pyjama bottoms, realised they were too big, and just went without, tugging his underwear back on instead. He towelled his hair dry and walked out feeling fresher than he had done for ages. Rei blushed furiously when Nagisa walked into the kitchen, his clothes tucked under one arm, his other hand rubbing his eye sleepily, his damp hair curling around his cheeks and ears, cheeks flushed from his bath, looking like the cutest thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Were the bottoms too big?" he said lightly, shaking off the sudden feeling of affection with a small laugh. "I figured they would be."

"Can you wash my clothes? I mean, if it's not too much." Nagisa said shyly, tucking his hand in his pocket.

"Of course! It's nothing at all." Rei took the three items out of his hands and bunged them into his washing machine. "I'll just put some of my stuff in. Make yourself at home. I'll make your tea in a bit."

Nagisa watched him leave, his heart thudding hard in his chest. He just seemed to be getting more and more perfect as the night went on. Nagisa sat on the sofa in his lounge, pulling the polka-dot blanket that was thrown over the back of the sofa around his shoulders, snuggling into its soft wool. He raised his eyes to the clock that was hung above his TV. It read ten thirty, and something told Nagisa that this was a usual bedtime for someone, as the curtains were drawn up tight, the TV was off, the only light in the room coming from the lamp that loomed over the armchair in the corner of the room. Nagisa stared at the reflection of himself in the blank TV screen. He could clearly see the outline of his body, and the golden wisps of hair that had already dried and curled upwards. He flattened them down by running his fingers through his hair, shifting his bangs away from his face as he did so. He needed something to keep them in place, but he doubted that Rei had a hair band lying around. He let them flop back over his forehead with a sigh, looking into his lap and running his fingers over the long scar on his leg, another thing on his body he wish he could erase completely.

Rei walked back in with a pile of dark washing. "OK?" he asked, walking into the kitchen and squashing all his clothes into the washing machine.

"Yeah," he said softly, pulling the blanket tighter. "This is a weird question, but do you have a hair band, or something?"

Rei laughed. "Probably! My nieces leave all sorts of things here when they visit." he walked back into the lounge after switching on the washing machine, and opened a tiny pot that sat on his bookshelf.

"Here," he said, offering him the pot. "Take your pick."

It was full of tiny sparkly hair slides and heart berets and blue ribbons. Nagisa pulled out a pink hair tie with a little plastic bunny on it and tied back his bangs. "Out of ten how adorable do I look? Ten being absolutely." he beamed up at Rei, shifting the rabbit to the centre of the pigtail.

"I'd say you're about an eleven." Rei smiled slightly, shutting the pot up tight and setting it back in its space.

Nagisa blushed happily. "I knew it." he giggled sweetly.

Rei sat before him on the coffee table after grabbing some bandages out of his first-aid box, and took Nagisa's hand in his. "I'll wrap this up for you, in case it is sprained." he said gently, winding the clean white bandage around Nagisa's damaged wrists. "Just a precaution, you know." Nagisa nodded, watching as the bruises started to disappear.

"Thank you." Nagisa said once again, his voice soft. "You're my hero."

Rei blushed, adjusting his glasses. "Don't be silly. I couldn't possibly be. You saved yourself." he patted the clean bandage and started on his other wrist. "You're your own hero."

Nagisa giggled. "No way. I can't be my own hero. How does that even work?"

Rei thought about it whilst he bandaged his other wrist, and as he pinned it up, he smiled. "Well, you managed to save yourself, right? All heroes can do that." he looked up at him with a grin. "So that must mean something to you."

Nagisa furrowed his brow, thinking about it. His own hero? He'd never really _had _a hero before. He'd never looked up to anybody. Maybe his sister, but she didn't count as a hero, more like an idol, someone he wanted to grow up to be. He sighed. "Maybe." he mumbled, scratching his cheek. "Who's your hero, Rei?"

Rei wound the rest of the bandage around his hand, brow creased in the middle. "I don't know. It wouldn't be a family member, that's for sure. Maybe... Maybe... Hmm... I don't have one." he concluded, looking back up at Nagisa. "I guess I've just gotten by without one."  
Nagisa pouted. "That's sad. I've always thought my sister as a hero. Or an idol. I haven't decided." he examined both arms, holding them out in front of him and smiling. "I look like a thug."

Rei laughed. "Yes, the rabbit beret in your hair makes you look absolutely terrifying." he winked at him, standing and tidying the first-aid kit away.

Nagisa smiled, a pink blush dusting over his cheekbones. "Thank you."

Rei had a shower and changed into his own pyjama's, and the two of them huddled beneath a big fluffy blanket together and watched _Back to the Future _together, the only halfway decent film on at eleven at night.

"I loved this film when I was a kid." Nagisa breathed. "It was one of my sisters favourites."

Rei smiled kindly. "You really love your sister, huh?"

Nagisa looked up at him, eyes earnest. "She was like a mom to me. My own mom didn't really look after us, so it was my oldest sister who did all the work. I love her so much, but I never see her because she lives so far away." he sighed sadly, sipping his tea.

Rei sighed too. "I'm sorry. Maybe I could take you sometime." he smiled down at the small blonde, whose eyes had brightened.

"Really?" Nagisa breathed, and Rei nodded.

"Of course. Why not?" Rei set his mug down and pulled the blanket back over his shoulder. "It would be a nice trip."

Nagisa set his mug down on the coffee table and snuggled into Rei's shoulder, winding his arms around his own. "You're too kind for your own good, Rei Ryuugazaki." he muttered, squeezing him tight.

Rei chuckled. "I am, it's a bad habit. But only to those who need it." he said, resting a hand over his.

They were halfway through the movie when Nagisa realised something was off. "Hey, Rei, where's your dog?" he mumbled sleepily, raising his head from where it rested, still comfortable on Rei's broad shoulder.

"Oh! He's gone to the vets. I'm picking him up tomorrow morning. Want to come?" he asked, looking down at him.

Nagisa nodded. "Yeah! Wow, a whole night and a morning with you. Aren't I lucky?" he grinned.

Rei raised his eyebrows. "Are you taking the piss?"

Nagisa giggled. "Maybe a little." he grinned up at him. "But I am grateful for what you're doing for me. You're like... The best, uh... what are we, exactly?"

Rei blinked. He wasn't quite sure. They weren't close enough to be boyfriends, but they were too close to just be dating. Friends sounded lame, friends with benefits sounded way too far from the truth. "I actually don't know." Rei laughed, fiddling with his glasses.

Nagisa smiled. "Then you're just the best, Rei." he said gently, and he pulled himself up and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Rei had said he would give up the bed for him, but Nagisa refused and said that he'd done enough for him already, so Rei set up the sofa bed for him. They both settled down to bed after twelve AM, the both of them worn out, Nagisa especially drained. It had began to rain, and the sound against the ceiling to floor window was soothing, and slowly sent Nagisa into a deep sleep, snuggled up in a ton of blankets and pillows that smelt like Rei's expensive shampoo. But as soon as he fell into this sleep, his mind replayed again and again what had happened to him, just each time they ended differently. Instead of Nagisa hitting him, he hit Nagisa and left him in the alley. Instead of managing to escape, he got caught and raped. Instead of running to Rei's, he ran home, and got his friends into trouble, as well as himself, even though they weren't even there. Instead of him being stopped in the alley, it was Rei, and all he could do was watch, like it was on a TV screen. He was trapped in this loophole, trying desperately to wake himself up, but to no avail, his eyes refusing to open. But when he saw Rei being stopped, he started to scream. He didn't know whether he was doing it outside of his dream, who knew? He just wanted to torture to be over, he didn't want to watch the loveliest guy he knew get treated the way he had done. He wouldn't stop screaming, until something called out his name. It was Rei, underneath the guy, looking directly at him. He was screaming too.

"Nagisa!"

Nagisa jolted awake, still yelling. "Rei? Rei! Rei!?"

Rei held the trembling body close to his chest. "I'm here. It's all right. I'm right here." he said gently, stroking the back of his damp head, trying to calm him down. "You gave me such a fright."

Nagisa started to sob into his chest, so glad he was OK. "R-R-Rei, he was back. The man was back." he wept weakly, clinging to his t-shirt. "H-He'd got you a-a-and I couldn't do anything."

Rei tightened the embrace. "He's not here. It's just you and I in here, OK? Nobody's going to get me or you." he closed his eyes, half-asleep. "I promise."

Nagisa clung to him until he'd stopped crying nonetheless, not wanting him to leave him on his own again. "Rei, I don't want to sleep on my own." he mumbled, sniffing furiously.

Rei sighed, pulling away from him and kissing his clammy forehead softly. "I understand. Come in the bed with me, OK? I'll keep you safe."

Nagisa let Rei guide him by the hand into his bedroom, and Rei fixed the pillows for him. "No more nightmares, all right? We need to get you to the hospital first thing." Rei said softly, watching as Nagisa climbed into his bed and closed his eyes almost immediately.

"OK, Rei." he mumbled sleepily, pulling the sheets tight around his body.

Rei slipped into bed beside him and switched off the lamp beside the bed, yawning and flipping over, his back to Nagisa. As he was falling into another dreamless sleep, he felt two arms wind themselves around his waist, and two legs tangle themselves between his. "Goodnight." Nagisa whispered into his neck, kissing his jaw gently.

Rei blushed deeply, yet couldn't help but smile. "Goodnight." he murmured, holding a bandaged hand in his.

* * *

I don't know whether I liked this chapter or not? Idk whether its written well enough or anything. I need your critique! Please tell me if you liked it, it may reassure me! Thank you!


	5. Tattooed Angel

TW: NSFW, sort of, maybe? It's just mentions of boobs and stuff, nothing too serious. Also mentions of anorexia, non consensual touching and deadbeat dads.

Thank you for sticking with this story, I'm so glad you're all enjoying this!

*note* I don't know the name of Rei's brother so I made one up lol

* * *

A crack of sunlight danced across Nagisa's upper body, his eyes slowly fluttering open to the sounds of birds singing, welcoming him back into the real world, and the sight of the October sunshine hanging low in a clear blue sky. Nagisa flipped over, back to the window, not appreciative of this, burrowing further down into the covers, wanting more hours of sleep to make up for the night before. A soft snoring and a heaviness lain across his torso caused him to reopen his tired eyes, squinting through his fatigue to see Rei sound asleep beside him, one hand beneath his face, the other draped lazily over Nagisa, almost as if he was protecting him, even in his slumber. Smiling slightly, Nagisa shuffled closer and pecked Rei on the nose, before closing his eyes again and letting out a soft, silent sigh, thinking how he could lay like this forever, the welcoming warmth of the bed sheets, the sunlight that escaped between the crack of the closed curtains and the beautiful face of his napping sweetheart all too good to be true. He found himself drifting off again, his mind creating a fantasy he wished he could recall, but Rei started to stir beside him, his arm lifting off his body, and leaving a cold, empty space of where he had been for most of the night. Nagisa pried his eyelids open to see Rei stretch out his arms above his head and slowly sit himself up, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Good morning, Rei." Nagisa said softly, closing his eyes again, a small, satisfied smile creeping over his lips.

Rei smiled down at him warmly, lifting his glasses off of the bedside table and slipping them on. "Good morning, Nagisa." he said, running his fingers through his hair, smoothing it down. "Did you rest well?"

Nagisa nodded, pulling the covers tighter around his shoulders. "Better when I was with you." he mumbled sleepily. "You're all warm and cuddly."

Rei chuckled lightly, once again resisting the urge to reach out and glide a hand over his bed head curls, too sweet to resist. "I'm glad you think so." he yawned, stretching his back out instead.

The two of them were silent for ten minutes or more, Nagisa flitting in and out of drifting daydreams, finding himself slowly slipping into another deep sleep, whilst Rei stared at the wall opposite them, running a check list through in his mind, trying his hardest to do things chronologically and focus, but his mind kept wondering to Nagisa, how he wished he could just lie in bed with him all morning, without having to worry about Nagisa's injuries, or Destrey, or work, or cleaning, or babysitting his nieces, or his uni work. But he knew, and he knew it well, if he just lay there all morning and did nothing, he would just worry for hours, and that he could not do. He had to do _something_.

"I have to call work, tell them I'm sick." Rei sighed deeply, rubbing his eye with the his fingertips behind his glasses.

Nagisa got snapped out of his dream once again. "Huh?" he yawned, stretching out his arms and sluggishly pulling himself upwards.

Nagisa had apparently pulled off his t-shirt during his sleep, and Rei's eyes were fixated on his naked upper-body, tattoos on full display, the bright colours standing out against his pale skin. Rei felt his face grow hot, watching as Nagisa pushed out his chest to stretch out his back, his spine arching, the covers rumpling at his hips. His lips were slightly parted as he let out a small moan, eyes closed, lashes curled over his flushed cheeks. _Oh, my God, _Rei thought, biting down hard on his bottom lip, averting his eyes. _Fuck me, please. _

Nagisa cocked his head to one side. "What did you say?"

Rei felt the heat spread to his chest. _Did I say that out loud_?

He cleared his throat, fiddling with his spectacles. "I-I have to tell work I'm sick." he stuttered, still refusing to look at him until he covered up.

Nagisa blinked. "What? But why?"

"I have to look after you!" Rei smiled, trying to get over this unexpected lust. "And anyway, I haven't had a sick day since I've been there."

Rei felt two arms wind tightly around his, a bandaged hand clasping his bicep to a bare chest. Rei felt a fire start in the pit of his stomach as Nagisa rested his chin atop his shoulder, glancing over to see his big, rose eyes staring up at him. Rei let out a shaken sigh. "What is it?"

"You don't have to do that!" Nagisa cried, pulling him closer. "I can go by myself, please don't worry about me, Rei."

Rei shook his head. "I insist." he pried his arm away from his grasp gently, but allowed himself to kiss his forehead, although what he really wanted to do was fuck him against a wall. "We can go together."

Rei slipped out of bed and pulled on a wool cardigan over his bare arms, the cold of the apartment a blessing to the heat that was still burning his cheeks. "I'll call them, and then make breakfast." he turned his head and gave Nagisa a kind smile. "OK?"

Before Nagisa could argue with him, he left the room, and moments later he heard the bathroom door creak shut. Nagisa collapsed back down into his bed, limbs akimbo, not bothering to cover himself again, having no desire to go back to dozing, and even if he did, Rei would probably shake him awake again for breakfast. Nagisa imagined him being the kind of person who would yank open your curtains at six AM and exclaim how beautiful it looked outside, and then pulled the covers off you and rolled you out of bed, like an annoying mother when you had to get ready for school.

He turned to face the empty side of the bed, staring at the unkempt sheets where Rei had been laid. He reached out and pulled one of his pillows against his chest, which was still warm and smelt like Rei's clothes and shampoo. He sighed deeply, burying his nose in the pillow. He didn't want to talk to the police, but he felt he had a duty to. What if it happened again? What if it happened again to someone else? Who was to say? Nagisa squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to think about it. Rei's muffled voice was heard through the walls, and Nagisa smiled a little. He couldn't believe he was taking the day off just for him. It was like he was special, as if he mattered. But this was different from his sisters, or his dad, or his friends, yet he wasn't exactly sure how, or why. He clasped the pillow close to his chest and closed his eyes again with a tiny, content sigh, and lay there in a daydream until the smell of breakfast caused him to rise. He pulled Rei's t-shirt back over his bare torso and tugged the borrowed hoodie over his shoulders as he padded into the kitchen, bare feet starting to chill against the tiles.

He couldn't help but feel a little flutter in his chest when he saw Rei, standing over the stove in his blue cardigan, his hair sticking up at the back, toes pointed as he rubbed the back of his ankle with his right foot, pouring a yellow mixture into a saucepan and sighing to himself.

_If only he was singing_, Nagisa thought, hugging himself tight. _That would be the icing on the cake._

Rei turned his head and smiled warmly. "Scrambled egg?"

Nagisa nodded happily. "Yes, please! I'm starving." he grinned, running a hand over his head. "Could I borrow your phone? I need to call Momo. Tell him I'm OK."

"Oh," Rei said, digging around in his jogging pants and passing him his cell. "Here."

"Thank you! I'll be five minutes tops." he beamed, turning on his heel and heading out onto the balcony.

As soon as he opened the double doors, a chilled, still air hit his warm cheeks, making him shiver. Nonetheless, he closed the door behind him as to not let the draught in and leaned against the railing, looking out over the playing fields at the back of Rei's neighbourhood, breathing in the fresh air and smiling to himself, feeling brand new. He dialled Momo's number, bracing himself for another lecture.

"Hello?" Momo sounded panicked, his voice high and unsteady. "Rei? Have you seen Nagisa? He's been missing since last night, have you seen him?"

"Mo, it's me. Don't worry." Nagisa said calmly, his breath making mist in the cold air. "I'm safe."

Momo started yelling at him - _You should have called! Why didn't you call!? What the fuck happened to you? Why weren't you home!?_ - the worry for his friend having caused him anxiety for hours, and when he finally calmed down, Nagisa retold the story.

Rei placed the steaming plate of scrambled egg and toast on the table, looking out at Nagisa, his blonde curls golden beneath the sunlight, making him look almost angelic. He had his back to him, so he couldn't really tell what he was saying, but common sense overruled guess and he knew he was telling his friend about what had happened to him the night before. Rei sighed deeply, letting his shoulders slouch over in defeat. What was he doing? He didn't know Nagisa. He wasn't an old friend or an ex lover or anything like that, so why was he doing all of this for him? The obvious reasons aside, he didn't have to come with him today. He didn't have to invite him into bed with him. He didn't have to call in sick or make him breakfast or lend him clothes. So why was he doing it? Because he was kind? Because he was generous? His mother's genes were strong, but even she was not this hospitable. So what was it? Nagisa was just some guy he met at a strip club. He was covered in tattoos and had eccentric piercings, no high school diploma, two sisters that had a different father to him and a job that he would usually look down on. So why? What was so different about Nagisa Hazuki?

Rei raised his eyes to the balcony again, watching as Nagisa turned, his profile beautiful beneath the golden sunlight, a slight breeze blowing wisps of hair over his forehead and cheekbones. He smiled, and it clicked.

He was in love with him.

Rei shook his head, turning back towards the stove and cracking eggs into a plastic bowl, frowning as he whisked._ How ridiculous! _He thought, his hand getting more vigorous. _I can't love him. I barely even _know _him! He's just a guy I'm doing a favour for, that's all. _

He poured the whisked eggs into the saucepan and popped bread into the toaster, sighing once again, remembering just half an hour ago when Nagisa was cuddling into him. _He's just a guy I want to have sex with and I'm doing a favour for him. _

He turned back to the stove and started stirring, watching the pale yellow liquid slowly grow solid, recalling, once again, how many times he'd kissed his forehead within the last twelve hours, and actually considered just laying in bed with him all day_. OK, he's a guy I want to have sex with _and _spend my mornings with, and I'm doing a favour for him. That does not mean I am in love with him, for certain. _

He opened the cupboard, pulled out a dinner plate, and set it beside the toaster, scraping the cooked eggs onto his plate and switching off the hob. Turning his head, he caught sight of Nagisa running a hand through his hair as he laughed, eyes closed, nose crinkled, looking the happiest he'd been since, well, the last time he saw him. The toaster pinged and his bread popped out of their slots. _OK, _Rei thought, hand to his heart as it thumped against his rib cage. _Maybe I am in love with him._

Nagisa returned to the kitchen in more than five minutes time, maybe it was ten, and grinned as his eyes set on the most lovely looking breakfast he could ask for.

"Is this for me?" Nagisa breathed, pulling out the chair behind the meal and perching in it.

"Oh, yes," Rei smiled at him, sitting opposite him with his own breakfast. "But it might be a little cold. I could warm it up for you..."

He may as well have not said anything at all, because as soon as one word left Rei's lips, Nagisa was shovelling it down at such a rate Rei couldn't even comprehend what it was doing to his system. "You're going to give yourself indigestion." Rei sighed, starting on his own.

"Oh, no, I won't." Nagisa waved him off, fork in hand. "I never have done before."

They ate breakfast together in silence, the both of them too wrapped up in their own thoughts to acknowledge the others existence, until Rei asked how Momo was on the topic of what had happened to him.

Nagisa stopped chewing, eyes saddening a little. "He sounded really upset. Obviously, of course he would be, but he started yelling at me about it first. I didn't understand why. But then I guessed it was because he was so worried about me. But that still doesn't really give him the right to say it was my fault that it happened."

Rei widened his eyes at him, lowering his fork away from his mouth. "Did he really say that?"

Nagisa nodded, setting his knife and fork down beside each other neatly, leaving two slices of toast and a scattering of egg. "I know he didn't mean it, because he was angry that I didn't tell him where I was, but..." Nagisa shrugged, rubbing his arm. "I'm starting to think maybe that it _was _my fault."

Rei shook his head. "Nagisa, it wasn't your fault. If there's anyone to blame, it's the guy who did that to you, not anyone else."

"But... It was my fault for walking home alone late, it was my fault for not listening to Ai and not catching the bus home, it was my fault I walked down that stupid alley, it was my fault I walked into him. It was all my fault." Nagisa lowered his eyes into his lap, plucking at the bandage on his arms. "If he hadn't seen me..."

Rei set his own knife and fork down and twitched his glasses. "Nagisa, you can go over the 'what ifs' and 'if this hadn't happeneds' all day, the blame would still land on him. _He _was the one who stopped you in the alley. _He _was the one who held you against your will and tried to _rape _you. How, in any way, was that your fault?"

Nagisa raised his eyes, fidgeting in his seat. "But-"

"But nothing. Nagisa, none of this has been your fault. None at all." he picked up his knife and fork again and smiled sadly at him. "Trust me."

Nagisa couldn't help thinking about it though, fiddling with his cutlery until Rei finished his breakfast, and then watching him load the dishwasher absently, his mind elsewhere. Whatever Rei said to him, though, he was still thinking _what if it was my fault? _over and over again, frowning down at the kitchen table and concentrating so hard he almost didn't hear Rei ask if he wanted coffee, shaking a polka dot mug at him.

"Oh, yes, please." he said softly, scrunching up his brow again.

Rei cocked his head ever so slightly, beginning to worry, as if he hadn't been already. "Are you all right, Nagisa? You seem a little... I don't know..." Rei shook coffee into his machine. "Off."

Nagisa waved his hand again, knocking him off. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Stop worrying."

Rei couldn't help but chuckle. "Nagisa, I've been worried about you ever since you fainted last night." he switched on the machine and turned towards him. "Do you honestly think I'm going to stop now?"

Nagisa slouched his shoulders over with a small sigh. "I know. I'm sorry, Rei, for... for being a burden," his expression softened, eyes growing sad. "I always manage to be burden to somebody, or need something off someone else – it's never ending."

Rei pushed himself away from the work surface and sat opposite him again, hand supporting his head. "You are not a burden. You are someone in need." Rei smiled warmly at Nagisa, and his heart melted. "And I'm doing my best to help you, OK? You are just as important as a friend or relative to me." he lowered his voice. "Maybe even more important."

The machine beeped, signalling its completion, and Rei stood again, pouring fresh coffee for the both of them, and Nagisa bit the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from exploding.

* * *

Whilst Rei was showering and changing, Nagisa tidied away the futon he had abandoned last night as best he could, considering he was the one who left it in a mess in the first place. He folded blankets and stacked the two pillows atop the sheets, and once he was finished, he collapsed into his cool, leather couch and rested his head against the pile of bedtime things, pulling his knees to his chest and once again staring at his reflection in the TV screen, but he looked somewhat different than he did last night. Fresher? Happier? Or maybe it was his hair. Who could tell? Rei had told him to make himself at home last night, and again when he left him to get dressed, but what could he do? He didn't want to watch TV, he had no phone to play with, and his dog was elsewhere. He tore his eyes away from his own reflection with a sigh and scanned the room, concentrating on other things, like his little knick-knacks and all the photographs scattered around the room, held in silver, glass, black or white frames, to match his colour scheme. This made Nagisa smile a little. He could imagine that Rei was not the type to get mismatching furniture, and that he was very sensible in that respect. All Nagisa could think was how he would do in _his_ bedroom at home, as it was just a mix of everything.

There was one photo that caught his eye, though, and that sat beside what looked like fictional books, maybe sci-fi, Nagisa wasn't really sure, but he could tell from a distance there were quite a few people in the photo, around six or seven, and at first glance, it looked like a family photograph, as they were packed so tightly together. But when he pulled himself up and took a closer look, none of these people looked like they would belong to Rei's family. He recognised three out of the seven people in the picture – Sharky, the guy who called Boss and asshole and Rei – but the two other guys and two other girls he did not recognise in the slightest. There was a girl with bright red hair who looked like Sharky, another girl with shoulder-length hair and a big bust, a guy with black hair and another with big green eyes. They all looked so happy together, and maybe just a little drunk, their skin tanned, (especially Rei, who looked almost like he came from the heart of the Caribbean) and their smiles genuine, something about them making Nagisa feel somewhat welcomed. Behind them loomed tall coconut trees that were wrapped in fairy lights, a large, turquoise pool which reflected the silver moon that hung low in the purple of the night sky, stars scattered like sequins over scenery. The seven of them were on holiday together, it seemed, in a bar on a balcony, and they looked as if they were having a good time. Nagisa smiled, crouching down and setting it back where he'd found it, ever so carefully, as to not break anything, which he was notorious for.

He scoured the shelves for more pictures like that, and actually found quite a few, with all of the people in the holiday picture. There was one of him, Sharky and the mysterious girl with shoulder-length hair, their faces painted with the stuff people wore at those ultra-violet clubs. It made Nagisa chuckle a little, as it looked like the three of them were at a festival, with the crowd in the background and the pretty flower crown sat on mystery girls head. Nagisa never really categorised Rei as a festival goer. Or the type of person who would go on a drunken voyage with his friends, as a matter of fact. The longer Nagisa stared at the photograph, the more he realised there was still so much he didn't know about him. When was this picture taken? Recently? Two years ago? College? High-school? How was he to know? It actually looked as if it had been cut up, as Sharky and the mystery girl were very close together, her arm around his shoulder, as if he was carrying her, and Rei was pulling the peace sign, leaning against Sharky's shoulder, but it looked as if half of Rei's arm was missing. Maybe it was the photograph, but he couldn't tell, as the frame containing it hid it well. When the bathroom door unlocked, Nagisa jumped out of his skin and almost dropped the frame, but he gripped onto it tight, heart beating quick, a flush making his face heat in embarrassment.

"Are you snooping about at my photo's, Nagisa?" Rei smiled, looking fresh as a daisy in a blue button up shirt and a pair of black jeans that he'd rolled up at the ankles. "I don't mind. Some of them are very old, mind you."

Nagisa felt himself go a darker red, still staring at the festival picture. "When was this taken?" he blurted, pointing at the picture in hand.

Rei looked over his shoulder, and laughed lightly. "Oh! Years ago, when I was in my second year at college. Rin and Gee," he pointed at Sharky and mystery girl. "Convinced me and an ex to go on a double date with them to a festival somewhere. Don't ask me what it was called. They go to things like that all the time, but it was the first and the last time for myself. I had fun, but I couldn't see myself at a place like that again."

_That explains why it's cut in half_, Nagisa thought, running his finger over Rei's missing arm. "Why'd you keep the picture if it had your ex in it?" Nagisa asked, propping it back up against a small statue of a Chinese Warrior.

"Because it's a good photo. And Gee looks nothing like that now," Rei explained, picking up the folded blankets and resting them against his chest. "She's grown her hair out and dyed her fringe blue. Rin goes on about it all the time." he rolled his eyes, as if it were more annoying to him than it probably was for her. "But I think it looks good. I think I have a photo on my phone of her now, actually."

Nagisa watched him walk out of the room with the blankets, smiling a little. "Are they dating?" he called out to him.

"They have been for almost three years, I think." Rei called back, pulling open the drawer beneath his bed and squashing down the sheets. "She's actually a good friend of Sousuke's, from High School. We all just kind of fit in, really."

Nagisa picked up the photograph of the holiday makers again, staring at Rin and Gee. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him, and she was laughing, cheeks flushed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Hey, Rei, who are all these people?" Nagisa asked once Rei returned into the lounge. Rei rested a hand on Nagisa's shoulder and bent down to his height, making Nagisa blush.

He laughed lightly. "Ah. OK. Sousuke, Haru, his boyfriend Makoto, Rin's sister Gou, and then the obvious," he said, pointing out each person individually. "We'd just graduated from college and we got all our money together to go to Ibiza. Again, that was the first and the last time I'll ever go, but Ibiza is a once in a lifetime thing, I suppose."

Nagisa looked up at him. "I've never been."

Rei raised his eyebrows. "Really?" he looked back at the picture. "As much as I say I didn't like it, I had a good time. Maybe you and your friends should get together."

Nagisa fidgeted awkwardly beneath the gentle hold he had on him. "I've never been out of the US before."

Rei stood to his full height, hand still on Nagisa's shoulder, expression skeptical. "Are you sure? You've never been to Spain? Or Turkey? Or Egypt? Or anywhere like that?"

Nagisa shook his head, almost ashamed. "I don't have a rich family, like you. My dad took me and my sister to Florida and California, and maybe Los Angeles, but I've never, ever been abroad." he stared at the photograph. "You're lucky."

Rei covered his forehead with his hand, realising how selfish and rude he must have sounded. "Well, I wouldn't call it lucky," he said softly, squeezing Nagisa's shoulder. "I would call it..."

Nagisa looked up at him with a smile. "Privileged?"

Rei shook his head.

"Having rich parents?"

He shook his head again.

"A father who owns his own business?"

Rei chuckled. "Nagisa,"

"What?" Nagisa said, as innocently as he could – but he was grinning. "It's true! Your family is loaded and you know it." he pointed at his shirt. "Is that _Ralph Lauren_?"

Rei covered the logo on the breast pocket with his hand. "Maybe it is," he blushed, his clothes not really doing him any favours in this argument. "But it is pretty old."

Nagisa laughed. "So what? You can still afford it! And you can afford to go to all these places!"

Rei smiled down at him. "It's also good to have families that live all over the world. The amount of times I've visited Spain is unreal. And Japan, as a matter of fact."

"Poor you," Nagisa muttered sarcastically, and Rei sighed.

"Sorry, sorry. I shan't go on about it." he kissed Nagisa's forehead gently in a try hard apology. "OK, so, what's on the agenda?"

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks, remembering why he was here in the first place, the conversation having feigned off the sinking feeling he's had in his gut since he'd woken up. "Well... I guess we have to see the cops first. A-and then get my wrists checked out..." he felt tears well in his eyes. "I'm not sure if I'm ready, Rei."

Rei pried the photograph out of Nagisa's grip and set it down gently on the coffee table. "I know, it's difficult, but I'll be with you, OK?" he smiled sadly at him, taking a bandaged hand in his and squeezing it gently. "You're not alone in this."

Nagisa felt two tears drip from his bottom lashes, and he wiped them away furiously, sniffing. "OK." he mumbled, voice shaken. "Thank you."

Rei chuckled. "Don't be silly." he let go of his hand and pulled him into his chest, holding him close, arms wound tight around his shoulders and back. "Like I said, I'm here to look after you."

* * *

There wasn't much Nagisa could remember about the man, or much he _wanted _to remember, and no matter how many times the woman asked him, he refused to describe him, only uttering the words 'I can't remember', over and over again.

"Just do your best, we need to know every detail." the woman kept repeating, not once getting annoyed or angry at him.

Nagisa let out a shaky breath. "He was really tall and strong." he mumbled, the first words he'd used that were in fact descriptive. "A-and he was wearing a black jacket..."

"Do you remember his face at all?" the woman asked, scribbling this down.

"I-I-I..." he shuffled around in his seat, twiddling his thumbs. "His hood was down. I couldn't see. I-I'm sorry."

"No need to be, sweetheart. We're going to do the best we can to find him. Don't you worry." she said gently. "We take this kind of thing very seriously, and it will be taken into account as soon as possible. Do you have the phone you used?"

Nagisa shook his head. "I think..."

"I do," Rei smiled at her, opening his bag and pulling out the damaged device. "I thought you'd need it."

"Thank you. Don't worry, sweetheart," the woman said, accepting the phone and slipping it into a plastic bag labelled 'evidence'. "I know now you used it in self-defence, so you won't get into trouble. We'll send it to the forensic team, see if they can get anything out of it. Is that all you have to report?"

Nagisa stared at his arms. "Injuries."

After the woman examined his arms, she nodded. "OK. We'll get you an appointment, see if there's any serious damage."

Whilst she left the room to get papers for them to sign, and ink for their thumb prints, so the ones on the phone can be ruled out, Rei wrapped Nagisa's arm back up for him, as gently and as lovingly as he had done the night before. "See, it wasn't that bad." he said softly, patting his arm carefully.

Nagisa sniffed. "My arm hurts." he mumbled, rubbing his nose.

"I know. But they'll sort it out for you. You don't have to worry any more, OK?" Rei smiled kindly, taking his hand in both of his and holding it tight. Nagisa nodded, tears scratching the back of his throat. "Yeah." he said shakily, winding his fingers around Rei's. "OK."

Once they left the station, Nagisa was still very much shaken up and threatening to burst into tears, so Rei suggested they went to collect his dog from the vets.

"Maybe he'll cheer you up." he smiled. "I think he's been missing you."

Nagisa couldn't help but let his lips twitch into a little smile. He loved Rei's dog. Almost as much as he loved Rei himself.

Destrey was barking like nothing of it when both Rei and Nagisa walked into the kennels, his tail wagging at ridiculous speeds, knocking on the cage door of some poor, white Scotty dog with a broken leg.

"Hello, Des!" Rei greeted, crouching down before him and scratching his best friend behind the ear. "Have you been good?"

Nagisa crouched beside Rei, hands on his knees, watching him talk to the vet that had the dog on his lead. Destrey took a few steps forward and snuffled Nagisa's hair and neck, then started to lick his cheeks, making him giggle.

"Hello," he said softly, smiling slightly as he ran his hands over the black and white mop of curls upon his head. "You look happy."

Destrey tried to get closer to him, but the vet pulled him back, and Destrey sat, tail still wagging ferociously. Nagisa stood as Rei did, and the vet lead them into the reception area, where Nagisa sat with Destrey whilst Rei paid for his treatment. Nagisa sat on the floor with Destrey, who was sitting between his knees, tail hitting his hip over and over again, but something about it was relaxing. Nagisa ran his fingers through Destrey's fur, cheek against the warmth of his back, watching Rei talk to the receptionist. She was laughing with him, and she looked as if she was flirting with him. Nagisa grinned, hiding his face in the dogs back. Did he get this all the time? Was he so totally oblivious to the fact that people _were _flirting with him? Because the way he was talking to her, his body language open and smile kind, looked as if he had no idea.

_He's such a dork_, Nagisa thought, feeling himself flush with embarrassment as he adjusted his glasses the way he always did and explained something the receptionist obviously did not care about.

"Your dad is oblivious to pretty much everything, isn't he, Des?" Nagisa sighed, scratching Destrey's neck. "Still, he knows a lot more than I do."

Destrey stood as Rei walked towards them, Nagisa having to stand up too to avoid permanent damage by Destrey's extremely strong tail.

"All set?" Rei asked, taking the dogs lead out of Nagisa's hand.

Nagisa nodded, tucking his hands in his pockets. They walked out into the crisp afternoon air together, Nagisa breathing in appreciatively. "It smells like Christmas." he stated, slinking his arm into Rei's and cuddling into him, the chill catching up to him.

"Christmas?" Rei repeated, getting used to Nagisa's unexpected cuddles. "How?"

"It smells like frost and smoke from the fireplace." Nagisa breathed in again. "Christmas!"

Rei chuckled. "You're a funny one." They reached his car, and he opened the back door for Destrey to clamber into. "Don't you usually associate chestnuts roasting on an open fire and weird old spices and stuff to Christmas?"

Nagisa shook his head. "No. Every year, since I was a kid, my dad would take me out on a walk every Christmas morning, and it was magical, because it would always be snowing, and we'd be the first ones to make footprints in the fresh stuff." Nagisa explained, climbing into the passenger seat beside Rei and pulling on his seat belt. "And then my sister joined in when she was old enough to walk. They were always special to me, because I never really saw him much when he split up with my mom, and only in the holidays would he come around and see us." Nagisa sighed sadly, staring down at his feet. "I never see him at all now."

Rei started up the car, turning the heater on full blast. "Why not? I still see mine, even when I could so easily avoid it."

Nagisa sighed deeply. "You don't want to know."

Rei felt a slight twinge in his chest, as if Nagisa had pulled on something sensitive, but he wasn't sure what. "Of course I do." Rei said gently, pulling out of the car park and beginning to drive down an almost deserted road. "I mean, I told you about mine."

Nagisa sighed deeply. "OK... OK, Well, when I was fourteen, he started dating this woman. God knows why, she was awful. She treated me and my kid sister like shit, and she was only ten or eleven. She would call me out on how I wasn't very good at anything, and that I didn't belong here, blah blah blah, I didn't really care, I got enough of that shit at school. It was my sister she would pick on the most anyway, as if she was jealous of her, which was really weird. Anyway, she would call her fat and ugly and whatnot, and of course that's gonna stick with you forever, isn't it?"

Rei nodded, furrowing his brow.

"Well, my dad knew what she was saying but he wouldn't do anything about it, and I don't even know why. She was a fucking bitch to everybody. I thought I was going to kill her at one point. She just kept going on and on and on, about my mom and about my other sisters, who had nothing to do with her. They had been dating for three months before she got pregnant, and she wanted to marry my dad right away.

"My dad didn't want to, for good enough reasons, so she got an abortion just to spite him."

Rei almost chocked. "What!?"

"Yeah." Nagisa muttered. "He was upset about it, for some reason, and told her that if she wanted to be with him she would have to stop being such a spoilt bitch, and rightfully so. They split up for a year or so, and my sister and I were happier, because we got along better with our dad. And then when I was sixteen, and my sister was thirteen, he got back with her.

"She seemed nicer, she seemed kinder. She was better with my sister, who was borderline anorexic at this point, because of what she told her at such a young age. But there must have been something about me, because she still hated my fucking guts. She would always rule me out of everything and still call me out on shit that didn't matter to me. I was suffering from depression, so how this affected me I have no idea.

"Anyway, she got pregnant with his baby again, and this time they planned on getting married, but she had a miscarriage. She refused to let the wedding go to waste, though, so they continued to plan it, although my dad had been thrown into this manic depressive state because of her miscarriage.

"Came the wedding, she told my sister, who had started to recover from her anorexia, that she looked fat in her dress. I had an absolute fit and destroyed the wedding cake. Three tier, really pretty. Completely smashed it, and then I ripped her wedding dress. My sister and I got kicked out and since then I never my father again."

Rei had stopped driving by then, and they were just sat in his parking space outside the apartments. Rei's head was in a whirl, he wasn't exactly sure on what to say or how to react, so he just sat there, staring at him, eyes unblinking, in a complete shock.

Nagisa smiled sadly. "I told you you didn't want to know. It's awful, isn't it?"

Rei nodded numbly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Oh, don't be. I love my dad, don't get me wrong, but that woman changed him." he muttered bitterly, puffing out his cheeks. "She was a right bitch."

Rei opened his mouth, then shut it again. Should he ask about his depression? Should he ask about his sister? Should he ask about the 'shit he got at school'? He didn't know where Nagisa stood on this kind of thing, he didn't know whether he would be offended or not. So he just left it, and said nothing at all.

* * *

Nagisa stayed at Rei's for the rest of the day, cuddling with his dog and even having a nap, feeling so warm and happy, not really taking into consideration that Momo was waiting for him at home, or the fact that he had work tomorrow. He didn't care. He was happy here, and right then and there, that was all that mattered. Rei woke him up eventually, asking him about whether he wanted supper at his or not, and it wasn't until then when Nagisa realised how late it was.

"I can go home, if you want, I don't want to burden you." Nagisa said, the words leaving his lips before he realised that he'd repeated exactly the same thing from that morning.

"No, no! You're not a burden at all." Rei smiled. "I was just going to make something quick anyway. I have to babysit my nieces in an hour."

Nagisa's eyes brightened. "Can I come?" he breathed, grabbing his wrist. "I'd love to meet them! And your brother!"

Rei laughed. "Of course! I'm sure my brother would like to meet you, too."

They had a quick meal of chicken and noodles, which Nagisa ate every scrap of, and they set off to Rei's brothers, Nagisa growing more nervous the closer they got to their house.

"Do you know where they're going?" Nagisa asked, running his fingers through his hair.

Rei shook his head. "Not in the slightest. His wife just called me and asked with no explanation. It's expected of Liberty, as she's very forgetful, so I didn't really mind."

Nagisa smirked. "Her name's Liberty?"

"It sounds like a name for a prize winning show horse, doesn't it?" he grinned, and Nagisa covered his mouth with his hand as he laughed, feeling a little guilty.

"At least it's not something like Precious." Nagisa chortled.

"You know a Precious?" Rei breathed, chuckling.

Nagisa nodded. "She was a girl in my Middle School. She hated my guts because I called her a pedigree. And one of her friends joined in on my joke and bought her a bag of Pedigree dog food for her birthday because she called her fat. We shortly became friends after that." he laughed, shaking his head.

Rei bit down on his lip, yet couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, good Lord. What were her parents thinking?"

Nagisa shook his head. "Beats me. Maybe they actually named her after a dog."

When they arrived at their house, Nagisa hung behind Rei as he rang their doorbell, taking in the sheer size of the house. It was at least a four or five bedroom house, and it was absolutely beautiful.

A woman with long, blonde hair opened the door and enveloped Rei in a welcoming hug. "Ah! I'm so glad you could come."

"No problem. I'm always happy to see them, you know that." Rei grinned, fiddling with his glasses as she let go.

Nagisa climbed the stone steps and stood beside Rei, hands in his pockets.

Liberty blinked her long lashes at him, then glanced back at Rei. "You must be..."

"I'm Nagisa, Rei's friend," Nagisa smiled, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Liberty was charmed by Nagisa's cheerful smile and welcoming attitude, taking his hand and shaking it warmly. "You too! I'm Liberty. Come in, come in, it's freezing out here!"

Nagisa stepped inside, and Liberty gave Rei a little wink as he walked past, making him blush.

"Mikio," Liberty sang up the stairs. "Your brother's here!"

"OK!" he called back. "I'll be down in a minute!"

A door creaked open and a small girl peered her around it, and Liberty waved her hand, coaxing her out. "Gracie, Rei's here." she said softly.

Nagisa had never seen such a pretty little girl before in his life. Her hair was as dark as Rei's and it was tied in a fat plait down to her waist, and her eyes were just like her mothers, big and blue, with long black lashes framing them beautifully. She had dark freckles speckled over her cheeks, nose and forehead, and her mouth was in a little pout. "I don't want you to go, Mommy." Gracie mumbled sleepily, walking over to the three of them and winding her arms around Liberty's leg, which both Rei and Nagisa could tell was a very bad idea, as the dress she was wearing looked very expensive, and the creases would take forever to smooth out again.

"Oh, darling, don't worry. Me and Daddy will be back before you know it." she said softly, resting a gentle hand atop her head.

She looked over at Rei. "Her bedtime's in an hour or so. She's pretty worn out though, so maybe you could put her to bed earlier?"

"No problem." Rei smiled.

"Mommy, can I cuddle?" she asked, raising her arms up to her and making grabbing motions with her hands.

"Oh, baba, Mommy's in her dress now. I can't cuddle." she said, smoothing her dress down.

Gracie turned to Rei and waved her hands even more. "Can I cuddle, Uncle Rei-Rei?" she begged, batting her ridiculously long lashes.

Nagisa couldn't help but smile as he watched Rei crouch down and lift the tiny girl off her feet, holding her against his hip, letting her wrap her little arms around his shoulders and hold him, head resting in the crook of his neck. He suddenly felt very paternal, and imagined what it would be like to raise a child with Rei. He raised his eyes to see Rei smiling down at Gracie, her long, dark hair draping over his chest. It was unbelievably cute, and she looked so much like him she could easily be his own.

"Mikio, come on, we're going to be late!" Liberty cried, from soft spoken to venomous in thirty seconds flat.

"OK, all right, I'm coming," Mikio called back.

Rei could hear the annoyance in his voice, and he just knew the ride there was _not _going to be pretty, no matter how beautiful Liberty was.

Gracie pulled away from Rei and looked over at Nagisa, and he smiled at her.

"Who are you?" Gracie asked, rubbing her tired eyes with her knuckle, silky pink pajamas slipping down her tan arm.

Nagisa rubbed the back of his head and smiled sweetly. "I'm Nagisa, I'm your uncles friend." he held out his hand towards her and she took his fingers in her hand. "What's your name, honey?"

Gracie giggled. "My name is Gracie. I am five and three quarters."

"Wow! Almost as old as me!" he breathed, teasing her a little.

Gracie giggled again. "No! You're much much bigger than me!"

Liberty glanced over at the three of them and felt the corners of her mouth lift into a small smile, despite her annoyance at her husbands tardiness. Rei had always been lovely from when he was a kid in middle school, and she'd watch him grow up into the gentleman he was today. She knew about how introverted he could be, she knew he found it hard to get out there and meet new people, so seeing him with a man, a new one, who he seemed so comfortable with, was a novelty, and she couldn't help but feel proud for her little brother-in-law, just for landing himself with a pretty little blonde like that. Liberty's smiled grew then – the two brothers may not be the same in sexuality, but they certainly have a similar type.

Mikio appeared at the top of the stairs, and Liberty threw her arms out, as if to say: 'here he is, the man of the hour'.

Mikio grinned, jogging down the stairs and kissing her on the cheek. "You look stunning." he smiled, reaching around and patting her on the ass, and she slapped him on the arm in return, but she was smiling.

"Nice that you showed your face." Rei raised his eyebrows at his brother.

"Cuddles, Daddy!" Gracie clamoured, reaching out for him, once again making grabbing motions with her hands.

"Are you all sleepy, Gracie?" Mikio lifted her out of Rei's arms, kissing her forehead as he held her to his chest. "You look sleepy."

Gracie shook her head. "I'm not sleepy!" she cried. "I can stay up for hours!" Mikio laughed.

"You say that every night." he smiled at Rei, then looked past him at the small blonde standing beside him.

He looked back at Rei, who raised his eyebrows at him, daring him to say anything. "You must be the boyfriend my Mom told me about!" Mikio smiled at Nagisa, holding out his hand towards him, completely ignoring his kid brothers glare."I'm Rei's brother, Mikio. I'm sure you've heard a lot about me."

Rei wanted to kill him. He wanted to so badly, but his cheeks were scarlet and his voice wouldn't work, so to cease further embarrassment he didn't say a word.

"Oh!" Nagisa shook his hand."I'm not his boyfriend. Well, not yet." he winked at Rei, and he almost fainted.

"Well, nevertheless, it's very nice to meet you." he let go of Nagisa's hand and grinned at Rei, who scowled darkly.

"Well, we better be off then. Rosa!" Liberty called up the stairs. "Come say goodbye to me and dad!"

Gracie knew she was going to be put back down again, so she held out her arms towards Rei again, and he gladly welcomed her back in his arms, holding her close. "Have you missed me, Gracie?"

Gracie nodded, clinging to him. "Yes! I missed you lots." she kissed his cheek, and Rei chuckled, kissing he cheek back.

"Bye Mom, bye Dad," Rosa said from the top of the stairs, crossing her arms over her chest. "Come give me a hug," Mikio smiled, and Rosa rolled her eyes, thudding down the staircase and giving her father a brief hug.

Liberty kissed both of her daughters on the cheek and told Rei they'd be back before eleven, then kissed him on the cheek too. The two of them waved and walked out of the house, Mikio's arm slinking around his wife's waist as he shut the door behind them. Rosa adjusted her glasses and fluffed her full fringe, staring at both adults that stood over her.

"Are you my uncles boyfriend?" she asked Nagisa, tightening the ponytail that sat high on her head.

Nagisa laughed as Rei turned beet red, hiding his face behind his hand. "No! I'm just a friend. I'm Nagisa. What's your name?"

Rosa blushed. "Rosa. But my friends call me Rose. I prefer it. Only because my mom says it all the time. _Rosa Marie Ryuugazaki,_" she mimicked, folding her arms again. "It's so annoying."

Rei couldn't help but laugh. "At least you don't have her name."

Rosa blinked, slightly stunned at her uncle's response – but then she remembered that her mother wasn't his favourite person in the world, and neither was she hers. "True. Liberty Viola Ryuugazaki is going a bit too far."

Gracie yawned loudly then, laying her forehead against Rei's cheek. "I'm tired now, Rei-Rei." she mumbled, rubbing her nose against her pajama sleeve.

"OK, Gracie. Shall we get you to bed?" Rei asked softly, and Gracie nodded. "OK, say goodnight."

"Goodnight, Nagisa, goodnight Rosa." she yawned, closing her eyes, thick black lashes fanning over her freckled cheeks.

"Goodnight, sweetie," Nagisa smiled.

He watched as Rei carried her upstairs, expression softening as his heart melted in his chest, his whole body glowing as he hugged himself tight.

Rosa smiled slightly. "You're so in love with my uncle." she grinned, watching his eyes widen as she said this.

"Is it obvious?" he laughed somewhat awkwardly, rubbing his flushed cheek. "Though, he's so oblivious I don't think he'd realise it if I slapped him with a wet fish and screamed it until the cows came home."

Rosa laughed. "Probably. How long have you known him?"

"Like a month or so." he watched as she grimaced, and he nodded. "I know. It's soon, but how can you stop that kind of thing?"

Rosa shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been in love before." she smiled at him. "And by the looks of things, I don't want to be, either."

Nagisa smiled sadly. "Good. It's the worst feeling in the world."

Rosa struck Nagisa as very mature for her age, and very plain, unfortunately having inherited the more masculine looks of her father, whilst her little sister, on the other hand, had the genes of her mother, who was, Nagisa learned, an ex-model, and now had her own fashion campaign. He could tell why Rosa did not like her mother. She seemed rather pretentious, and probably pushed her daughters into modelling and so on. But Rosa was the stereotypical pre-teen of the rich and famous family who refused to follow in her mothers footsteps and wanted to pursue her own career, and in her case, it was science. She wanted to be a forensic scientist, and told Rei that she was going to do what he'd done, to not be a ready-made model or business partner, but do her own thing.

"I admire your bravery, Rose, I really do. I expect Gracie will do the same thing." Rei sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Probably. She hates having her picture taken, so I doubt she'll be on the runway for _America's Next Top Model._" Rosa muttered bitterly, furiously stabbing something into her phone.

"I don't think I've seen your mom in anything, though." Nagisa said thoughtfully, furrowing his brow. "She's very beautiful, so I would probably remember her face."

"She was a 'glamour' model." Rei made quotation marks with his fingers.

Nagisa looked puzzled, and Rosa caught on to the silence quicker than Nagisa could realise what glamour model meant.

"Basically, she was a B-list topless model. Like porn, but not." Rosa muttered, disgusted by this fact.

"Oh! That's probably why I don't know her, then..." he said, furrowing his brow.

"My friends were awful around her," Rei sighed. "They came over here for a Christmas party last year. Rin's girlfriend couldn't come, so it was just him, Sousuke and I. They'd never met my brother's wife before, so when I introduced them, Sousuke almost choked on his drink, and when we asked him what was wrong, he said '_that's the woman I used to jerk off to when I was fourteen! Why didn't you fucking tell me her name!?_', and then continued to choke on his drink."

Nagisa snorted with laughter. "No way! Was she there when he said it?"

"No. But at one point in the evening, he was very drunk, and so was she, and I think he told her what he told us, because Rin found him squeezing her boobs."

Nagisa snorted. "Classy."

Rei grinned. "Tell me about it. But it's always a great story to tell when he gets a new date, I'll tell you that much."

"It's also really embarrassing to know that your own mother let her brother-in-law's friend grope her fake tits." Rosa piped up.

Nagisa felt the sudden urge to see this woman, who seemed so motherly and kind, with her top off. "That's so unfair, I want to see them!"

Rei spluttered. "Nagisa! Really?"

"Sure, I'll google some for you." Rosa said, hopping up out of her seat and squishing herself between the two of them. She passed him her phone once she'd found some, and Nagisa pouted.

"Huh," he said, scrolling through them, even tapping on some to get a better look. "I thought they'd be more impressive."

Rei blushed furiously, whilst Rosa nodded in agreement. "I know."

"Your friend has some mediocre standards, Rei." Nagisa muttered, staring at one particular photograph of her on the beach, sitting in the sand, long, blonde hair dripping wet and her finger to her lips, her bikini top in hand, only one boob on show. "This ones pretty standard, too. She kind of looks like Kim Kardashian with blonde hair."

Rei was cripplingly embarrassed. "Can you please stop looking at my brother's wife?" Nagisa looked up at him with a grin. "Why? Jealous?" he thrust Rosa's phone underneath his nose. "Seriously though, don't you think?"

Rei took the phone from him and actually had a proper look at it. "Well..." he grimaced. This was one photo he'd never seen before. "I've never really seen the attraction of boobs, if I'm quite honest."

"Neither have I, but, I don't know, you know a good rack when you see one." Nagisa said looking back at the picture. "And I'm not feeling hers at all, really."

The two of them stared at the photo for a few moments longer, whilst Rosa covered her eyes, having seen enough of her own mothers breasts, before Rei shook his head. "Neither am I. If I were straight, I'd probably like small ones, maybe. My brother has no taste, mind you. But Sousuke does, to be fair, so I am disappointed in his fourteen-year-old self."

Nagisa handed Rosa her phone back with a sigh. "Well, that was anti-climatic. I thought they'd be like _wow, look at me, I'm a super amazing pair of boobs that'll turn Nagisa bi_ – but they weren't. And I'm disappointed."

"Why, have you seen boobs like that before?" Rei chuckled.

Nagisa thought about it. "Well, in my job, you see a lot of things. And I mean, a _lot _of things. But a good pair of tits is not one."

Rosa pulled herself out from between them and held out her hand. "For a gay person, you talk a lot about boobs."

Nagisa smiled. "Sorry! It's Rei's fault for bringing it up."

Rei held up his hands. "Excuse me, I didn't say anything about-"

"Yes, you did, you were the one who told him she was a glamour model."

"No, I answered his question, I didn't-"

"It's all your fault, Rei. Now I may or may not turn bi." Nagisa said.

"But I-"

"I saw more of my mothers tits than I wanted. I'm going to bed."

"But-"

Rosa walked out of the room, saying goodnight to the both of them with a wave of her hand.

"I didn't do anything."

The two of them were cuddled up on the sofa, naturally, of course, when Nagisa had the sudden urge to kiss Rei. He had no idea where it came from, he had no clue why he wanted to do it, but he just did. Nagisa lifted his head off Rei's shoulder and snuggled up closer, sitting up so he could get a better view of Rei's face.

He turned his head, smiling at Nagisa. "What's up? Tired?"

Nagisa shook his head, a small smile turning into a grin. "No. It's just... You're so lovely to your nieces."

Rei furrowed his brow. "Well, how else am I supposed to be?"

Nagisa giggled. "No, I mean... You're just lovely." he smiled, resting his chin on his shoulder, still staring up at him. "And I think that's the best thing you could be."

"Thank you," Rei chuckled, before returning his attention back to the TV screen.

_Man, you're a tough one, _Nagisa thought, furrowing his brow.

"You know, I don't think I've met anyone like you," Nagisa tried again, sitting up on his knees and winding his arms around his shoulders. "You don't think I'm annoying or anything."

_Well, you're being kind of annoying now_, Rei thought, fidgeting around a bit.

"I'm just really thankful that you're here for me." he whispered, and kissed his cheek.

"Why are you so touchy-feely all of a sudden?" Rei muttered, and Nagisa found himself feeling rather offended.

"Why? Don't you like it?" Nagisa asked, cocking his head to one side.

"It's not that, it's just... I don't know, I'm just a bit hot in here." Rei mumbled, wiggling uncomfortably again.

Nagisa sat back on his heels, crossing his arms. "Oh." he felt a little wounded, and Rei noticed that he looked rather put out.

"Don't take offence, it's not that I don't want you to cuddle me like that, because I do, it's just that... I don't know. It's my brothers house, his kids are sleeping upstairs, I just feel weird."

Nagisa laughed then, tilting his head back. "We're not having sex, Rei!" he chortled.

_Yeah, but you have no idea how much I wish we were_, Rei thought, slowly slumping in his seat.

"I just want to cuddle." Nagisa pressed, nuzzling his nose in Rei's soft hair and winding his arms around his shoulders again.

Rei sighed deeply. "OK, but if you want to, you have to do it right." he said, and Nagisa frowned.

"What do you mean? Am I not..." Nagisa pulled his arms away. "What?"

Rei placed his hands on both Nagisa's hips and pulled him onto his lap, something so unexpected Nagisa almost squealed in sheer excitement.

"Like this." Rei said softly, holding him firmly against his upper thighs.

Nagisa had no idea what to do now. Was he expecting him to hug him or kiss him? It was hard to see what his eyes read in the darkness of the lounge, so he just went along with it, going with his earlier intuitive and fulfilling his urge, going straight for a kiss.

He would like to say there were fireworks, like it did in the teen novels, when the protagonist kisses the love of her life and it describes how her wrongs turn into rights and how it felt like they were the only two people left in the world and whatever. But this was real life, not a teen novel, and kissing Rei felt wonderful, yes, but not so good their bodies were plummeted into outer space, although, in some respects, it felt like that. His lips were soft, as he remembered from the brief kiss they shared after their first date, and they tasted how his hair and skin smelt like, which was an odd way of describing it, but that's what it was like. Rei's hands travelled up his damaged back and pulled him in closer, their bodies so close to touching.

Rei wanted this more than anything. Nagisa's lips were firmly pressed against his, his fingertips moving up his neck and along his jawline, causing goosebumps to erupt in his wake. Nagisa pulled away then, cupping his face in his hand and giggling.

"Sorry." he said softly, running his thumb over Rei's cheekbone. "I couldn't stop myself."

Rei ran his fingers down Nagisa's spine, making Nagisa arch his back a little. "Don't apologise." Rei smiled, loving the way Nagisa's back curved as he travelled further down his spine. "It's what we needed."

Nagisa let out a small moan as Rei moved his fingers back up and over his arched spine. "Oh, my God, stop that," Nagisa breathed, pulling his hand away from his back. "Are you trying to get me to sleep with you?"

Rei chuckled. "Maybe."

Nagisa smirked, before kissing him again, his lips greedier this time around, pulling on Rei's bottom lip and even running his tongue over the inside, enjoying himself a little too much.

Nagisa's tongue was a shock – he had no idea where it came from, or why it was inside _his _mouth, but he liked it, and he wanted more of it. Just very much elsewhere.

Nagisa pulled away once again, a string of saliva coming away with his tongue. "Sorry," Nagisa mumbled, wiping Rei's chin with the back of his hand. "My fault."

"You don't need to apologise every time we kiss." he chuckled.

Nagisa giggled, hiding his face in his hands as he blushed. "It's just embarrassing, that's all." he sighed into his hands, moving them away and winding his arms around Rei's neck. "You're a very good kisser, by the way."

Rei grinned. "As are you. I liked the saliva, by the way – very nice touch."

Nagisa dropped his head into Rei's shoulder, shuddering with embarrassment. "Shut it." he laughed, tightening his grip. "You try using your tongue."

"Maybe I will." Rei whispered into Nagisa's ear, and he went scarlet, raising his head.

"It wasn't an invitation." Nagisa grinned.

"But you still want me to, don't you?" Rei muttered.

Nagisa bit down on his lip. "Kinda."

He lowered his head and they shared another deep kiss. Then another, then another, then another, until they felt it was appropriate to stop, because his brother would be home, and finding them in that position would be more than embarrassing.

* * *

ha ha I'm so sorry this was more of a filler than anything else

I'm so happy you're all enjoying this! Thank you so much! Ilysm


	6. Engagement

For once there's no warning for this one! wow

Happy reading everybody!

* * *

It wasn't until Rei was at work the next day and he was drifting in and out of a hazy daydream that he realised he'd had his first make out with Nagisa on his brothers couch, like he was some horny teenager with no where to go, which wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth, either. He was rather disgusted in himself at the location, deciding it really could have been classier. He smiled to himself, slowly recovering to a more sensible position for the working environment.

_Since when has tonguing your date ever been considered classy? _he thought, shaking his head as he restarted his work, trying to suck himself back into writing up reports and profiles, but to no avail. He couldn't stop thinking about it - the way Nagisa would run his soft fingertips over his angular features, goose pimples erupting all over his skin in his wake, his light touch arousing. Then of course, were his lips - his sweet, supple lips connecting with his own, the taste he left behind a mixture of lust and allure, his teeth grazing his bottom lip as he pulled away was the icing on the messy, literal tongue-in-cheek cake, a shiver of anticipation shooting down his spine for whatever he could do next with that rowdy stripper he'd managed to end up in the hands of.

Nagisa's big, rose eyes, with that hauntingly beautiful crimson hue framing his iris', softening with desire was one thing he could not shake off, the way he batted his thick, blonde lashes at him and the tiniest hint of a smirk lifting the corner of the mouth that he had just so passionately kissed drove Rei positively insane. He wanted nothing more than to wipe that grin off his face by running his tongue over his lips, neck and chest, nipping his shoulders and kissing his jaw – but he couldn't do that, of course. He was still very much shaken about what had happened to him on his way home, and anyway – a few dates does not grant him full access to Nagisa's tattooed, pale, freckled body, that reacted wonderfully to Rei's sneaking touch. But it was still a marvellous thought to him that maybe they would eventually go that far, and Rei could show Nagisa that he wasn't the only one who could be slyly provocative. There was so much he wanted to do to him - kiss him, lick him, bite him all over. Grab his petite yet somewhat rather delectable ass and maybe even fuck him on the kitchen counter. He did want it to be romantic, of course he did, he loved anything completely cliché, whatever Haru or Rin said - but he could just tell that Nagisa was the kind of person to be more into that, which he didn't mind. He didn't mind it at all...

"Rei!"

Rei almost bit off his bottom lip in shock, crying out in pain and covering his mouth with his hand. He scowled as he raised his eyes, meeting those of a sapphire blue, who seemed to be laughing at him. Rei removed his hand and sighed irritably.

"Haru, you literally, very nearly, almost gave me a heart attack." he breathed, adjusting his glasses and sitting back in his seat.

"Whatever," Haru smiled slightly. "You were totally out of it."

"That does not give you the right to fucking jump at me!" Rei hissed. "Heart attacks run in my family, you know."

"It's not very likely that a long distance runner will have a heart attack," Haru sighed, tucking his hands in his coat pockets. "Stop being such a drama queen."

Rei didn't even bother to retaliate. "Why are you here?" he sighed deeply, turning back to his work. "I'm here to take you out for lunch." he stated, looking around the small office. "It's really a tight fit in here, huh?"

Rei glanced down at his wrist watch, furrowing his brow. "It's only half twelve." he adjusted it on his wrist, looking back up at Haru. "I can't leave now."

Haru shrugged. "Why not? Just leave now and come back at half one."

Rei raised his eyebrows, thinking about it. He'd never really thought about it like that before. "All right. I'll just let my boss know."

Once Miss. Greene had cleared his break, he and Haru headed out, the both of them walking in a companionable silence until they were in the elevator, where Haru finally pointed out that his lip had been bleeding.

"What?" Rei turned on his heel and stared at his lips in the mirror, finger to where he'd been chewing for God knows how long. "It hurts." he muttered, pressing his fingertip down on the cut.

"You were doing it when I arrived. It's not like you." Haru said with a faint, almost knowing smile. "What's on your mind?"

"Sexual frustration." Rei hummed, licking his thumb and rubbing away the dried blood. "Mainly, at least."

Haru sniggered. "I thought a stripper would be more open about that kind of thing."

Rei rolled his eyes, turning to face him. "Is this why you came to see me? To lecture me on my choices in men?" he raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his stomach and leaning against the wall of the elevator.

Haru shrugged. Rei sighed irritably for the second time, adjusting his scarf around his neck. "You're not my father, Haruka."

"Still a better one than you've got," Haru muttered, ignoring Rei's wince. "And I don't think a stripper is what you need."

Rei didn't say anything until they were both out of the elevator and making their way out of the seemingly empty building, their footsteps echoing in the open, deserted reception area, save the two women sat behind the reception desk. "Well, he's lovely, and he's gorgeous, and he's all I've ever wanted." he muttered, keeping his voice low so the women couldn't hear. "So, you can say what you want, Haru, but I'm not listening."

Haru just shrugged. "Voicing my opinion."

Rei couldn't help but chuckle, the tension melting away a little at his simply put statement. "And what made you think I wanted to hear it?"

Haru shrugged again - then smiled himself. "Makoto thinks it's nice. That you're dating again, I mean."

Rei grinned, half of him feeling rather smug, the other half loving his friend's boyfriend in that exact moment. "Well, I'm glad. How are things with you two?"

Haru paused, nuzzling his nose into his scarf, a light but frost bitten breeze brushing past the two friends as the doors swung open, the two of them stepping out into the busy streets of an Autumn afternoon, the sun still out, yet low in the grey patched sky, brief memories of summer still lingering in the sunbeams as they pierced their way through dark clouds promising a close rainstorm and bare trees that had so soon shed their dead leaves, the ones that had not been taken away by the breeze littered across the streets.

Rei raised his eyebrows, awaiting the hesitant reply of his raven haired companion, the both of them dodging people in the street as strangers barged into them without a second to care, too busy to care.

"Uh, it's OK." Haru said eventually, squaring his shoulders as a woman with a child in her arms bustled past him. "Yeah. It's OK. I guess."

Rei rested his hands on Haru's shoulders and steered him out of the way of a group of schoolgirls who were dressed in beanies and flyaway scarves over their winter uniforms, laughing and crowding around one girls phone, who was reading something aloud.

"You sound diffident." he chuckled, turning him down a much quieter street and rejoining him by his side. "I hate the saying, but does 'trouble in paradise' ring any bells?"

"It's not like that." Haru furrowed his brow, staring down at his worn down leather boots from last year as they trod on uneven paving and in mounds of dead leaves, his thought process quickly changing from his lover to whether he wanted to buy new boots for winter, or if they would last him another year. "I mean... Why diffident? I don't, do I?"

"Well, I don't know. Usually you're all loved up." Rei laughed at Haru's uneasy expression. "It's not a bad thing, you do love him."

Haru let out a small _humph_. "I know." he muttered into the wool of his winter wear, staring back down at his feet. "But..."

Rei crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at him. "But...?"

Haru shook his head, picking it back up and looking straight ahead. "Nothing. Where are we going to eat?"

They ended up in a small, quiet coffee shop on the edge of town, the two of them windswept as the light breeze had picked up considerably, noses and ears numb with cold, cheeks flushed and fingers frozen as they took two seats in the middle of it all and ordered two coffees and toasted sandwiches, wanting to do their best to warm themselves up. "Why did you come see me, anyway?" Rei asked, unbuttoning his pea coat and draping it across the back of his chair. "It was rather unexpected."

Haru shrugged a little. "I thought I'd come and see you - the last few Friday's have been hectic."

This was true. Haru had been held up at work after hours for over a month, so he was absent on their nights out, the three of them actually forgetting last time that he even came to the occasion. "You haven't missed out on much - Sousuke's shoulder is still pretty much a dud, Rin has managed to keep his girlfriend for another month, his sister is apparently in Sweden right now, but don't back me up on that one," Rei listed, counting them up on his fingers. "I managed to meet up with a friend of Rin's, but she's reluctant to call him. Uh... That's about it, really."

Haru smiled. "Rin's still with Gee? What a shock."

"I know." Rei pushed his glasses up his nose. "To be honest, I would have left two years ago, but that's my opinion. She does really love him."

Haru continued to smile. "He's not all that bad. He takes care of her and doesn't let her take shit off of anybody. So that's got to be something."

The waitress walked over and set the two large coffees before them, the steam rolling off the top of the almost black liquid, the sight warming Rei up already. He stirred milk into his thoughtfully, mind flitting back to college. "He's also a rather good kisser."

Haru hid his mouth behind his mug, but Rei just knew he was laughing, his shoulders shaking.

"It's true," Rei chuckled. "It only takes one game of spin the bottle and maybe too much alcohol."

Haru didn't remove the mug from his lips until he'd stopped laughing, the thought of Rin kissing Rei, or visa versa, actually quite humorous. Once their sandwiches came, they ate in peace, Rei not realising how hungry he was until he took a bite of his tuna panini. He ate one half in three mouthfuls, and was about to start on the other when Haru started to talk again.

"I actually wanted to tell you something." Haru said softly, setting his sandwich down and wiping his fingers on a handkerchief. "It's pretty... Major, I suppose."

Rei braced himself for bad news, but still wanted to keep a cool demeanour, so he lifted his coffee and took a sip. "Mmm?"

Haru cleared his throat. "Makoto... Makoto asked me to marry him."

Rei almost chocked on his drink, the heat scalding the back of his throat. He coughed, fanning his face as his eyes began to water. "Christ, Haru!" he wheezed, slipping off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Give me some warning!"

"Sorry," Haru said solemnly.

"Well, what did you say?" Rei breathed, still rubbing his bottom eyelid with his knuckle, before settling his glasses back on his face.

Haru was silent for a little while, staring down at his half eaten grilled cheese and letting out a soft, delicate sigh. "I said yes."  
Rei widened his eyes, sitting forwards. "Y-You..."

Haru held out his hand, and sure enough, a simple, gold ring was fitted on his ring finger. Rei covered his mouth with his hands. "Holy _shit_, Haruka Nanase, you better not be joking."

Haru shook his head, face deadpan. "No. Look," he pulled out his phone and presented to him a photograph of the kids at Makoto's swimming club holding up a sign that read '_Will you marry me?_' in red and green lettering.

Rei shook his head, laughing a little too loudly. "No way," he breathed, covering his mouth with his hands. "So you're actually...?"

"Engaged." Haru finished for him, picking up his sandwich again. "I'll give you some time."

Whilst Haru ate, so carefully and completely aware of Rei's disbelieving demeanour, Rei sat thre with his face in his hands, staring at the ring on Haru's finger, wondering how in the _world _he never noticed it before. When Haru finished his sandwich, Rei spoke again. "So... Marriage, huh?" he stumbled. For once in his life, he was at a loss for words.

Haru nodded. "Mmm. I'm actually kind of excited. Makoto wants a spring wedding." he shrugged, as if he weren't too bothered. "But I kind of want to get married straight away."

Rei still hadn't gotten his head around his best friends response to all this. "So... Are you going to have kids? And everything?"

"Probably," Haru shrugged again, sipping his coffee.

Rei stared at him, wondering how he could stay so calm. "I don't know what to say. My God..." he started to laugh again. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you. I mean, wow, this is amazing! But... Wow, Haru, you're growing up."

Haru cracked a smile then. "Maybe I am. Some of us have to." he set his mug down. "Whenever we get married, Rei, I would like you to be there."  
Rei shook his head, as if it were obvious. "Well, of course! I wouldn't not turn up to my friend's wedding."

Haru smile widened. "No, Rei, of course, I mean... I want you to be my best man."  
Rei felt a tightening in his throat, beginning to get choked up, a rush of love for his friend bringing tears to his eyes. "Haru, really?" he breathed, blinking away tears. "God... Do you trust me?"

Haru nodded, laughing. "Of course I do! You're my closest friend. Why wouldn't I?"

Rei stood, walked over to Haru's side of the table, and as his friend stood too, he wound his arms around him, tight. "Thank you, Haru."  
Haru hugged him in return, patting his taller friend on the back, as if he were comforting him. "No, thank you, Rei."

* * *

Ai was discharged that afternoon, and both Momo and Nagisa were there to walk him home. Ai was expecting Nagisa's bone crushing embrace, clinging to his shirt like a child would to their mother and complaining that he smelt like hospitals and those rubber gloves doctors use, but, nevertheless, he was happy to see his best friend again. The hug he was not expecting was off Momo – he wasn't a hugging person, although he did like holding hands for some reason. Ai had never liked holding hands, as his were always cold and dry, but Momo had odd hot and clammy ones, and even when Ai's hands were chilled to the bone, Momo's hand always managed to get sweaty. It wasn't exactly the sweetest of gestures, is what Ai would like to say to him, but he looked so happy when he was doing it, so he never had the heart to. Momo was now clinging to him like a baby monkey, chin on his shoulder as he held him tight. Not Nagisa's I'm-going-to-collapse-your-internal-organs tight, just a comfortable, somewhat loving tightness that Ai could handle. It was nice.

The three of them sat at the bus stop together, happily chatting about the last few days, Nagisa teasing Ai constantly, as if Momo wasn't there, but he didn't understand half the taunts anyway, so, as long as he didn't mention the 'R' word, he let him get on with it.

"I'm at work tonight!" Nagisa exclaimed at one point. "So it's just you two. Alone. For ten or so hours."

Nagisa winked at Ai, and he kicked him in the ankle, causing him to cry out in shock, and then whine in pain as he pulled his knee to his chest and nursed his injury.

"Ouch," he mumbled, scowling at the smug face. "That really hurt."

"Good," Ai huffed, bringing his bag up his shoulder. "You're such a little shit sometimes. Learn to shut up."

Nagisa pouted. "I know, but you don't have to be rude about it. To be honest, I'm surprised poor old Rei hasn't gotten rid of me yet."

Momo sat straight up, as if it were a reflex. "_Ding ding ding_!" he cried, turning his head towards Nagisa and Ai, the both of them looking very confused. "We have ourselves a winner! The person to mention their dates name at least one thousand times in less than twenty-four fucking hours. Congrats, you're an ass."

Nagisa kicked _his _ankle, but harder. "Fuck off, at least I have a date." he retaliated, bobbing out his tongue.

"Nice, mature." Momo muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Maybe we should have tally chart."

"We should give him a gold star every time he gets to one hundred." Ai added, and Momo laughed.  
Nagisa sunk lower in his seat. "You don't get it."  
Momo let out a short, sharp breath. "Don't get what? That you love him?"

Nagisa's face turned bright red, and he hid it behind his hands, making the other two laugh. "No, I don't!" he mumbled, listening to his friends teasing chortles. "Don't say that!"

Ai wound his arms around him, cooing. "I think it's sweet!" he giggled, making Nagisa cringe all the more. "Don't be embarrassed!"

Nagisa sighed dramatically. "But it becomes real when you say it out loud." he muttered, lips still in a small pout.

Momo spluttered. "You actually love him? I was joking!" he pressed his hand against Nagisa's forehead. "Are you feeling OK?"

Nagisa slapped his hand away and pulled himself out of Ai's embrace. "Just shut up about it."

"Wow, all right. I didn't think you'd be so sensitive." Momo muttered, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. "I just thought-"

"Well, don't." Nagisa snapped, narrowing his eyes at him. "It's just a silly crush, it's nothing."

The three of them sat in silence for a few moments, Nagisa biting down on his fingernails, staring down at his feet and letting out a tiny sigh. "How was the hospital?" he asked Ai, raising his eyes.

Ai shrugged. "It was OK. The nurses were nice. I have to go back next week."

"Why?" Momo asked, leaning forwards. "I thought, you know, you were OK."

Ai shrugged again. "I am. I mean, I think I am. But I still have to see a psych."

His two friends blinked, eyes disbelieving every word. "Oh..."

Ai smiled brightly. "Don't look so shocked. I'm going to get better! Don't worry."

Both Momo and Nagisa frowned at him. "We're going to worry about you, Ai."

Ai bit down on his lip. "Yeah, I know..." he smiled again. "It's OK though."

Nagisa nodded once. "Yeah. Yeah, it is. As long as you're happy-"

"Oh, of course!" he smiled slightly. "Of course I am. I'm OK."

* * *

_**Rin**__: Why did you get to be best man?_

_**Rin**__: I would have been better _

_**Rin**__: And Makoto's having bridesmaids _

_**Rin**__: He asked Gee to be one of them _

_**Rin**__: I mean im happy for them but wow I would have been a great best man _

_**Rei**__: Are you finished? _

_**Rin**__: No I think I deserve to be the best man _

_**Rei**__: You can be the best man at my wedding._

_**Rin**__: And when do you plan on getting married _

_**Rei**__: This is the reason why you weren't on Haru's list – you're rude about it. _

_**Rin**__: I was probably like second or third _

_**Rei**__: Mmm. Doubt that. _

_**Rin**__: Fuck you _

_**Rei**__: Right back at you. _

Rei was expecting a conversation like that sooner with either Rin or Sousuke, but better late than never, he'd always supposed. It was odd to think that his childhood friend was getting married so soon. The first of the group to grow up. The first of them to move in with their partner, the first to get married, the first to have children. Rin and Gee weren't even living together, but that's only because Gee had to look after her dad, as he was paralysed fro the waist down some decades ago, so she lived with him. Her mother left him somewhere down the line too, so that didn't help their situation. Rin had always said that he didn't mind it, but they all knew he would prefer it if they were together all the time, and Gee is more openly affectionate, so she often hints at Rin that maybe she'll get nurses to take care of her father soon. Despite what Rei, Haru, Sousuke and sometimes even his own sister said about their relationship, with their seemingly constant bickers and Rin always being stiff and unresponsive towards Gee's displays of adoration, they really did love each other. More than Rei could actually explain.

His texts were always amusing, no matter what he said to Rei, whether it be rude or otherwise, and he was always a good person to talk to whenever you felt a little lost. All of his friends were, really – they'd all been stuck in some kind of rut at one point in their lives, and it was a great comfort to them that they could talk to each other about it, even though some were more disclosed than others. Rei was lucky to have the friends he had, and he thought about how that was very occasionally. Sometimes he wouldn't think about it at all, and would flat out say that he'd hated at least one of them for a period of time. But this was not one of those times. He loved them, married or not, and they were the best he'd ever had.

Later that evening, when the sun was just about to disappear behind the dark of the night, the sky a mixture of a beautiful orange and inky blue, and Rei was just about to take Destrey out for a short walk, crouching as he clipped on his lead when he received a call. A number he did not have in his contacts flashed up. Confused, he answered cautiously.

"Hello?" he said slowly. "Who is this?"

The breathing was short, sharp, as if the person was crying. "Rei? Oh, God, Rei!" the voice continued to sob.

"Gee? Whatever is the matter?" Rei breathed, running his free hand over Destrey's back. "Is it Rin?"

"No, no, i-it's nothing like that... I know this is weird, and you're probably not the person I should be telling this to... We're not even close friends!"

Rei smiled sadly. "I'd say we were. You can tell me anything, Gee. What's wrong?" _I've already dealt with some heavy stuff this week, maybe this will top it all off. _

"God, OK... I don't even know why I'm crying. I've told my mom and Rose – you know Rose, right?"

"Vaguely." Rei said, trying to fit the name to a face of Gee's many friends.

"Well, I was going to tell Rin but I don't think I have the guts to, and Rin is like your best friend, so I supposed it would be the same..."

_It's not at all the same, _Rei thought, pressing his forehead against Destrey's side.

"But, anyway, you're understanding, and kind, so I thought you'd be a good person to tell..."

Something clicked in Rei's mind, and he sat back on his heels, staring at the blank wall before him as his stomach knotted. "God, you're not pregnant, are you?"

A short silence followed, and Rei could feel his brain shutting down. _Fuck_. He leaned forwards and hid his face in Destrey's fur, letting out a deep, long sigh.

"How did you know?"

"Well!" Rei started, bringing his head up. "These kind of things come in threes, right? That's how the superstition goes. So, my best friend is getting married, my other friend is going to be a dad, and-"

Gee audibly swallowed. "That's the thing... I don't think it's Rin's."

Rei froze, his heart stopping for at least a millisecond, stomach dropping to his knees as her words sunk in.

"What?" he managed to choke, biting down on his hand to stop himself from saying anything else, wanting to yell all sorts of abuse at her, but, of course, he didn't know the full story. But he was ninety five percent sure that she was just a cheating trash heap.

"We haven't had sex for months, because he's always busy with work or whatever, and I went out with my friends, and I hooked up with someone. I was drunk, but I know who it was. But it's still possible that it could be his, because after that, like a week later, I stayed over his. But I think he was wearing a condom."

Rei wanted to scream. How _stupid _could she be? He always thought her a shy, caring and loyal girl who loved her long-term boyfriend, not an idiotic, cheating bitch who gets bored if she doesn't have sex for more than a week. But, people can surprise you, which he'd been learning this past month.

"You know what, Gee? I think you should tell Rin. Just tell him you've been sleeping around behind his back and getting pregnant with other guys kids while he goes to work and does his best to keep you happy. He fucking loves you, Gee. You should know that." Rei snapped viciously, hands curling into tight fists. "He loves you so much. Don't you dare tell me you love him, too. If you did, you wouldn't fucked someone else in the first place."

Gee sniffed. "I know. I know, I'm a bad person. I'm an awful, awful person... Oh, God." she started to weep again, sobs desperate. "Please don't tell him, Rei."

Rei grit his teeth. "Nah. I'll leave it to you." he muttered bitterly, and he hung up, this new, unfamiliar rage blinding him, and he threw his ridiculously expensive phone against the wall in utter despair, making Destrey jump a little, his ears pricking back. His screen cracked, and the impact left a dent in the wall, but the problem was still there – so heart wrenchingly painful and desperately real. Rei sat back against the wall, letting out a slow, calm breath. _It's OK_, he thought, slipping off his glasses and rubbing where they pinched the bridge of his nose. _Rin is much more stable than I am. He'll be all right._

Destrey started to whine then, tail between his legs and eyes big and desperate, begging Rei for a walk, or at least a short one so he could pee.

"All right, Des." he sighed sadly, slowly standing. "Let's get you out, huh?"

He picked up his phone to inspect the damage. It wasn't as bad as Nagisa's, and it still worked, and that was all that mattered. He tucked it into his jacket pocket, picked up Destrey's leash, and unlocked the apartments door, hoping this walk in the late evening would clear his mind a little.

* * *

Nagisa jumped atop of the bar and smiled sweetly at the new bartender, who raised an eyebrow back.

"Don't try charm your way into a free drink, sweets, it ain't gonna work." the woman deadpanned, but a small smile played on her painted lips.

"What? I wouldn't dare." he grinned, crossing his legs over and pointing his toes. "You look like a clever girl, you wouldn't fall for my tricks."

"Damn right." she laughed, tucking her bright red hair behind a mousy ear, which was heavily decorated in silver hoops and star studs. "I'm sure all the boys are falling over themselves after you."

Nagisa tipped his head back as he laughed. "I wish!" he started pulling dollar bills out of his underwear one by one, counting them up. "These people have a nerve."

The bartender grinned. "Not pleased?"

"No! Look at this!" he held out a one dollar bill for her. "That's one dollar. _One. _That won't even get me a good candy bar."

She laughed. "Aw, honey, you shook your cute ass for nothing."

Nagisa shrugged. "It's standard tipping. The biggest bill I ever got was a fifty, and I think he did that by accident, but I wasn't complaining!" he fanned the bills before his face. "Sixty-two dollars."

The woman raised her eyebrows. "Not bad."

"My friend always gets just above one hundred. No idea how he does it. He's a bit weird when it comes to performing..." he said slowly, folding the bills over and stuffing them back in his underwear.

"Oh, I know him! He's got bright orange hair, right?" she asked, and Nagisa nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, that's him." he looked over at her, watching her clean a beer glass that looked almost spotless. "What's your name?"

She set the glass down. "Cherry. Well, that's my nickname. Because of my hair." she winked at him, and Nagisa giggled, charmed by her cheeky personality.

"Well, some people call me Blondie, but my real name is Nagisa. Call me whatever, though, I don't really mind."

Cherry beamed. "It's lovely to meet you. You're the first of your stripper friends to talk to me."

Nagisa nodded his head, finger to his lips. "Mmm, well, the last one tried it on with my best friend and then touched one of the pole dancers, so that's probably why they're scared." he smiled over at her. "But you don't seem pervy."  
Cherry laughed out loud. "Not at all! This ring is firmly on my finger, thanks very much." she cried, holding up her hand and displaying a white gold ring with a flower design.

"Ah! That's beautiful!" Nagisa breathed, holding out a gloved hand. "Can I see?"

Cherry lay her hand in his so he could take in her prized possession, a proud smile fixed on her lips.

"Wow... Who's the lucky guy?" Nagisa whispered, running his thumb over the engraved pattern.

"_She _is an army medic. Her name is Lola. I don't see her much, she's always away in Vietnam or wherever. I miss her." she sighed sadly, moving her hand away and twisting the ring around her finger.

"I bet you do! You'll fit right in around here. Everyone is gay in one way or another." Nagisa smiled sweetly. "You're the very first lesbian, though. Welcome!"

Cherry laughed. "Thank you! I'll keep that in mind." she squinted at him, eyebrow raised. "I think I might slip you a little drink, honey, but don't tell anyone, OK?"

Nagisa winked at her. "Our little secret."

* * *

"Helloooo?" Nagisa sang as he entered the apartment, way too happy and a little bit drunk.

"Shut it, Ai's asleep." Momo hissed, peering his head around the living room door. "Are you drunk?"

Nagisa made a pinching motion with his fingers. "Only a ditty-bit. Why are you still up?" he tip-toed over to him and brushed his nose with his fingertip. "Worried about me?"

"Well, yes. You got assaulted only a day ago." Momo said softly. "How do you feel about that now? Don't you have an appointment tomorrow?"

Nagisa waved his hand about, knocking him off. "I'm fine, fine! Darling Rei made me get one because he was worried I sprained my wrist, bless him. I'm OK, though. How was Ai?"

Momo shrugged. "All right. He was a bit weird around me, but I guess it's expected." he frowned at Nagisa, who'd started giggling. "What?"

Nagisa brushed his nose again. "Never you mind! Ai and I need a chat, that's all." he shrugged off his coat and threw it over his arm. "I'm super starving. Do we have any noodles?"

"Go look. I'm off to bed." Momo sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you were OK."

Nagisa grinned at him. "Oh, you're so sweet!" he kissed his nose this time. "I love you!"  
Momo chuckled, rubbing the tip. "OK. Goodnight, Nagisa."

Nagisa searched the cupboards for something to eat once Momo was in bed, rustling through packets and shifting cans, until he settled on a bowl of Cheerios, sitting on the kitchen table with his legs crossed, staring out of the kitchen window at the night sky, the stars dimmed by light pollution and the edges of the darkness stained with the bright orange light of the street lamps below. A vibration on the table startled him, a bright LED glow breaking up the calming darkness. Nagisa reached over and lifted the phone off the table, which he recognised as Momo's, squinting at the screen. The name 'Gee' was displayed, and Nagisa furrowed his brow.

_Gee?_ he thought, opening the text. _Rei's friend?_

_**Gee**_**: **_We need to talk. I have something important to tell you. _

Nagisa bit down on his lip. What has he done now? He couldn't resist – he had to text her back.

_**Mo: **__What is it? _

_**Gee: **__Can I call you? _

Nagisa swallowed.

_**Mo: **__No, sorry, my room mates are asleep. You can still tell me, though. _

The reply was slower than the last one, and Nagisa was trembling. As well as pretending to be his friend, the possible situation that Momo could have gotten himself into was nerve racking.

_**Gee: **__Well, you know, a few weeks back, when we had that thing? _

_Shit,_ Nagisa thought, covering his mouth with his hand. _He didn't, did he? _

_**Gee: **__I mean, I'm not 100%, not yet, but I'm pregnant. And I think it's yours. _

Nagisa hid his face in his hands, letting out a long, shaky sigh. _Mo... For fucks sake, Momo, you absolute dick. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

Nagisa had to reply, despite all the words he wanted to say to him and her, he composed himself and put himself in Momo's shoes.

_**Mo: **__Maybe we should talk about this some other time. Are you sure you're pregnant? _

_**Gee: **__I went to the doctors. I'm sure. _

"Fuck, Momo!" Nagisa hissed.

The kitchen light flicked on and Nagisa turned his head, seeing Momo stood there in a t-shirt and boxers, rubbing his eyes. "Do you have my phone?" he yawned.

Nagisa dropped the empty bowl beside him, hopped off the kitchen table, and held out his phone, which were still displaying the texts. "You're a fucking idiot, Mo." he snapped, narrowing his eyes.

Momo shook his head. "What? Were you on my phone?" he yanked it out of his hands and scrolled through each text, shaking his head. "What...?"

Nagisa clenched his fists. "You got a girl _pregnant_." he hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "How could you be so stupid?"

Momo shook his head again, at a loss for words. "I-I-I don't know... How..." he swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, realisation settling in. "But she said she wasn't one hundred percent sure. It could be someone else's."

"Like her boyfriends, maybe?" Nagisa cried, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him vigorously. "God, I cannot believe you!"

Momo spluttered. "She has a boyfriend?"

"Isn't that the kind of thing you should ask before you sleep with someone?" Nagisa breathed, and Momo shrugged.

"You're such an idiot... Oh, my God..." he covered his face in his hands, letting out a long groan. "That's Rei's friend. Rei's best friend's girlfriend."

Momo made a small 'o' with his mouth. "Oh. Oh, God. Oh, shit."

Nagisa raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah. Whoopsy daisy. Should have thought about that, huh?"

"Well, how was I supposed to know? She came onto me!"

"And suddenly it's her fault!" Nagisa shook him again, but harder this time. "_You_ fucking slept with her! _You_ got her pregnant! You-!"  
"You got who pregnant?"

Ai was stood in the doorway with an empty glass, his big, blue eyes blinking up at Momo.

"This dick got Rei's best friend's girlfriend pregnant." Nagisa snapped, throwing his hands down to his sides. "I could slap you."  
Ai stared at Momo. "Is that true?" he bit down on his lip. "What are you going to do?"

Momo fell backwards into a chair and stared blankly at the kitchen floor. "I don't know." he said softly, and to their surprise, he started to cry.

Nagisa softened, his hands relaxing from fists, letting out a small sigh. "Come on, Mo, there's no need to get upset. You don't have to push it out of your vagina." he said gently.

He sniffed. "I know, but... Why didn't I think to ask her? Or at least use a condom. It's not like they're expensive."

Ai patted his back affectionately, trying to soothe him. "There, there. It's not all that bad. There's no reason for Nagisa to tell his boyfriend about this."  
"He's not my boyfriend." Nagisa sighed. "But, yeah, he's right. I won't tell him a thing."

Momo continued to sob nonetheless. "He's going to beat me up. I can't get beaten up."  
Both Nagisa and Ai laughed in spite of themselves. "I'm sure he won't, stop being so dramatic." Ai smiled, squeezing his shoulder. "He has no idea who you are."

* * *

Rei was having difficulty keeping his mouth shut. It was a Friday, and that meant meeting up with Rin, Sousuke, and Haruka at the same place and time as every other week. He wanted nothing more than to tell him, or anyone. Anyone who would listen. It was driving him insane. Every time he walked past a picture of him and Gee, or of Gee and Rin, he had to turn it away, otherwise he would feel himself getting angry for no reason at all. How _could _she? How _could _she do such a thing to some one who loved her as much as Rin did? He went on a run straight after work for the first time since Springtime, needing to use this unnecessary build-up of rage in one way or another. He did laps of the park where he always walked Destrey, the brisk cold causing his cheeks to flush red and nose start to run, so every few metres he had to wipe it with the sweat band around his wrist. There have been so many things in the past that have caused him displeasure, take his father, for example. That man has tested his patience for a good ten years or so, but he hadn't done anything about it. Now there was this, and there was nothing he could do to help it. Once again powerless in a nasty situation he wished he'd never gotten in to.

He returned home quite late, so he had a quick shower and changed into a fresh outfit, and he was about to head out again when he received a text.

_**Rin: **__Gee told me you yelled at her last night. Why did you do that? _

This text chilled Rei, rather than making him angry, and he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the use of punctuation, or correct spelling?

_**Rei: **__I never did. I don't know why she would tell you that. Has she told you anything other than that recently? Maybe something important?_

_**Rin**_**: **_She would tell me if something was wrong. I trust her. _

_**Rei: **__Maybe we can have this conversation in a little while. I'm on my way to the bar right now. See you there. _

_**Rin: **__I'm not going tonight. Gee's sick, so I'm looking after her. Tell me why you were rude to her. _

Rei grit his teeth. _What a manipulative little bitch, _He thought, tightening his fingers around his phone. _Well, I can play that card too. _

**_Rei: _**_Why don't you ask her yourself? I think her reasons are better than mine. See you later. _

Haru and Sousuke stared at Rei, who seemed to be chewing his lip again, curiosity getting the better of them.

"Are you sexually frustrated again, Rei?" Haru asked eventually, and Sousuke raised his eyebrows, pressing his glass to his lips.

"No," he snapped, nudging his glasses up his nose. "I'm just frustrated."

"With what?" Haru sat his head in his hand. "Usually you'll just grunt nonsense to yourself."

"Like when Rin made your ex kiss him." Sousuke smiled.

"Or when Makoto spilt juice all over your new shirt." Haru expanded.

"All right, OK, whatever, I get it, I get it." Rei sighed irritably, looking between the two pairs of blue eyes looking back at him. "It's not important."  
"Well, if it's making you that angry, it's got to be." Haru said, narrowing his eyes at him. "I've known you since second grade, I know when some thing's up."

"No, actually, we weren't friends until ninth grade." Rei corrected.

"I know who you lost your virginity to," Sousuke grinned. "Does that mean anything?"

Rei rolled his eyes, which he found himself doing a great deal of when he was around these two. Haru leant forwards. "Is it Nagisa? Has he said something?"

"No, Haru, it's not Nagisa." Rei sighed deeply, letting his shoulders slouch over. "It's... It's Gee."

The two of them blinked. "Huh?"

"Yeah, and Rin. Sort of." Rei muttered bitterly, tapping the side of his glass with his nail. "I don't think I should tell you why. Well, he sent me this before I left."  
He held out his phone towards them, and Sousuke tutted. "Pathetic. You're rude to me all the time."  
"That's not the point," Rei sighed, looking back down at his cracked screen. "I don't think... Whatever. You know what? Fuck her. I'll tell you. But you cannot repeat this to anyone, not even Makoto, all right?"

They both nodded, dumbfounded by Rei's choice of words. He retold the story as he new it, which is really what Gee had told him over the phone, and soon his two friends realised why he'd been acting so strangely. Sousuke couldn't help but grin. "This is pretty inappropriate, but hey, who told him she was trouble?" he raised his eyebrows, lifting his glass.

Rei nodded, suddenly finding himself cooling off as soon as he'd let the secret slip. "Yeah. I know."  
"Wow. Why would anyone do that? Does she even know who it was?" Haru breathed.

Rei shrugged, almost laughing. "I don't know. I don't care! I just want her to tell Rin so she's out of his life for good."  
"I hope she fucking does. I don't want a pregnant cheat at my wedding." Haru muttered darkly. "Even if it is his, I hope he sees sense."

Sousuke shrugged. "I don't know, he didn't get rid of the girl he was with beforehand for months." he shook his head with a sigh. "He always lands himself with the worst people."  
"To be fair to him, though, Gee is actually a really nice person. Just this wasn't exactly a great thing to do." Haru bit down on his lip. "So, I can't tell Makoto?"

Rei was just about to settle down into bed when he received another text.

_**Momo**_:_Hi Rei! Its Nagisa! Just wanted to let you no that the apointment went ok and that my arm is spraind but it shud be ok in a few weeks! I hope your ok! :D xxx_

_**Rei: **__Good, I'm glad. Did they bandage it up for you? And yes, I'm all right, but I could be better. What about you?xxx_

_**Momo: **__Oh yes they did so its suported and stuff and I'm also good, Ai got let out from the hospital early but hes tired all the time and momo is a bit of a grump like always! xxx_

_**Rei: **__That's good to hear. I hope you're looking after him, it takes a lot out of you, being hospitalised. xxx_

_**Momo:**__I am dont worry! I would look after you too if you ever got sick! we would have a duvet day! xxx_

_**Rei: **__A duvet day? xxx_

_**Momo:**__Yes! its wen you spend the hole day in bed me and my little sister did it all the time when she was sick bc she wud get sick a lot :c xxx_

_**Rei: **__That sounds delightful. Maybe we could have one soon, minus one of us getting ill? xxx_

_**Momo: **__That sounds good! I love spending time w/ you, its always fun! esp. if I can do stuff to you under it_ _;))) xxx_

Rei almost choked on his water when he received this, a heat burning his cheeks.

_**Momo: **__Omg mo just saw that text he wants his phone back! xxx_

_**Rei: **__Before you do, could I ask you to come to a party with me? xxx _

_**Momo: **__Wow, ofc! whats the special ocasion? xxx_

_**Rei: **__My friends are getting married and they're having an engagement party. I would love it if you could accompany me. xxx_

_**Momo: **__I wud loooove to! Thank you Rei! I better go now, so see you soon maybe? Goodnight Rei! xxx_

_**Rei: **__Of course. See you soon. Goodnight, Nagisa. xxx_

* * *

Sorry this chapter is a bit weird and short and mainly texting-based, but I ran out of ideas a little bit for this one (i know the whole basis of the story line, I just didn't really know which direction to go in with this chapter) but in the next chapter it'll be structured much better! Sorry again of it's not to your standard or whatever.

I apologise for any grammatical errors! Also, rates and reviews are very much appreciated! Thank you so much for reading! xo


	7. Nostalgia

Unexpected update woop! I really really like this chapter, it's super cute and it's pretty much just v sweet reigisa fluff. I find myself liking one chapter and disliking the other, and I'm not even sure why. I suppose that's just writing, and also partly because of lack of confidence in it, too. But, thank you to those who are supporting me and to those who are reading this! It means so much to me, you have no idea!

TW: mentions of drug abuse, anxiety, panic attacks and it's a bit NSFW (but it's only dirty talk, so dw)

Happy reading!

* * *

Heavy knocking at the front door disturbed Nagisa out of his well-deserved slumber, the sound seeming to not go away no matter how much he wanted it to. He flung back his covers and yawned, rubbing his eyes. He had gotten quite an early night, but that didn't mean his body was ready to start the day. Not yet, at least. He pulled himself up, despite the cold of the apartment and the fatigue still sat behind his eyelids, going to answer the door - but someone got there first.

"Yes?" Ai answered, sounding annoyed.

Nagisa creaked open his bedroom door, peeping through the gap, wanting to see who it was.

"Good morning. Is Nagisa awake? I would like to see him."

It was Rei. Nagisa rolled his eyes. Of course he was up this early. Of course he was up and ready at... Nagisa turned his head, glancing at the clock on his bedside table. Eleven AM!? _Still too early for me, _Nagisa thought, pouting his lips as he watched Rei from the corner of his eye.

Ai yawned. "Well, I'm not sure. I could wake him up." he then smiled up at him, remembering what he had said and done for his friend. "Thank you for looking after him the other night. He's still a bit... You know." he tilted his head a bit. "Touchy."

Rei shook his head. "Oh, no, it's fine. It was in my best interests." he tucked his hands in his jacket pockets. "If I sound rude, I apologise, but haven't you just come out of hospital?"

Ai nodded. "Mm. No, it's fine. I'm not bothered." he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm all right. I guess. My friends are taking care of me, so what more could I ask for?"

Rei smiled kindly. "Good. I'm glad."

Ai gave him a grin. "Want to come in? I'm sure Nagisa will be crawling out of bed sometime soon."

It was a blessing that Ai answered the door first. Nagisa looked rough, and not the sexy kind of rough, either. It was the 'I-look-like-the-walking-dead' kind, which he seemed to be sporting just recently. He managed to get dressed quickly, not wanting to leave Rei with Ai for too long, just in case he pulled a Momo and repeated something utterly embarrassing about him that did not need to be reminisced. Whilst he was brushing his teeth, he picked up on a different conversation going on outside the bathroom, and he could just about make out Momo's voice, which sounded rather distressd. He stopped scrubbing for only a few seconds, his curiosity causing him more trouble than it was worth.

"Well, if you don't tell him... Yes, I know, but... It's not like I don't know him... Well, my friend is dating his friend, it's not like we're on different sides of the world... It's all a bit too close for comfort..."

Nagisa sighed deeply, brushing his teeth again. _What an idiot. _He thought, spitting into the basin. _What a fucking idiot._ He still hadn't gotten over the fact that he'd gone off and slept with someone's girlfriend. Or that he'd actually managed to pull himself a woman. A very attractive woman, from what Nagisa had seen. He cleaned off his toothbrush and gargled mouthwash for longer than really necessary, bad breath being the last thing he wanted.

Rei was perched on one of the sofas, sipping milky coffee and admiring how efficient and seemingly happy Ai was after being told the news of his mother's passing and being hospitalised for a breakdown. He'd made him a drink, then told him he would go and see whether Nagisa was actually awake or not, before leaving him in the lounge by himself, which he did not mind in the slightest. It was an odd little apartment, nothing like his at all. It was littered with odd bits of furniture, like mismatching sofa's and armchairs, which were actually surprisingly comfortable. A coffee table littered with magazines and whatever else sat in the middle of the room, and behind it was a decently sized television, which actually looked much bigger than his own. There were no framed pictures or anything along those lines, but there were indie movie posters hanging on the walls, and those themselves were painted a dark blue. A cabinet sat beside the TV, and one draw was sat open. Rei sighed deeply, the cleanliness and neatness of their apartment was lacking, and all he wanted to do was start cleaning it up for them, but of course, he couldn't. So, he sat still, concentrating on his kindly made drink, staring down at his feet.

Eventually, Nagisa made an appearance, dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a light blue, long sleeved shirt, which hid his bandages and bruises, so Rei couldn't see how they were looking.

"Good morning, Nagisa." Rei greeted lightly, smiling gently at him, and Nagisa noticed, in the pale sunlight that managed to push it's way through dark rain clouds, a five o'clock shadow that ran along his jawline, which bought out his sharper features, ones that made Nagisa's heart skip a beat.

He laughed it off, collapsing down next to him on his knees, not too mindful of his hot drink, and running his fingers over his whiskers. "What's this? Trying to impress me?" he winked at him, resting his arm on his shoulder.

"No, I just didn't have time to shave this morning. I had to do something for work." he chuckled at Nagisa's smirking face. "Why?"

Nagisa shook his head. "I don't know, I quite like it." he kissed his cheek, then giggled. "It tickles a bit, though."

Rei set his drink down on the coffee table where there was room, and rubbed his jaw. "It's itchy, too." he muttered.

"So, this new look is a one off, then?" he grinned, cocking his head to one side.

"It wasn't one to start with." Rei chuckled, still rubbing his face. "But, I'm glad I amused you."

Nagisa wound his arms around his broad shoulders and pressed his cheek against his head, closing his eyes, loving the feeling of his soft hair against his bare skin. "I actually kind of missed you, you know." he sighed, squeezing him gently.

Rei smiled, his heart glowing with an unexpected rush of love for this odd little character. "I only saw you two days ago." he chuckled, letting himself fall into the smaller ones embrace.

Nagisa nuzzled his head. !But I couldn't text you, so I missed you." he mumbled, still feeling slightly tired and very clingy, wanting to hold Rei like this until his arms ached. "You and your funny little texts."

Rei chuckled. "My texts are funny?"

Nagisa nodded, squeezing him again. "Yes! You use proper punctuation and stuff, like you're writing a story." he grinned, cocking his head to one side so he could see Rei's face properly.

"I don't like text speak, that's all." he said, and Nagisa sighed.

"I know. I can tell!" he lay his freckled cheek atop his unusually unkempt hair and closed his eyes again, wanting to stay like this forever, Rei's broad build like a great, cosy wall he could lean against, listening to his slow breaths and quickening heartbeat. Nagisa pulled away after a few moments of thoughtful silence, when Rei was actually enjoying the warm presence of Nagisa's clasping hands and unexpectedly strong arms, the feeling of being held having not been present in his life for quite a long time.

Nagisa pressed his nose against his cheek and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I like the scruffy you." he smiled against his cheek.

Rei laughed. "What?"

Nagisa ran a hand over his messy hair, smoothing it down for him. "This! And your beard! What happened since Wednesday!?" he cried, shifting his fringe, that was usually ever so neatly pushed back, out of his eyes. "Can I get you a hair clip?"

"No," he said firmly, running his fingers through it. "Like I said, I woke up late, so I had no time to do anything."

Nagisa pulled off his glasses, sticking them on over his own face, before blinking rapidly, then squinting, looking like a little old mole that had just been disturbed from its slumber. "Jesus Christ, are you blind?" he breathed, trying his best to focus his eyes through the lenses. "Like, for real, completely, legally blind?"

Rei shook his head with a smile. "No. I can see short distances." he turned to face him, squinting his own eyes a bit, barely making out the distinguishing golden flecks that were scattered over Nagisa's face. "I can just about see your freckles." he said softly, reaching out and running a finger over his cheek.

Nagisa covered his nose with his hand, going a sugared pink. "I didn't know I still had them. I hate my freckles, they make me look about ten." he muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose, as if they would disappear if he did just that.

"I think they're cute." Rei smiled kindly, edging his glasses off Nagisa's face and slipping them back on, the world suddenly clear again. "Don't worry about them too much."

Nagisa turned a darker red, pulling his eyes away from Rei's hold. "My freckles are everywhere."

Rei chuckled. !I know, I've seen them. They're absolutely adorable." he then let himself grin. "They do kind of take the harshness off the tattoos, though."

"Right?" Nagisa breathed, pulling up his shirt and revealing the star he had inked on his stomach. "Genuinely got this one to make me look less of a dweeb, and look," he pointed at the scattering of freckles above and below the tattoo. "They're ruining it."

Rei stared down at his toned stomach, wanting nothing more but to kiss it, touch it, bite it, anything to get rid of this build up that seemed to be driving him crazy ever since Nagisa woke up beside him, half naked and stretching out his perfectly formed back, displaying all his beautiful tattoos and creamy white skin. Rei bit down on his lip as Nagisa pulled his shirt back down, slowly looking back up at him, his rosebud lips twitching into a smirk.

He reached out and pulled Rei's lip from beneath his teeth, noticing a small scab forming where it was apparent he'd done it before. "Stop that," he said softly, running his thumb over his bottom lip. "Doesn't it hurt?"

Rei shook his head, taking Nagisa's hand in his and pulling it away from his mouth. "No. It's all right. I just seem to have picked up on the habit."

Nagisa smiled sweetly. "Well, don't do it too much. It'll make your lips go all chapped." he leaned forwards and pecked his poor lips. "And nobody wants that." Rei blinked, his kiss unexpected.

"Well," he mumbled, a blush scarring his cheeks as Nagisa giggled at his stumble. "It would only matter to you."

Nagisa laughed, squeezing his hand. "You're right." he winked, and Rei gulped, heart racing.

"Well, anyway, messy Rei biting his lip like that is very out of character." Nagisa wound his free arm around Rei's shoulder, pressed his button nose against Rei's sharp one and smirked. "But I like it."

Rei was smiling as Nagisa closed the gap between them, his needs for filled, but only slightly, by his dates soft lips on his and fingers that found themselves at the back of Rei's neck, playing with his hair and brushing the nape of it ever so slyly, a luscious shiver darting up Rei's spine. They were kissing as they had done only a few days ago, mouths open, tongues now familiar to each other yet the heat between them was still very new, and very unclear.

"Come on, guys, keep it at a PG." Momo sighed, having walked in on Nagisa practically climbing into Rei's lap, and Rei having the palm of his hand underneath Nagisa's shirt, fingers hooked around his belt loops.

"PG-13?" Nagisa giggled as Rei moved his hand up his back, fingers once again trailing over his spine, biting down on his knuckle to stop himself from gasping.

"No way, PG or not at all." he chuckled, rubbing his bed head. "I'm not old enough for whatever you're doing."

Nagisa pulled Rei's hand away from his back and jumped up from where he was sat, his hand still entwined with his. "Momo's being a spoilsport, and I'm hungry." Nagisa sighed, swinging their arms. "So, after breakfast, maybe we could go into my room?"

Rei swore his heart stopped, for just a millisecond, before restarting, but in double quick time, his whole body growing hot. He knew Nagisa could tell that this caused him to fluster, because he started laughing. "Don't get embarrassed, it's just my room! I've been in yours."

"That was a completely different circumstance." Rei reasoned, adjusting his glasses with a shaken, clammy hand.

"Whatever, Rei!" he continued to chortle. "We're not kids. We're adults. And you have the beard to prove it."

Rei rolled his eyes, standing with him. "You're not going to drop it, are you?" he smiled, letting himself be dragged into his kitchen.

"Never! I think it's kinda sexy, anyway." Nagisa winked at him again, and Momo groaned through a mouthful of Shreddies.

"What?" Nagisa said, flicking the back of his head. "It's not like you haven't fucked anybody."

Momo swallowed, cutting his eyes at him. "You're not fucking him though, are you?" he snapped, spooning more cereal into his mouth.

"So what?" he retaliated, slamming a box of Apple Jacks down beside him. "There's no need to be rude."

Rei watched the two friends converse, stunned. Momo wasn't like he was a few weeks ago, when he met him for the first time. His eyes were bright, his personality upbeat, and from what he could remember, he and Nagisa got on like two peas in a pod. But, something bad had happened between them - Rei could tell. The air was so tense you could cut it with a knife, Momo wasn't as happy-go-lucky as he had been in the past, Nagisa was more short and sharp with his words. They were like a once happily married couple on the verge of a painful divorce.

"Do you want anything, Rei?" Nagisa asked sweetly, blinking his pretty eyes at him. "Ignore stroppy ass. He's in a bad mood this morning."

Rei shook his head. "No, thank you, I'm quite all right." he declined politely. "I have my coffee in the lounge, I'll go get it."

Nagisa nodded with a smile. "Sure."

Rei proceeded to pick up his coffee, when a presence behind him made him pause for a second. He turned his head sharply to see Ai stood there, hovering in the lounge doorway, now fully dressed, holding a half empty glass of water and scanning the room, his misty blue eyes reading that of urgency, free hand tightened into a fist as he tried to calm his shaking, but to no avail, the slight trembling of his knees obvious to Rei as he walked slowly towards him.

"Are you OK, there, Ai?" Rei asked quietly, as to not alarm him.

Ai nodded. Then he shook his head. Then he nodded. "I don't know. I've lost my pills, I don't know where they've gone, I don't know." he pressed his hand against his forehead, and Rei just knew he was on the verge of a panic attack, his hands beginning to tremble so hard the water in the glass had began to ripple.

"OK, all right, it's OK." Rei said calmly, taking a few more paces towards him, leaving enough space between them so Ai didn't feel trapped or claustrophobic. He reached out and gently pried the glass of water out of his unsteady hands, so he didn't drop it. "Do you know where you last saw them?"

Ai shook his head, pressing both hands against his forehead this time. "No. I don't know. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise. It's just a case of trail and error." Rei let out a slow breath. "But you need to calm yourself first. OK? Now, take a deep breath. Slowly."

Ai did as he was told, closing his eyes, trusting someone as kind as Rei, who helped his friend in his time of need, would surely help him, too.

"Now, breathe out, and, again, do so slowly." Rei said gently. "Count to five, and repeat."

Ai repeated this until he couldn't any longer, his whole body having calmed down after the first few tries, but to be sure of this, he did it a couple more times, not wanting to lose it again.

Rei smiled at him once he'd opened his eyes. "All right, now?"

Ai nodded, embracing himself tightly. "How did you know?"

"What? That?" Rei held out his glass of water, and he accepted it graciously. "It used to calm me down when I panicked like that. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us."

Ai nodded, sipping his water, not wanting to press any further on the subject.

Nagisa popped his head around the kitchen door frame, his eyes brightening. "There you are! What's taking you so long?"

"I panicked." Ai said softly, not looking at him.

Nagisa blinked. "Well, are you OK? What was wrong?"

Rei smiled sadly. "He's lost his medication."

"Oh! Ai, you could have asked me!" he said brightly, walking out of the kitchen and shifting through the open cabinet drawer. "Here! A new bottle." He pressed the bottle into Ai's open hand, and he kissed his forehead. "All right?"

Ai nodded numbly. "Mm. Sorry."

"It's OK. Maybe next time we should put them in the bathroom. I forgot to give them to you. _I'm_ sorry." Nagisa smiled at Ai like a mother would a tearful child. "Take your meds and lie down for a bit. How long have you been awake?"

Ai shook his head. "I don't know. Since seven, I think, but I just lay in bed..."

Nagisa squeezed his shoulder."OK. Maybe if you talk to Mo he'll take your mind off some things, yeah?" he said softly, brushing a stray piece of hair away from his face.

Ai nodded, and Nagisa hugged him tight. "If you need me, just call, all right?"

* * *

"You're really good with him, if that's the right phrase." Rei smiled down at Nagisa when they were in his room, and he shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know all his little ticks and triggers, so it's easy to handle him when he gets a bit panicky. But it was good of you to look after him." Nagisa sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know he can be a bit sensitive, sometimes."

The two of them were sat on Nagisa's bed, which was unmade, and even though every fibre in his very being was screaming at him to _tidy this room!_, Rei tried his best to ignore it. Everything about Nagisa's room was completely against his morale. He had clothes and underwear scattered everywhere - on his bed, over his desk (at least he thought it was a desk), his floor, and his wardrobe was wide open and almost bare, as all his clothes were most likely left on the floor. His chest of drawers were overflowing with underwear, papers, sketch books, and whatever else. There were photographs and postcards Blu Tacked to the walls, and his curtains were only half open, which let in a thin strip of sunlight and a gust of wind every now and again, as his window was open a crack. His room was how his looked when he was fifteen-years-old, and how his and Rin's dorm looked like when they were in college.

Rei shrugged, scratching the back of his neck, lost in his thoughts. "It's nothing. I used to get myself into states like that all the time." he let out a shaky sigh, finally opening up to something he hadn't for a long time, yet immediately regretting it as soon as the memories came flooding back.

Nagisa sat up from his lying down position, blinking at him. "What, you? You used to panic? About what?"

Rei chuckled. "I have some major daddy issues, Nagisa. You should have caught on by now." he smiled sadly at him, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nagisa pulled himself up with his hands, sitting on his knees. "So, he made you panic?" he shook his head. "I don't understand..."

Rei sat up properly, clearing his throat and fiddling with his glasses. "Well, uh, he shook my confidence. More than you could imagine. I wasn't sure on who I was, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I felt like I was stuck in this rut I couldn't get out of. Stuck in the mud, I suppose you could say."

Nagisa crossed his legs up, staring at him intently. He knew all this. Or, at least, it felt like he knew all this. So, why didn't know about his panic attacks? Why didn't he tell him this earlier, when he was talking about what his dad had done?

"It was after I left home, it all started - anxiety, insomnia - all pretty mild, but it worsened as I carried on. My friends noticed, but said nothing. I don't know why. Maybe they didn't want to embarrass me. I wish they did, though."

Nagisa cocked his head to one side. "Why? What happened?"

Rei smiled. "Take a wild guess."

Nagisa tried to think about it. He really did. Rei wasn't the kind of person to attempt suicide, nor was he the kind to sleep around or take drugs or self harm or anything. So what could he have done? Nagisa shook his head after a few moments of silence, officially stuck. "I don't know."

"In my final exam, I had a break down. Sleep deprived, undernourished, on the verge of tears and completely out of my own mind, I tore up my papers, screamed at the examiner to stop putting me under so much pressure, stop telling me what to do with my life, etcetera.

"My friends were in there too, they saw the whole episode. I was obviously disqualified, but I was given my predicted grade, because under further examination through my mothers persistence, they found out I was pretty emotionally unstable. When I left college, I lived with my parents for two years until my father bought me my own apartment, when the both of them believed I was well enough to live on my own. I'm sure he knew it was somewhat his fault."

Nagisa bit down on his thumb nail, chewing it thoughtfully. "But," he started, pulling his hand away from his mouth and looking him in the eye. "You're OK now, right? I mean, you don't have panic attacks or anything any more?"

Rei shook his head. "No. I think my long distance running and my dog helped me a bit. If you keep yourself fit, it balances your mind out. Fills you with feel-good hormones. So does sex. And chocolate." he smiled down at Nagisa. "One I had more of than the other, though."

"Sex?" Nagisa breathed, for a second believing that Rei, usually neat, organised, too-perfect Rei, had all these secret sexual affairs.

He laughed. "I wish! No. It was no sex and pounds of candy bars. If I didn't work out, I would probably weigh three hundred pounds."

An unexpected question popped up in Nagisa's mind. "How many people have you slept with? To count."

Rei blushed furiously, fiddling with his glasses, hiding his embarrassment. "Well, I..." he stammered, biting down on his lip again.

"I think I've slept with three or four. Maybe five. Or six! Oh, God, no, I forgot... Uh..." Nagisa furrowed his brow, thinking hard, whilst Rei was trying his hardest to hide the fact he was completely inexperienced in that area.

"Four girls... Or maybe five... No, she didn't count..." he waved his hand, dismissing her. "OK, yeah, four girls, six guys."

Rei widened his eyes. "Four girls!?" he breathed.

Nagisa nodded. "Yeah. I guess you could call me bi-curious. Maybe? I'm not too sure myself." he shrugged, this not really bothering him. "I mean, I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, so..."

Rei didn't know what to think. Well, he was screaming the words _fourteen!? FOURTEEN!?_ Over and over in his head, feeling more and more embarrassed of his sexual history as Nagisa carried on. "The fifth girl didn't count, because I just fingered her, so," he tossed his hands out, shrugging again. "She was really nice, though. She had pretty eyes, that's all I remember. I'm so sure I was drunk, though."

Rei covered his mouth with his hand, as if he felt sick, and Nagisa laughed. "Sorry! I forgot, not really into vagina, are you?"

"Could you please stop talking." Rei muttered, and Nagisa laughed harder, hand to his stomach.

"Gosh, sorry! Have I turned you off me?" he winked, sticking his tongue out at him.

Rei rolled his eyes. "No. It's just unexpected. I thought you were gay."

Nagisa shook his head, smiling slightly. "Nah. I mean, I like guys way more than I like girls, but if I see a girl who takes my fancy, I'd fuck her."

Rei sucked air through his teeth. "So, what, are you bi?" he furrowed his brow, not really understanding.

Nagisa had never really thought about it. He's never had a label for his sexuality before. "I don't know. Like I said, bi-curious, just women instead of men."

Rei blinked, mind going blank, and for once he was stumped. _People's sexualities are so odd._ he thought, watching Nagisa grin at him.

"Well, Momo is pan, so explain _that_." he said, leaning back on his elbows.

"That's not as confusing as 'I wouldn't exactly fuck women, but I would fuck a man, yet I still fin myself having sex with both genders.'" Rei said, hand to his forehead. "That's not logical. _You _are not logical, Nagisa, I don't understand what you're getting at."

Nagisa laughed. "I haven't touched a woman for three years! Give me some credit." he then grinned. "Anyway, _you_ still haven't told me how many." Rei turned red, avoiding eye contact with him."Well, uh... One. When I lost my virginity. And that was when I was nineteen."

Nagisa gasped, sitting straight up again. "_One_!?" he grabbed his arm and shook him. "_One_!?"

Rei nodded, still refusing to look him in the eye. "It's not really a big deal..."

"Oh, Rei, but it's so cute!" he sang sweetly, squeezing his arm. "How many times did you have sex with him?"

Rei shrugged. "Two or three times." he muttered, ignoring Nagisa's cooing.

Nagisa melted. "Aw!" he couldn't help but let out a small laugh as he said it, not believing this one bit. "Rei! You little innocent baby! Aw!" he pinched his cheek. "You're too sweet."

"Don't! it's rather embarrassing, compared to who you've done." Rei muttered, finally bringing himself to look him in the eye.

Nagisa giggled. "I'm just experienced! I could teach you lots of things, Rei." he said softly, winding his arms around his shoulders and kissing his neck. "Would you like that?"

_Nothing more_, Rei thought, blush still settled on his cheeks.

"Are you going to teach me how to finger a girl?" he managed to crack, despite the spreading fire in his gut.

Nagisa slapped his chest, and Rei laughed, pulling Nagisa's hands away. "We shouldn't do anything until we're both ready."

Nagisa shrugged. "I'm always ready. Especially if it's with you. It might even be a little different if I have a big, fat crush on you." he murmured, kissing his cheek.

"Well, I don't think I am." Rei said softly, regretting it as soon as he said it. "I mean, I always think I am, but the more I think about it, the more I..." he paused, trying to find the right words.

"Panic?" Nagisa finished his sentence for him gently, winding his arms around his waist and resting his chin in his shoulder.

"I suppose you could say that." Rei sighed, lowering his eyes.

Nagisa kissed his neck again. "Don't worry about it. I can wait as long as it takes."

"You say that, but would you?" he muttered, and Nagisa bunched up his brow, his words causing him some unexpected hurt, more than anything else.

"What do you mean?" he said softly, pulling away from him and sitting beside him. "Do you think I'll get bored?"

Rei said nothing, so Nagisa knew he'd hit the nail on the head.

He reached out and squeezed his hand, which was freezing cold, chilling him a little, goosebumps trailing up his arm. "I'd never leave you or cheat on you for something as silly as sex. There's so much more to life than that. Like... Trips out, or... Holidays, or new movies! There are some people who don't even _have_ sex. Ever. Like, full stop. And they're happy! So, we can be!"

Rei smiled down at him. "For someone with no high school diploma, you're very clever with words." he said, squeezing his hand back.

"And I know you mean that in the best possible way.""Nagisa laughed, shuffling closer to him and pecking his lips. "I'm just experienced. I was forced to grow up way before my time, so, it's OK. On the inside I'm like, forty-years-old."

"I doubt that very much," Rei said as Nagisa laughed, smiling down at him. "I think I'm at least forty on the inside."

Nagisa nodded. "Yeah. Probably. You have a beige apartment and a dog. You kind of live like a middle-aged single dad."

"Thanks." Rei muttered, running his hand through his hair as it fell into his eyes again. "I really appreciate the observation." Nagisa sniggered.

"Don't take it the wrong way, I think it's cute!" he cried, winding his arms around his own and resting his chin on the edge of his shoulder.

"You think everything I do is cute. You're not exactly a useful source of information." Rei chuckled, shaking his head. "If you were a spy, you would actually go in and say 'how he killed that guy was super cute'."

Nagisa shook his head vigorously. "I so wouldn't."

"You would! It's quite undermining." Rei muttered, knowing this was a word he used quite often, but he delivered his opinion on it anyway.

Nagisa raised an eyebrow, having no clear idea on what 'undermining' meant, but he was pretty sure it wasn't a compliment. "So, you don't like cute? That's about as far as my vocab goes."

Rei's lips twitched into a small smirk, amused. "Maybe we could both learn some good things from each other."

Another unrelated question suddenly came to Nagisa, having no idea where it came from, or why. "How many people have you kissed? Because, you know, you're actually really good." he blushed, fiddling with the silver hoop at the top of his ear.

"Well, many more people than I've slept with." he shrugged, ignoring his compliment. Not on purpose, he just didn't know how to reply. '_Thank you'_? He didn't think so.

"What? No way!" Nagisa laughed. "I mean, I've kissed quite a few, but I don't think it strays far from ten or twelve."

"College parties is where I mainly got off with people. Girls and guys a like."

Nagisa blinked. "But I didn't think you liked girls in that way?"

Rei shrugged. "Kissing is nothing though, is it? I mean, obviously, it means something, but when you're nineteen, full of alcohol and living with a bisexual sex maniac you tend to not care about who you're kissing."

Nagisa found himself laughing. "Bisexual sex maniac?"

Rei nodded with a sigh. "Rin. He had a girlfriend before Gee, and they had sex all the time. _All the time_. I don't even think they came up for air. Don't ask me how he passed his classes with flying colours." he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Maybe they repeated all their notes to each other while they were doing it." Nagisa grinned.

"And before one of them orgasmed they had to answer a question." Rei added, cracking a smile.

Nagisa snorted, covering his mouth with his hand. "Oh, my God. That's really weird to think about."

"To be honest, though, it wouldn't have surprised me if they had done that." he sighed, crossing his arms again. "I wouldn't know. Whenever that happened, I spent my study time in Sousuke's dorm."

Nagisa cocked his head to one side, a smile playing on his lips "We're both pretty sucky, aren't we?"

Rei laughed. "What makes you say that?"

"Well," he started, crossing his legs up again. "I've never been to college , but you have. I've slept with a lot of people, but you haven't. And we both have pretty shitty dads. I think it's wonderful."

Rei laughed again. "You're right. My mom was OK, though. She looked after me when my dad bought me down. She babied me when I had my breakdown, too. I think that's why she let me keep Des, because I was just so sad all the time." he sighed, scratching his stubbly cheek. "I don't know what I'd do without my mom."

Nagisa felt a tight twinge in his chest, and tears begin to well in his eyes. He ducked his head, not wanting Rei to see, although he'd seen him cry before, but it was too late.

"Hey, Nagisa," he said gently, pressing a hand against his soft face and running a thumb over his cheekbone. "What's wrong? Did I say something?"

Nagisa shook his head, laying his hand over the lovely one on his cheek. "No." he mumbled, pulling it away. "Just... I don't know, my mom's... Weird."

Rei furrowed his brow. "Weird? Weird how?" he whispered, interlocking their hands, squeezing it gently. Nagisa wiped underneath his eyes furiously, sniffing, but said nothing, afraid of going down a route he wasn't even sure of himself.

Rei picked up on his hesitation. "It's all right. You don't have to tell me." he reassured. "Some things are better left alone than relived."

Nagisa shook his head. "No," he said firmly, raising his watery, earnest eyes, staring into the steady, violet ones of the guy who'd opened himself up to him only a few moments ago. "I just... I don't know the full story. My sister does. But... I'm just the kid. So, I was left in the dark. Like usual." he sighed deeply, trying to ready himself. "OK... Well, before my baby sister was born, my mom and dad had an on and off relationship. It would either be my dad home or a different guy every few days. Whatever she could get her hands on, really. She was pretty unstable already, so when this happened I suppose it didn't help. My most clear memory of this was when I was about two, I had a nightmare, and I was crying and crying and crying, but nobody came."

Rei bit down on his lip, not wanting to hear the rest of this, wishing he'd never asked. But Nagisa had lived through this himself. Looking back on these kinds of memories had to be more painful than listening to them.

"And, uh, when someone did come, it wasn't my mom." Nagisa continued, fiddling with his earrings, as if that kept him calm. "Then I remember something pinching me, but harder than a usual pinch, and I started screaming bloody murder. My mom then came in and cradled me while she shouted at whoever had hurt me. They left, and, apparently, according to my sisters, who had been at their dads at the time, I had a massive bruise on the side of my body for days."

Rei shook his head, wanting to disbelieve every word, but the way Nagisa was clinging to his hand, the way he was staring into space, the way his face contorted as if he felt the pain he did over twenty years ago, he knew it was nothing but the truth. "Good God, Nagisa. Didn't your mother report him? For child abuse?"

Nagisa shook his head. "I don't think so. I don't think she cared. As long as I wasn't crying, it didn't matter to her. Anyway..."he shook his head, a puzzled look on his face, as if he'd forgotten everything. "Anyway, the only reason why she got with all these men was for drugs. She'd have sex with them so they gave drugs to her. It was a sad cycle. I think she took heroin, speed, sometimes she smoked weed. God, what else?" he rubbed his forehead, trying to think.

Rei shook his head, heart aching for him. "That's... God, that's... Unbelievable..."

Nagisa started, making Rei jump out of his skin. "It was acid. Either that or ecstasy. Or both. I don't know. But because she was already a bit insane, it only made her worse, and when I got to about ten, she started having psychotic episodes and stuff. She would lock herself in the bathroom so she didn't hurt us, but sometimes she would forget and she hit me and my sister quite a lot. It hurt. But it didn't leave any marks, so we couldn't really tell anybody. Nobody would have believed us, anyway."

Rei shook his head, mind spinning. "O-of course they would! Of course!"

"They wouldn't. My other sister, the second oldest, she self-harmed for ages, and when my mom found out, she cried for days because she knew it was her fault. She took her to the hospital and they got her a psych and everything. Because of that, they knew my mother was, you know, OK. She also had a part time job at a seven eleven, and we always had clean clothes and something to eat, we weren't starved or deprived of anything. My mom's mental health was just going, and there was nothing we could do. I mean, she was actually pretty fun, and acted like a normal mom sometimes."

"But she was unfit to take care of you, surely somebody should have noticed that." Rei tried, but Nagisa shook his head.

"Nope. I was still a happy kid. I lived with my dad whenever we were off school, anyway, so it didn't bother us much. My sister was very shy and quiet, and she flinched at everything, but everyone thought it was just her nature. Even my dad didn't know about any of that. We didn't tell him. We didn't really tell anybody..." Nagisa trailed off, feeling tears well in his eyes as he remembered everything his mother had said, what she had done to him, his sisters, his father.

Rei noticed this sudden dip in mood, letting go of Nagisa's clammy hand and pulling him into a tight embrace, wanting nothing more but to protect him, once again, from something that had already happened. He didn't say anything. Just clung to him, hoping it said everything that he couldn't.

"It's OK. I was pretty messed up, but I've never self-harmed or taken drugs or anything like that. I did do... I did sex stuff, and I never knew what for. I never _liked _it. It was all the same after a while. Anyway, if my mom never found out about my sister, though, she would probably be dead." he mumbled into his shoulder, and Rei held him all the tighter, nose nuzzling his hair. "Everyone's OK now though. Like I said, all my sisters are super smart. I don't know what happened to me, though." he said softly, closing his eyes.

_Your childhood caught up with you,_ Rei thought, kissing the side of his head. _That's what._

"Do you still see her?" Rei asked softly, stroking the hair at the back of his head. "You know, your mom?"

Nagisa gripped his shirt, feeling his heart break. "My... My mom... She's in a sort of... care home." he whispered, as if the words were never meant to be spoken. "I haven't seen her for a few years. I've been too scared to. Ai doesn't even know... Please, don't tell anyone."

Rei squeezed him tight, large hands clinging to his shoulder and side, wanting him to feel safe, protected. "I promise, I won't. I-I'm so sorry." he murmured, rubbing his back. "I feel bad for complaining about my parents."

Nagisa shook his head. "Don't. My mom and dad, and even his insane-o girlfriend, they didn't hit me when I came out about who I was. They told me they loved me. They supported me. Like your dad should have." he sighed, clutching him to his chest. "It's... It's horrible, what he did to you."

Rei kissed his head tenderly. "We're all OK now, though. Are we not?"

Nagisa pulled away from him, blinking his big, beautiful eyes at him, ones that have seen things Rei couldn't even imagine. "I guess we are."he smiled sadly, running his fingers over Rei's rough jawline. "And now I've got you. So... I think I'm going to be more than OK. Maybe even better than fine."

Rei chuckled, laying a kiss on his upturned lips. "Good. Good." he repeated. "So, what now?"

Nagisa let his mouth slip into a grin. "What do you mean?"

Rei shrugged. "What do we do now?"

Nagisa ran his fingers through the taller one's fringe, twirling the silky locks between his fingers. "Maybe we could... be more than dating, now. Like... You could be my boyfriend. Maybe." he looked him in the eye. "If you can handle my tragic childhood."

Rei laughed, a happy blush spreading over his cheeks. "Only if you can handle mine." he grinned, and Nagisa shrugged, looking away again.

"I think I could. Emotional baggage is sexy." he smirked.

Rei laughed out loud, hiding his face in Nagisa's shoulder. "Sure, OK." he breathed, picking his head up and raising his eyebrows. "We can share."

"Goody!" Nagisa threw his arms around his neck and held him, tight. "Now at that party I can be introduced as your new boyfriend!"

"Oh, yeah, about that," Rei said, pulling away from him. "They cancelled."

Nagisa's eyes saddened. "Oh no! Aren't they getting married any more?" he breathed, feeling almost devastated, even though he didn't know them one bit.

"Yes, of course! It's just that Makoto's aunt is very sick, so they've postponed it until she gets well again. Hopefully she does. Although, apparently she doesn't get sick that often, so there's no doubt that she will." Rei smiled at him. "You sounded rather shocked."

Nagisa giggled. "Well, if you promise to marry someone, then you suddenly change your mind, it's not very nice for the other person, is it?" he said with a small sigh. "I hope she gets better soon, though."

Rei nodded. "Me too. But, all is not lost. There is another party we can go to." he grinned.

Nagisa raised an eyebrow. "OK? I'm listening." he smiled cheekily, tilting his head slightly, interested in Rei's odd little invitations.

"It's a Halloween party, next week. My friend Sousuke is throwing it." Rei looked upwards. "Interested?"

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks. "Depends. Is it a costume party?"

Rei nodded. "Always." he grinned as Nagisa's eyes brightened.

"Then, yes, of course, I'm in! Totally!" he laughed, for once excited about Halloween. "What are you going as?"

"My father." he cracked, but waved his hand about when Nagisa's mouth dropped open in shock, trying to retain his humour. "Sorry! I was joking, I was joking!"

Nagisa frowned at him. "You should never say that! Even if you are joking." he muttered, poking him in the chest, as if he were prodding some sense into him. "He may be a monster, but he's still your dad."

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry." Rei said gently, taking his hand away from his chest. "That hurts."

"Sorry." Nagisa smiled slightly. "Seriously though, what are you going as?" Rei shrugged.

"I have no clear idea, really. Maybe something completely typical, because I have no imagination."

Nagisa giggled. "OK, well, whatever you're going as, let me know, because I could be your counterpart. Like..." he pouted his lips, thinking hard. "Oh! If you go as a doctor, I'll be your stereotypical sexy blonde nurse." he winked, wiggling his shoulders.

Rei laughed out loud, hiding his face in his hands. "Dear God, that would be awful."

"Why?" Nagisa grinned, leaning forwards. "I would go all out! I'd buy fake boobs and everything." Rei couldn't stop laughing at that point, still hiding behind his hands. "Nagisa!"

"What? Don't you want to see me in a dress and heels? I would have to learn to walk in them, of course... Oooh, I think I have a pair of stockings that would go perfect with a nurses outfit!" he breathed, jumping off the bed and beginning to dig around in his drawers.

Rei wiped beneath his eyes, not having laughed like that for a long time. "Nagisa, who said I was going as a doctor?"

"I did!" he chirped, throwing pairs of gloves, stockings, and other odd little pieces of lingerie aside. "Ah! Here!" He pulled out a pair of white stockings with big red bows on the knees. "Aren't they cute?" he beamed, sitting on his knees.

Rei blinked at him, stunned. "Why do you have those?" he chuckled. "They seem like something Liberty would wear."

Nagisa widened his eyes. "Really?" he pulled at the lace that sat just above the bows. "Huh. We should go shopping sometime."

Rei couldn't help but smile. "When have you ever worn them?" he asked, lying on his stomach and watching Nagisa sort through other pairs of lace, nylon and fishnet stockings, matching up pairs and rolling them up. "Uh, probably at work. I can't remember the last time I wore them, though..." a sudden idea made him grin. "Do you want me to show you what they look like on?"

Rei blushed furiously, a weird feeling of excitement sending a buzz straight through him, causing him to stammer and go a darker red, ears and neck burning. "O-Oh, I-I-I mean, n-not if you don't want to..." he stumbled, adjusting his glasses.

Nagisa giggled sweetly. "Don't be silly! Of course I want to!" he hopped up with the stockings and kissed his nose. "Be back in a sec."

Once he'd gone, Rei lay on his back and pulled out his phone, checking for texts. There was one missed call, off his mother, and a text off Rin. He opened this first, figuring he could just call his mother later. One or two missed calls were not urgent. If it were more, he knew that's when he should worry.

_**Rin: **__I broke up w/ Gee dont call me or text me back I know what youre going to say bc I know you know what happened and I really cant be dealing w/ your shit right now rei_

Rei almost choked, sitting straight up and coughing, eyes watering. He'd almost forgotten about the whole incident, but it was back, and Rin, the soul person in this situation, now knew the whole story, and he'd split up with her. Is this good? Or bad? What if it turns out to be his kid? Would they get back together? Or not? Rei sighed deeply, hiding his face on the inside of his elbow, feeling his glasses dig into his face as he did so, but not really caring. This was way too dramatic for his liking, and he could really do without it all. Gee was a cheat, Rin was or was not heartbroken, he didn't know, and apparently he was not allowed to check on him, either. After laying their for a few moments, waiting for something, anything to happen, his phone buzzed in his hand, making him start.

_**Sousuke: **__Rin broke up with Gee but he said I wasn't allowed to text him back because he couldn't be 'dealing with my shit'. Just to confirm he said this to you too?_

_**Rei: **__Yeah, he said that to me, too. I am actually kind of worried, though. What if he does something stupid? _

_**Sousuke: **__like what? Find the guy who slept with Gee and beat him to a pulp? I doubt that he'd do anything else atm. He seems pretty angry_

_**Rei: **__Maybe we should call him. Just in case. Or get Haru to do it. I'm kind of busy right now. _

_**Sousuke: **__I thought you'd finished at work? _

_**Rei: **__I have. I'm at Nagisa's. He really wants to be a nurse for your Halloween party. _

_**Sousuke: **__Hell yes that'd be great! A female nurse? _

_**Rei: **__A female nurse. _

_**Sousuke: **sweet__. Is he going to wear heels? Because I would love to see him in heels, ngl_

_**Rei: **__Probably. That man will try anything. And I mean, anything. He already has some stockings, so it won't take him long to get the whole outfit. _

_**Sousuke: **__Brilliant, I can't wait for that. Anyway, I'll leave you to it. I'll text Haru in a bit _

Rei tossed his phone aside, and a few seconds later, Nagisa reappeared, holding out his arms. "How do I look?" he asked, putting his hands on his hips and pushing his chest out. "Pretty good, huh?"

Rei turned onto his stomach again, laughing when he saw him standing before him in the thigh high stockings he was so pleased about, his shirt and boxers, jeans tucked underneath his arm. They actually looked very good on him, and Rei could not deny this fact, his legs looking surprisingly shapely in lace stockings. Nagisa leant against the bedroom wall, lifting his leg and pointing his toes, admiring them from different angles.

"Very cute." he chuckled, supporting his head in his hand. "Maybe we should go as a doctor and a nurse. Just because you look so good in those stockings."

Nagisa threw his arms up, hands curled into fists in mock victory. "Yes! OK, we should go shopping. Right now." he grinned, tweaking the bow on his left knee.

"Right now? But what about my hair?" he said, touching it gently.

Nagisa laughed cutely. "Who cares? We're only looking for costumes!" he skipped over to him and tugged on his hand. "Come on, Rei. If you come with me we can make homophobes feel sick by making out in the mall."

Rei laughed. "That _is _my favourite kind of fun." he stood with him. "All right, we can go. But only if you put your pants back on. And you have keep the stockings on, too."

Nagisa smirked at him. "No problem, sweets. Is that your kink? Lingerie? Because I have a _lot _of that. I could surprise you with something different every week." he grinned, starting to pull his pants back on.

Rei rolled his eyes at his suggestion. "I don't think I have a 'kink', per se." he said, thinking about it, despite himself and his embarrassment towards this particular subject.

"Oh, come on," Nagisa said, buttoning his pants up. "Stop being so prude. Everyone has one! Mine is probably hair pulling. Or spanking. I'm really into that. Just a heads up." he winked, and Rei almost fainted, the thought of curling his fingers into Nagisa's mop of blonde hair, or slapping that cute ass of his, bought delightful fantasies to mind that he would have to dwell on later. He covered his face in his hand, hiding his darkening flush, but he just knew every part of him was steaming.

"Oooh, I made you blush now!" Nagisa teased, tweaking his chin. "You would totally love to spank me, I just know it."

Rei grit his teeth, because he knew he was right, and it was rather annoying how much he knew of his emotions already. "You're probably right, you know. Lingerie is a wonderful thing." he mumbled, removing his hand, but the heat was still there, radiating off his cheeks. "But do you know what's even better?"

Nagisa shook his head, and Rei leaned in closer, lips brushing against his ear. "Handcuffs. Blindfolds. I could tie you down and tease you all I wanted. Anything that keeps you begging." he smirked, before kissing the side of his head. "But, I don't want you to rush into it, if it's not your thing."

It was Nagisa's turn to go red, heart pounding against his ribcage, his breathing shallow, wondering how the Hell he did it. He was barely even a beginner in this kind of game, yet he still made him want more. _God, fuck it, Rei, you sly, sly, bastard. _Nagisa thought, biting down hard on his bottom lip, countless fantasies beginning to rush to mind.

"Now _you're_ all red." Rei chuckled, who had somehow become the smooth one, brushing his thumb over his scarlet cheeks. "It doesn't take very much, huh?"

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks, suddenly stubborn. "OK," he snapped, fists clenched, looking Rei directly in the eye, the two of them still clearly flustered and somewhat sexually frustrated. "The first one to get the most turned on in the mall has to buy the others Halloween costume."

Rei grinned, loving his sudden competitive attitude. "All right. You're on."

* * *

Haha I jumped onto the halloween bandwagon a bit late but idc everyday is halloween if u try your hardest

also v excited about the next chap yay

u can guess who's going to win if u want but we all know deep down who it will be and u can deny it all u want but it's still true

Thank u for reading! I really appreciate it! Also faves and reviews are beautiful and appreciated too ilysm ok?


	8. Father Figures

HI IM BACK

sorry about the very very very late update oh my god i feel so bad

But yeah, it's back and gayer than ever so strap in for a super rad ride kids

TW: mentions of depression

*NOTE* yea i have no idea wtf happens in strip clubs so don't hold me up on this ok

* * *

"I can't believe you made me do this," Rei sighed, handing Nagisa his purchased costume, his pink iris' glowing.

"Well, you knew I would win..." he smiled slyly, winking at him.

Rei sighed deeply. "I suppose, deep down, I knew you would manage it. Although, I'm pretty sure touching is against the rules."

Their little competition had gone back and fourth for a whole three hours, the words and fantasies becoming more and more spontaneous, before Rei eventually cracked under the grasp of Nagisa's hand, as it moved slowly over his thigh underneath the table whilst they were eating lunch, fingertips pressing teasingly into his thigh, trailing along the inside, and before he could get any further, Rei surrendered.

"Oh, it's not! Anything goes." he grinned cheekily, trotting alongside of him like a happy puppy, bag of goods swinging at his side. "I thought you knew that?"

Rei let out a annoyed_ pfft_. "No. I would have done that a lot sooner."

Nagisa raised his eyebrows at him. "Where?" he reached out behind him and pressed his hand against the small of his back. "Here?"

Rei tensed up. He just knew where this was going, Nagisa's little teases and provocative nature becoming more and more obvious the further they got through the day. "Here...?" he moved his body in closer, pressing against his side and moving his perfectly sized hands to his hip, lifting his shirt slightly as he did so, squeezing it gently.

Rei grunted a little in response, darting his eyes this way and that, making sure that no one was paying attention to them, which made Nagisa giggle, nuzzling closer into him. "Or here...?" he breathed, and the next thing Rei knew, his boyfriend of only four hours had his hand on his ass, and was pinching it, appreciating his toned up butt.

Rei let out an embarrassed squawk. "Nagisa!" he hissed, grabbing his hand and pulling it away, feeling the smaller ones fingers curl around his.

Nagisa smiled innocently, but his eyes sparkled naughtily in contrast. "What is it, Rei?" he breathed, still pressed close to him. "Have I done something wrong?"

Rei averted his eyes, away from the teasing glint in Nagisa's rosy iris'. "You can't do that in public." he muttered somewhat awkwardly, adjusting his glasses. Nagisa laughed.

"Oh, Rei! No one was looking!" he nudged his ribs playfully. "Are you scared someone will see?"

Rei said nothing, just tightened his grip on the bag in his left hand, his right occupied with clasping the energetic blonde's hand, who was bouncing along beside him like an excitable child.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes." Nagisa pouted, nuzzling into his side. "Man, you are shy, huh?"

Rei turned a dark pink. "W-well, it's not in my nature to be so... Open." he struggled, squaring his shoulders uncomfortably.

Nagisa sighed, letting his eyes wonder away from the dark haired man he'd had so perfectly wrapped around his finger earlier, who now seemed to be so timid about his physical affection, and scour the mall they were walking through, at all the groups of teenagers and big families and cute couples in their own little worlds, walking in and out of large chain stores or weaving in and out of bustling people. There was one person that caught his eye, though. He was walking alone, sipping coffee, his eyes tired, skin pale.

Nagisa recognised him almost immediately, and elbowed Rei's ribs again urgently, who looked down, puzzled. "What is it?" he asked, squeezing his hand.

Nagisa tried to subtly point over at the guy. "Isn't that your friend? Sharky?" he hissed, moving in closer to him.

Rei followed his finger to whom he was jabbing the air at and let out a slow breath. "It is. Shit. Should I talk to him?" he whispered, widening his eyes.

Nagisa raised and eyebrow at him. "Why wouldn't you?" The corners of his mouth twitched. "Did you have a fall out?" he teased, poking his stomach.

Rei shook his head. "No, nothing like that." he glanced back over at his friend, who was walking slouched over, expression sad and sorry, eyes dull, something about him he'd never seen before. He let out a long, winded sigh. "Let's go."

The two of them started walking towards him. "Rin!" Rei called, and his head shot up, eyes wide. _Oh, God,_ Rin thought, staring straight at the couple who were walking towards him, Rei's signature concerned look etched all over his face. Rin considered walking the other way - or perhaps even running the other way - but then he remembered Rei could pretty much outrun him wherever he was, and, anyway, it was obvious he'd already seen them. So, he stayed put, fixing a feeble smile on his face the best he could.

"Hey," he said softly as they got closer. "What are you doing here?"

Blondie, obviously oblivious to the situation, shook a plastic bag at him. "Shopping, duh. What are you doing here?" he smiled sweetly - and Rin couldn't help but smile back, pathetic or otherwise.

"Oh, uh... Just clearing my head a bit, I guess." he sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

Blondie cocked his head to one side, catching on. "Why? I thought you looked sad."

Rei, unable to speak for reasons unknown, swapped a meaningful glance with his friend, and Rin sighed deeply. "It doesn't matter. Just... Shit. I fucked up."

Rei shook his head. "No, Rin, it's not your fault. It's her fault." he muttered bitterly, and realisation made Nagisa's heart rate quicken, his stomach dropping.

"Oh, no," he whispered to himself, covering his mouth with his hand.

Both Rin and Rei turned their heads towards him, and he removed his hand, trying his best to act it out - although he'd never been good at it, especially in school. But he knew he was a good liar.

"What happened?" he said, hoping he looked genuinely concerned.

Rin shook his head. "It's nothing. Well, it's not..." he sighed deeply, lowering his eyes. "I broke up with my girlfriend, it's no big deal."

Nagisa felt sick. "Oh, no," he repeated feebly. "That's... That's terrible."

Rin shrugged. "Well, she shouldn't have slept around, should she?" he growled, suddenly over-powered with rage, squeezing his paper cup, thanking God it was almost empty. "Slut."

Rei raised his eyebrows at him. "Hey, now, don't you think that's a bit of a strong word?" he said gently. "No matter how true it is, there's no need to use it against her."

Rin sighed deeply. "I'm just... I'm so pissed off. I love her. I love her, you know I do, and it's... Why would she do this to me? To us? If she was so bored she could have just talked to me. Why'd she have to go sleeping with some other guy?"

The desperation in Rin's eyes and the obvious pain he was feeling was too much for Nagisa to handle. The fact that he knew who this girl slept with, and was actually good friends with him, made him want to chuck up his guts.

"I know. I know, it's horrible what she did-"

"And the worst part is, the baby could still be mine. And I don't want it to be mine. Is that bad?" Rin continued, finally letting himself collapse under the emotional pressure he'd been put under, venting to a concerned friend and his blonde companion. "I couldn't handle it, not after what she's done. Shit, Rei, am I a bad person?"

Rei shook his head, trying his best to console him. "No, no, not at all. It's just natural to feel this way after you've had such a long relationship with her."

Rin could feel himself getting choked up, although he was trying his best to conceal it. "I spent three fucking years of my life with her. Three. I could have done anything in those three years. I could have travelled, or helped kids in East Africa or something. But I spent it with her. That bitch. I love her so much and this is what she does. Throws it all back in my face. I'm such an idiot."

Rei could tell he was getting worked up, so he pressed a hand against his arm and squeezed it lightly. "Do you want to come back to mine? It's better than being here all by yourself." he said gently.

Rin blinked at him, stunned at his invitation, then looked down at his date, who looked as sad as he felt, eyes cast down, which he recognised as something a guilty suspect would do. Shaking this off, he smiled wanly at his bespectacled friend. "No. No, I'll be fine. I don't want to ruin your date with my problems." he sighed. "But, thank you."

Rei shook his head. "You're not ruining anything. We were just about to go home, anyway."

Rin looked down at Nagisa again, who'd raised his eyes this time, and gave him a cheery smile, the guilt having disappeared. "Yeah. It's no problem. I don't want you to be lonely, either."

* * *

Nagisa was not expecting someone as scary looking and seemingly intimidating as Sharky to be such an emotional person. He was surprised when he began to cry over this girl, who was honestly not at all worth it, and all he wanted to do was crawl into his lap and cuddle him close, to tell him none of this was his fault and he should just forget about her. But, of course, he couldn't. Mainly because Rei was in the room, but also because he'd only known him for about five seconds at least, so he left it, just watching Rei comfort him instead, by making him drink sweet tea and patting his back comfortingly. Nagisa sat his head in his hands, watching the two friends converse about the girl and why Sharky loved her, only just realising how much Rei really cared about everybody. How sweet he was. How kindly he was. How beautiful he was, to think about so many people, to put so many others before himself. How noble he was. How very deeply and madly in love he was with him. It was insane to think he'd fallen for him so quickly. It was insane to think someone like Rei could ever love him back.

Nagisa sighed sadly. "Hey, Sharky," he began, once the silence had momentarily settled in the room. "You know, you could probably get anyone, if you set your mind to it."

Rin sniffed, rubbing underneath his nose with the back of his hand. "You think?"

Nagisa nodded happily. "Of course! You're really handsome, who wouldn't fall for you?" he smiled kindly. "And anyway - love isn't everything. Maybe you should focus on your career or whatever. It's better than moping about a girl who broke your heart."

Rin blinked his watery eyes at the small stripper that sat before him, who had his elbows on the coffee table, looking intently up at him. "I-I-I suppose... But-"

"Nagisa's right," Rei smiled gently. "I've never known you single. Even when you broke up with Jade, about a week later you landed yourself Gee. Give yourself some time. Maybe you'll find single life better. Ask Sousuke! He's only had one girlfriend in his life."

Rin hummed. "I guess. But... I'm not used to being on my own. I haven't been on my own since High School." he said sadly.

Nagisa gasped. "Really?" he breathed, leaning forwards. "You haven't been single for six years?" Rin shook his head. "I don't really _want _to be single..." he muttered, rubbing his cheek.

Nagisa scrambled upwards and grabbed his hand, taking him by complete surprise. "You like guys, right?"

Rin blushed deeply, averting his eyes. "Well, I mean, I guess..." he blundered, shifting around uncomfortably.

Rei knew, once again, where this was going. "Nagisa, I don't think one of your friends would be willing to console a broken heart." he sighed deeply.

Rin swallowed audibly, still trying his hardest to not look into the pretty blondes eyes. "Well..." he glanced up at him, and out of no where, he quipped, "Are they as good looking as you?"

Nagisa giggled, blushing like a fool, whilst he averted his eyes and bit down on his lip, making Rin smile slightly, amused by his response. Rei, on the other hand, was not. "I don't think flirting with my boyfriend is going to help your situation either." he muttered bitterly.

Nagisa laughed, despite the butterflies he felt fluttering about in his stomach after the word 'boyfriend' left his lips. "Ooo," he teased, cocking his head to one side with a grin. "Jealous, much?"

Rin chuckled. "I didn't realise you two were an item now." he smiled warmly at Rei, which seemed to him as the sort of smile you would give to your son when you were proud of him. "That's great."

Rei fiddled with his glasses, not wanting to rub it in. "Yes, well..."

Nagisa, who still had hold of Rin's hand, squeezed it gently. "Let's not talk about us, Sharky," he smiled brightly, Rin still blushing at the nickname he'd given him. "Let's talk about you! I still want to know - would you be interested? The person I have in mind is so sweet and caring and he's super cute. Isn't he, Rei?"

Rei raised his eyebrows at him. "It depends which one you're talking about..." he said, finger to his lips. "Momo doesn't strike me as sweet _or_ cute..."

Nagisa's throat ran dry at the sound of Momo's name being said before Rin, although neither of them had any idea what he'd done. Rin picked up on this sudden falter in his mood, too. The tiny flinch, the little squeeze of the hand - it was obvious that Nagisa knew something he shouldn't, or Momo was an suspect for this guilt - but Nagisa has brushed it off before Rin could figure the problem out, and he was off on a babble again.

"No, no, not him! But he is very cute. No, I'm talking about Ai!" Nagisa beamed at him, eyes sparkling. "He's very shy, but once he gets to know you he's very open and very lovely."

Rei had started to nibble his lip again. "I don't know, Nagisa, I don't think that's a very good idea..." he said softly, staring at the coffee table. "Isn't he a bit... Off, at the moment?"

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks. "OK, right now he is... But when he gets back to work, I'm sure he'll be good again."

Rin shook his head. "Wait, what does 'off' mean? Is he sick?"

Rei stayed quiet, not wanting to say anything that could be wrong, or even offend Nagisa.

Nagisa shook his blonde curls about. "No. His mom died a few weeks ago, and his mind went a bit, you know..." he said sadly, wiggling his shoulders uncomfortably. "But he's getting better."

Rin blinked rapidly at him, not expecting such a sensitive subject to be thrown at him. "Well, if he's, you know, stable..." Rin shut his mouth after that, not wanting to offend.

Nagisa struggled again. "Well... He's... Getting by." he sighed deeply, letting go of Rin's hand. "You're right, Rei. He's a bit... Off."

Rin smiled kindly. "I'm used to 'off'. My dad was 'off'. My high-school girlfriend was 'off'. Rei was, and still is, 'off'." he flashed a grin at Rei, who made the exaggerated movement of pushing his glasses up with his middle finger, making Rin laugh.

He turned back to Nagisa, eyes soft. "I think I could handle a little bit more 'off'."

Nagisa threw his arms around the unsuspecting Rin. "Thank you. Oh, God, thank you! You have no idea how happy Ai will be." he breathed, squeezing him tight.

Rin looked over at Rei, eyes saying '_what the hell did I just get myself into?_' and Rei sighed. "Blind dates can be fun, I suppose. Especially with a stripper. I should know."

* * *

Rin left soon after he received Nagisa's phone number, and told Rei he appreciated the company, who knocked it off modestly and told him he only wishes him well. The two of them then sat beside each other on the sofa, Nagisa with his knees pressed to his chest, Rei with his legs crossed, the two of them staring blankly at the TV screen, thinking of something to say, before Nagisa broke the silence.

"Rei... I have something... Important, to tell you." he said softly, looking down at his feet.

Rei turned his head toward him, concern in his eyes yet again. "Oh, dear," Rei sighed sadly, running his fingers over the nape of his neck, playing with the hair that sat at the very bottom of his head. "What is it?"

Nagisa let out a shaky sigh, although the way Rei was playing with his hair was rather relaxing.

"I don't know. It might not even be that important..." he mumbled, scratching his jaw.

Rei tilted his head slightly, wanting to see his face properly. "No, no. Everything you tell me is important." he smiled.

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks, deciding on how to say it. "It was Mo." he said softly.

Rei shook his head, not understanding. "What? What was?"

The blonde wiggled around uncomfortably. "He was the one who slept with Gee." he whispered, so quietly he was sure Rei didn't even hear it.

Unfortunately, he had done, causing him to stop playing with Nagisa's hair for a second, hand hovering between his neck and nothing, wanting to resume its play, but he couldn't find it in him to continue, feeling somewhat conflicted. "He... He what?"

Nagisa sighed deeply, dropping his eyes to his feet, which were still covered by his stockings. He'd completely forgotten he was still wearing them. "He slept with Rin's girlfriend. Gee."

Rei didn't say anything for a moment or two. He was trying his best to figure out how it had happened, why it had happened, anything for it to make sense. But it didn't. None of it really added up. Did Gee find herself in a gay strip club? Did Momo find himself in a bar full of obviously sexually ungratified women? He didn't really want to think about it. Eventually, after a long enough silence to make Nagisa worry, he sighed. "I see."

"I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to get Momo into trouble." Nagisa tried, resting his chin in his knees.

Rei lowered his hand into his lap, fiddling with his sweater sleeves. "I understand." he said softly, furrowing his brow. "Is... Is that why you two aren't very good friends at the moment?"

Nagisa turned his head sharply toward him, eyebrows raised. "What makes you say that?"

Rei rubbed his forehead, feeling slightly out-of-place in his own home. "I don't know. You two just seemed a bit off with each other." he muttered, and Nagisa let his shoulders droop with a small sigh.

"I guess. He's the one acting weird, though." he watched Rei steadily for a few moments, whose eyes were staring hard at the coffee table, brow furrowed, glasses slipping down his face as he tried to think. Nagisa shuffled closer to him, their shoulders touching.

"Are you going to tell Sharky?" he whispered, blinking his big eyes up at him.

Rei shook his head, face still contorted. "No. God, no, not at all. Why should I? It's none of my business!" he smiled uneasily, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Nagisa blinked at him - then found himself smiling too, but more convincingly than he. "OK. Good. As long as you're not mad."

Rei paused for a second, deciding on his feelings, before shaking his head. "No. I'm just... Surprised! Momo doesn't seem like that kind of person..."

Nagisa shrugged. "He does it all the time. Not sleep with other people's girlfriends, obviously. Just... Wants one night stands. He isn't really the one for relationships." he sighed. "I don't blame him, but... There's nothing steady about it. Sometimes he'd have slept with 6 people in a month, then he'd not touch anyone for another two."

Rei hummed under his breath. "Well, what I've learnt in the past few weeks is that sex is apparently the most important thing in anything, whether it be a relationship or otherwise."

Nagisa hummed too, placing his hands on his knees and resting his chin in them again. "Not really. Like I said, lot's of people don't have sex. And that's OK. It's your choice, right?"

"I suppose so. Even so, everything is sexualised nowadays. No wonder there are teenagers getting pregnant. It's rather disgraceful, if you ask me." he said matter-of-factly, sitting up straight.

Nagisa felt himself flush shamefully, but he didn't know why. "My sister had an abortion when she was fifteen." he mumbled into his hands, as they were pressed against his knees.

Rei found himself stammering, unable to dig anything up to redeem himself, before crawling into a dreadful embarrassment as Nagisa laughed at his funny stuttering. "Don't worry about it. She thinks it's disgusting too." he smiled sweetly. "But she was forced into having sex, so it's different."

The taller of the two had no idea why he was telling him all this, and he had no idea how to respond to it, either, so he just said, "Very different."

Nagisa asked where Destrey was, and Rei motioned to next door, so he set off to find him, whilst Rei remembered his mother calling him a few hours ago, so he decided to return her call whilst he had the time.

"My darling! Oh. My darling, you'll never guess!" his mother burst into a song of words, her smooth voice high and tuneful.

Rei smiled fondly, happy to hear her so excited. "What is it, Mom?"

"Oh, it's just wonderful! Your clever father has expanded his business! But that's not all!" she chirped, and Rei could just imagine her floating around the kitchen, on her tip toes, skirts swirling about her ankles, fading hair falling over her shoulders, her many gold bangles shifting up and down her arms as she danced around, big smile on her ageing, yet still beautiful face.

"Oh, really? That's wonderful." he said politely, unusually angered by this announcement.

"Isn't it just?" his mother breathed, and Rei could hear her bangles clinking more than usual. "We're moving to Florida with his job! Isn't that amazing!"

Rei made an odd noise, as if someone had just punched him in the throat. It felt like it, at least. He knew it was ridiculous – he was a grown man, with his own place, a job, a dog, friends, and even a boyfriend, now – but he couldn't help feeling as if he were being abandoned by his own parents. They were leaving him here, all alone, with no support. He couldn't drop in to their little house, the house his parents bought together when they'd gotten married, the house where his fathers business began, the house where he and his brother grew up together. It hit him all at once, and he wasn't sure on how he should feel. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"Well," he began, trying to keep his feelings under control. "That's... amazing!"

His mother began giggling like a school girl who'd just been noticed by her crush. "I know! Your brother started crying when I told him, bless him!" she laughed lightly. "Are you sure you're OK with it?"

Upon hearing of his beloved older brother, who was married, had two children, his share of his fathers business and a four bedroomed house, start to _cry _over the fact his mother was moving away, pulled at his heart strings a bit, and he found himself sobbing like a small child who'd lost their favourite toy, hiding his face in his arm. "Yes," he wept, bowing his head. "I'm completely fine."  
His mother cooed and consoled him the best she could, telling him his father would buy them all tickets to fly over and see them as much as they wanted, and they weren't moving for a couple of months, so he needn't worry about it so soon, but Rei was still a puddle of pathetic tears, fist clenched at his chest, as if he were heartbroken.

"Oh, my darling, my poor darling," his mother repeated in a soft, kindly tone. "Don't cry so."

"But, mom, what will I do?" he snivelled. "Without you?"

"Don't be so silly!" she said tenderly. "You're a clever boy. A very clever boy! You're going to be an amazing lawyer and have yourself a wonderful life without me there!"

Rei shook his head, as if he was talking to her in person. "No, I need you... Mom, what if I... What if I..."

His mother sighed sadly. "Now, stop that. You're fine, aren't you? That's what the doctor said." she said calmly. "Please, don't cry any more, my darling."

Nagisa had heard the sudden burst of tears through the wall of his bedroom whilst stroking a very tired Destrey, and he shot straight up, feeling the need to go to his boyfriends rescue – but as he stood in the doorway, he realised he was on the phone, and, despite his tears, he was still talking (barely) to his mother. He hovered in the doorway now, unsure on what to do, until Rei put the phone down with a gentle _I love you, see you soon_. Nagisa dithered for a further half a minute, before tiptoeing into the lounge, and crouching down before Rei folding his arms over his knees.  
"Hey," he said softly, reaching out and cupping his elbow in his hand, where his face was still hidden as tears still spilled. "What's wrong?"

Rei shook his head, unable to speak without choking on his words. Understanding, Nagisa stood slowly, and as he sat down, he pulled Rei's shoulders down with him, making him lay his head in his lap. Rei didn't resist – after being laid down, in fact, he turned himself over, facing Nagisa's stomach, hiding his face in his hands. Nagisa ran his fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him. "Hush, now, it's all right." he said softly, resting his head in his hand, leaning on the couch. "It's all right."

Rei did find Nagisa's words soothing, the way his fingers glided through his hair ever so relaxing. And he was right, anyway. It _was _all right. He was just being stupid. He was going to be fine. He always had been. He had his friends, he had his job, he had his dog, he even had Nagisa now. What was he crying about? She wasn't _dead_. She wasn't like poor old Nagisa's mom. She was just moving away. And he could handle it.

"I'm OK." he managed to mumble after a ten minutes or so, picking himself up off of Nagisa's lap and pulling off his glasses, wiping underneath his eyes furiously. "I'm just being ridiculous. Sorry. I must have scared you."

Nagisa wound his arms around his waist, laying his head against his back. "No, no. Don't worry. What happened?" he said softly, clinging to him tightly.

Rei sighed, slouching over as he stared at the smudged lenses of his glasses. Either that or he just couldn't see that far. "It's nothing major. My parents are moving away."

Nagisa blinked. "Is that all?" he said absently – then pulled away from him, mouth hiding behind his hands as he realised how insensitive that must have sounded. "Oh, my God, sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that."  
Rei turned around with a sigh, feet meeting the floor. "No, no, it's quite all right. I know, it's silly. I shouldn't get so worked up over something like that." he pulled a tissue out of the box on his coffee table and polished his glasses, sniffing greatly.

Nagisa was still worried about what he'd said, because he knew enough now to _know _how much his mother meant to him. "Where are they moving to?" he asked gently.

Rei fixed his glasses back on over his eyes and wiped his nose daintily. "Florida."  
His upset suddenly made sense. "Ah. That _is _very far away." Nagisa said softly.

"It's on the other side of the US. What am I going to do without my mom? I know it's stupid, but... She's helped me through so much." he sighed shakily.

Nagisa wound his arms around him again. "I'll be here. And so will your brother and your friends. You'll be OK, Rei, you'll see." he said brightly, squeezing him tightly.

"Yeah." Rei replied simply. _I hope so._

* * *

Ai was fast asleep on the couch upon Nagisa's return home, and Momo was eating a nutritious meal of McDonald's nuggets and a large portion of fries, which he offered to Nagisa, shaking the packet at him as he took a seat at the table, but he shook his head, politely declining.

"Did your rich boyfriend take you out to eat?" Momo smirked, scoffing a chicken nugget.

Nagisa smiled smugly. "Only lunch. But I'm not hungry. What about you? You're going to get really bad indigestion tonight if you eat all that." he sighed at him.

Momo pulled a face at him, dipping a fry into a splodge of ketchup. "Who are you? A doctor?"

Nagisa dug around in his paper bag and pulled out his nurses outfit. "You tell me." he winked.

Momo burst out laughing, hand to his stomach as he did so. "Christ! He's got some weird kinks, hasn't he?" he chortled, munching on his fry.

Nagisa bobbed his tongue out at him. "Fuck off. No, it was my idea to dress up like a nurse, actually." he grinned, holding the flouncy dress against himself. "It's cute, huh?"  
Momo shrugged. "Not really." he said – then he reconsidered. "Well, actually, to be fair on you, you _do _have a weird, feminine body. And you've got some great legs. So, yes, I am taking that back and giving you a thumbs up on that one."  
Nagisa giggled cutely. "Thank you! It's for Rei's friends Halloween party. I'm meeting them in a nurse costume!" he laughed, folding it carefully. "I want to make a lasting impression, of course."  
Momo rolled his eyes. "Right," he said, taking another fry and biting into it. "I'm gonna get ready."

As soon as he left the room, Nagisa grabbed a handful of his fries and two nuggets, before breaking for his own room, careful of awaking a snoozing Ai.

Before the two of them left, they had to let Ai know they were going, so Nagisa shook him awake gently. "Hey, Ai?"  
Ai mumbled something inaudible, so he assumed he was awake. "We're going now, OK?" Nagisa said softly.

Ai fluttered his eyes open, blinking at his blonde friend. "Huh?" he mumbled, rubbing his eye.

Nagisa smiled gently. "We're off, all right? If you need us, call us. Don't do anything stupid." he patted his silver head and smiled. "Later, Ai."

It was unusually quiet that night, and, for a Saturday, it was rather unusual, until a whole gang of men and women alike burst through the doors demanding exotic cocktails and a hot stripper or two. Nagisa was called on stage a few minutes after the crowd had started to become rowdy, and he started up his usual routine – teasing, winking, shaking his cute ass like his life depended on it. The response was positive, his black lingerie filling with bills, being cat called as he dropped and wolf whistled at as he shook his hair about or rocked his hips or manoeuvred his hands over his body. The night was all well and good, and as his set finished, more bills were tucked into his waistband. He sat at the dressing tables backstage afterwards, sticky with sweat and high on his ego, fanning dollar bills before his face and winking at Momo, telling him to _'beat that!'_.

"Maybe I will!" he laughed, flicking his forehead.

"Oi, Blondie," one of the managers called for Nagisa, who hopped up, grinning toothily at him.

"Yup?" he answered, rolling up his bills and shoving them in his sports bag.

"You gotta do a fifteen minute lap dance – you been paid for a'ready." Simon, one of his favourite managers in the joint, who was much kinder than the big boss, told him.

Nagisa grimaced, scratching his forehead. "Ah, shit. Can't someone else do it?" he asked, walking towards him.

Simon shook his head. "Nah, sorry, kid. He asked for yoos 'specially. Don' worry – if he gets too hands on, call for me – I'll be right behind yoos', ah'ight?"

Nagisa nodded, smiling uneasily. "I don't think I should do lap dances any more..." he said softly as they began walking towards the private rooms.

Simon grinned down at him. "Hows that, then?" he asked. "Pays good, right?"

Nagisa struggled. "Yeah, I suppose, but... I've got a boyfriend." he grinned sheepishly, hand atop his head. "I don't think he'd like it if he knew I was dancing for other men."

"Ah! Well, tha's good for yoos', but I don't think the boss'd like that!" he laughed, patting his shoulder.

Simon guided Nagisa down the dreaded 'VIP' corridor, which was painted black and glowed blue and pink with tacky LED lights that lined the ceilings, peeling posters running across the bricks advertising bands no one was actually interested in, sex hot lines and pole dancing clubs, much like this one, but full of beautiful, voluptuous women instead. Nagisa only knew this because Roxanne had once taken him to the one she used to work at, and he appreciated how wonderful all the girls looked, and even got talking to one about how she kept her hair so silky soft when she bleached it so many times. Simon lead him to the end of the corridor, and patted his shoulder once again.

"I'm right out here, ah'ight, kid?"

Nagisa nodded, licked his dry lips, and pushed back the crimson curtains, ready for fifteen minutes of awkward, messy, but expensive Hell. The thing he hated the most about these rooms was the smell. It always _always _stank of steamy sex, and he didn't know _why. _There was nothing like that ever going on in there. Usually he would just dry hump them in the most exotic way possible for as long as they'd paid for and hope it was satisfying enough. He'd never had a regular, which he was glad about, but he was always worried that he wasn't good enough _not _to have one. A red, leather sofa lined the long, still black wall, and he could just make out a broad figure sat in the centre, silhouetted against the black bricks by electric blue lights. He seemed to be disinterested in this, as he was sat forward, hands knotted, looking down at his feet, so Nagisa supposed he'd been made to do it, as a joke, or maybe as a stag night gift or something. He was used to that. Nonetheless, he did his best, slowly making his way towards him, one hand running through his hair the other on his hip.

"I see you're looking for a little extra," he began, reciting it as if it were a script, standing before him and keeping his gloved hands on his hips. "But looking is all you'll get."

Again, as routine, he pushed the strangers shoulders back and climbed atop his lap – before letting out an almighty yelp as he got a very good look at his face, jumping back, tripping over his own feet, and landing on his ass, yet all this was irrelevant, confusion and upset and anger manifesting itself in his mind all at once.

"_DAD!?_" he screeched at the top of his voice, fists clenched. "_WHAT THE FUCK!?_"

* * *

The unexpected visit from his brother surprised Mikio mildly, but, deep down, he kind of expected it.

"Mom called you?" Mikio asked, smiling sadly at his kid brother, who looked as rough as rough could get for him.

Rei nodded, feeling defeated, this whole day having been one massive emotional roller coaster. Mikio invited him in with a twitch of his head, and Rei was immediately greeted by the smell of savoury cooking and a little girl running down the open staircase to greet him, favourite blue bunny in hand.

"Rei-Rei!" Gracie chirped, long, dark hair tied up in a neat bun, a baby pink ribbon holding it all in place. "Guess what!"

Rei crouched down before her, smiling fondly. "What's that?"

She giggled sweetly. "Guess! Guess!" she cried, holding her toy close to her chest.

Rei cocked his head to one side, a small smile playing on his lips. "Hmmm... " he started, clasping his hands. "Are you _finally _a mermaid? Where's your tail?" he teased, making her giggle again.

"_Noooo_," she sighed, pretending to be annoyed, but she was still grinning widely. "I am the main main main girl in our Christmas dance!"

Rei gasped. "That's _fantastic_!" he praised, suddenly over-whelmed with pride for his shy little niece. "Are you the fairy princess, then?"

"I am the princess in the Nutcracker story, _and _I get to be a boo-ti-ful angel in the school nativity!" she boasted, head held high.

Rei pulled her in for a hug, making her squeal. "Very, very well done, Gracie! Make sure _I _get tickets for both, because I want to see you!" he grinned, squeezing her tight.

"OK! Oh, oh," she pulled away from his embrace, fiddling with his scarf. "Will your secret boyfriend want to see me, too?" she whispered, but not quiet enough, because Mikio began to chuckle.

Rei smiled kindly. "Maybe." he whispered back. "I'll ask him, yeah? But I'm sure he'd love to see you."

Gracie nodded, her grin wide. "Yay! I do like him, Rei-Rei. Will you get married, like mommy and daddy?" she asked, rocking back and forth on her heels.

Rei turned as pink as her hair ribbon, but managed a chuckle. "We'll see." he kissed her freckled forehead. "But I am very, very glad you got to be the Princess, Gracie. Well done!"

Gracie pressed her hand against where he'd kissed her, giggling cutely as she blushed. "Thank you."

"Go see if Mommy wants help in the kitchen, babe." Mikio smiled down at Gracie. "Tell her your uncles here, too."  
Gracie nodded. "Okie-dokie!" she said happily, and skipped into the dining room, calling her mothers name.

Rei stood up straight, smiling at his brother. "I don't have to stay if you're having dinner." he said, tucking his hands in his jacket pockets.

Mikio shook his head. "It's fine! It's been a while since I've had a good catch up with you, anyway." he grinned as Rei began to work off his jacket. "So, how's this guy you're seeing, then? Is it all right?"

Rei found himself dithering, hiding his embarrassment by walking over to the coat hooks and hanging up his coat and scarf neatly. "I did see him today, actually." he smiled fondly to himself, smoothing down his coat sleeves.

Mikio raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really? A date, or something?" he crossed his arms over his chest, unable to control his feelings of pride towards his awkward, geeky, kid brother.

Rei shrugged, turning towards him. "Something like that," he smiled, pushing his glasses up his nose. "We're... We're sort of an item, now, I guess."

Mikio threw an arm across his shoulder and rubbed his head hard, ignoring his complaints. "I knew it! I knew there was something going on between you two!" he laughed, continuing to mess up his hair.

"Let go of me!" Rei cried – but he was laughing. "You have an unfair advantage."

Mikio set him free, patting his cheek. "I am really proud of you, you know."

Rei fixed his hair, not looking at him. "There's no need to be, we're just, you know..." he shrugged. "In a relationship. It's no big deal."

Mikio shook his head. "Yeah, no. You're right. But, hey, it's a big step for you." he smiled, grabbing his shoulders. "And you know it is."

Rei sat beside Liberty and opposite Gracie at the dinner table, who seemed so unusually ravenous she ate every single scrap of her roast dinner and even asked for seconds.

"Here," Rosa pushed her three untouched roast potatoes on her plate. "Have mine."

Rosa had been oddly quiet that evening, and although she claimed it was because her teeth hurt after having her braces tightened, Rei believed it was something deeper, but did not want to confront her at the dinner table.

"Thank you!" Gracie breathed, doe eyes brightening. "These are so yummy! Are you sure you don't want them, Rosie?"

Rosa nodded, smiling down at her baby sister. "Sure. You have them. My teeth ache."

Liberty sighed irritably. "They've been aching for two weeks, Rosa. Are you sure you don't want to go back to the orthodontist?"

Rosa shook her head, sipping her water. "No, Mom, it's fine. I'll take some more painkillers." she sighed, adjusting her specs.

Rei pulled his mouth into a straight line, but still said nothing, resuming his eating. Mikio, on the other hand, was quick to respond.

"You're sure it's just the braces, Rosa? You haven't been eating much recently." he said gently.

Rosa rolled her eyes. "Yes..." she mumbled, setting her glass down.

Gracie swallowed down her second potato. "Well, you're missing out! What's for pudding?" she asked, blinking over at her mother as she nibbled.

Liberty sighed irritably, as if this question annoyed her. "You're going to have to be careful about how much you're eating, babe – you'll start to get podgy."

Mikio leaned over and patted his daughters head, making her giggle. "Hey, she can have a pudding if she wants one!" he smiled down at her. "What would you like, babe?"

Gracie hummed sweetly as she set her knife and fork down neatly, swinging her legs. "Could I have... ice-cream?" she asked, before politely adding, "Please?"

Liberty tutted disapprovingly, but said nothing, bringing her wine to her lips.

Mikio grinned. "Of course." he looked over at Rosa, who was staring into space, hand supported by her head, which caused him to feel a little bit of worry. "Would you like some, too, kiddo?"

Rosa sat up, stunned. "Hmm?" she blinked at her father – then shook her head. "No, thanks."  
"It will dull the pain in your teeth." Rei smiled kindly at her, setting his silverware down and sipping his own wine.

Rosa still shook her head. "No, I'm fine." she turned to Gracie. "Just don't touch my _Ben and Jerry's_, because I will know. And I will have to kill you."  
Gracie squealed, her sisters threats sincere, although she knew they were empty. "I won't! I promise!" she breathed, and Rosa laughed at her gullibility.

Rei helped Mikio clear the table, wanting to have a conversation with him in some kind of privacy.

"What's up with Rosa?" he asked softly as he passed plates to Mikio, needing some kind of reason for her odd behaviour.

Mikio shook his head, clearly as confused as he was. "I don't know." he sighed deeply, standing up straight and pushing the dishwasher shut. "She's been acting strangely for a few weeks, now."

Rei began to nibble his lip, a habit he knew he should knock on the head, but he somehow couldn't help it. Another thing he should add to his mental list of '_Things that Nagisa has got me doing through no fault of my own_'.

"Strange how?" he said softly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mikio shook his head again with a frown. "I don't know. You know, how you were after..." he trailed off, fiddling with his glasses, the conversation more awkward for him than it was for Rei.

Rei nodded, wanting to encourage him. "Yeah, I know. Is she... Is she showing signs of..."

"I don't know. God, I just want her to be happy. I don't want her to be as depressed as you were – that scared the living shit out of me, you know? I thought you wanted to die, I couldn't handle it." Mikio breathed, rubbing the back of his head. "You... You didn't _want _to, right?"

Rei hugged himself tight, suddenly feeling as if he'd been put on the spot. "When I was at my lowest, I suppose I did. But you know that didn't last long." Rei said softly, staring at his feet.

Mikio let out a long, winded sigh. "Maybe she isn't, though. Maybe it _is _just her teeth. Braces hurt like a bitch on a bad day." he smiled.

Rei laughed, a slight weight being lifted off his shoulders as his brother cheered up. "Yes, I suppose they do. Remember when you broke your braces?"

"And Dad threatened to cut them off because it was like, the fifth time I'd done it in a week." he laughed, leaning against the work surface.

Rei chuckled, childhood nostalgia always a wonderful safety net after talking of such a sensitive subject, and he was about to remind him of the time when he got his headset stuck in his sweatshirt, when Liberty walked in with three empty wine glasses. "You forgot these." she sighed, setting them down beside the sink. "It doesn't matter, though!"

She smiled at the two men, fiddling with her hair, which was pushed over her shoulder, and tumbled over her breast in loose, golden curls. "How did you take the news, Rei?"

Rei shrugged. "It happens, doesn't it? They can't stay there forever." he smiled sadly. "Still, that doesn't mean I won't miss them."

His brother grinned. "I cried when she told me."

Rei smiled back, raising his eyes to the ceiling with a sigh. "Me too!" he looked back at him. "Who will you miss the most?"

Mikio opened his mouth – then closed it again, reconsidering his answer. "Well... You can't really make me choose, can you!"

Rei shrugged. "I _know _I'll only miss mom. Let's be realistic, my relationship with dad isn't to be missed, is it?"

Mikio pursed his lips, and Liberty sighed sadly. "Your dad is a kind man."

Rei raised his eyebrows at her. "Uh, you _saw _the black eye he gave me, right?" he snapped, suddenly irritated. "It didn't happen that long ago!"

Liberty winced at his harsh tone, knowing as soon as she'd said it that she'd struck a sensitive chord. "I know, I know, but... He just wants what's best for you." she said gently.

Rei scoffed. "By calling me names and beating me up? Yeah, that sounds like he wants what's best for me." he muttered bitterly, dropping his eyes. "Imagine if we were a Christian family."

Mikio sucked air between his teeth sharply. "Mmm, no, I don't want to." he patted Rei's back lightly, the kind you would do when you were burping a baby. "It's OK now, though! You're doing great! You've got that blonde now, anyway. What's his name again?"

"It's Nagisa." Rei said bashfully, face flushing.

Liberty's whole face brightened. "You're a _couple_?" she breathed, her smile unmistakably _proud_. "Oh, gosh, Rei! That's wonderful!"

Rei smiled back at her. "Thanks. I guess. I mean... Wow. This has gotten a positive reaction so far." he laughed to himself, fiddling with the arms of his glasses.

"Why wouldn't it?" Liberty grinned toothily. "It's been so long, Rei, this is wonderful. Oh, I'm so happy for you."

Rei began to glow with humble pride. "Thank you, Liberty."

Mikio wound an arm around his wife's waist, pulling her into him. "Maybe we'll do a double date."

Rei's eyes widened in disbelief, stomach dropping. "Ha, uh, well, I mean, it's a bit, you know, _soon_..." he stammered, fiddling with his glasses again.

Mikio laughed. "No! It's never too soon to double date! Why not?"

Rei pulled at his shirt collar. _I can think of plenty of reasons. _He thought, biting down on his bottom lip.

"It'll be fun!" Liberty encouraged, and Rei cracked under the pressure of his persistent brother and busty wife, the two of them eager to poke and prod at Rei's new boyfriend, and maybe even embarrass him a little.

"Fine. Yes, fine! Fine, we'll do it. But I'll have to check when, because he works some nights."

Liberty clapped her hands in delight. "Yes! OK, good! Oh, we'll have a good time, don't look so scared!" she laughed, reaching over and pinching Rei's flushed cheek.

"I don't look scared, do I?" he asked, smiling.

"Very," Mikio laughed, pulling open the freezer door. "Not to worry, though." he lifted a carton of ice-cream out of the frozen depths and pushed the door shut again. "Ice-cream, anybody?"

* * *

Tears were spilling down Nagisa's cheeks as he clung to his dads shirt, arms wound tight around his shoulders. He hadn't seen him in so long. _So long. _Why did he wait almost ten years to find him again? Why did he want to see him? _Here of all places_!

"It's all right, kid, it's all right." his father said gently, stroking the back of his head somewhat gingerly, but Nagisa didn't really care – it was his _dad_. So many emotions were mixing all at once – anger, happiness, _relief –_ that it all came tumbling out in desperate sobs and big, fat tears that plopped on his father's shoulder. Simon had heard his sudden outburst and wanted to know what the Hell was going on, bursting into the room, and upon finding Nagisa on the floor, looking petrified with a hint of embarrassment mixed in, he was ready to throw someone out – but Nagisa quickly explained in a hurricane of mixed up words that this was his dad, his dad had come to see him, _it was his dad_, before bursting into tears. Simon asked his father to leave as he was causing Nagisa some upset, but he begged him to let him stay, so he did. Still sobbing and shaking all over, Nagisa lead his dad backstage, holding onto his hand tightly, and sat him down at his dressing table. In all of this confusion, Nagisa's father just let his son get on with it, as he had no idea what he was doing or why he even came here in the first place.

"Why did you pay for a lap dance?" Nagisa half laughed, half wept, as he struggled into his sweatshirt.

"I don't know. I don't know why I came here to begin with." his father breathed, shaking his head, brow furrowed. "Sorry. God, Nagisa, I'm sorry for everything."  
Nagisa shook his head too, wiping underneath his eyes furiously, but he was still sobbing pathetically. "No, don't be, Dad. Don't be."

Nagisa was still clinging to his father when Momo came off stage, and he was just as shocked as everybody else backstage, who'd been dithering at their own dressing tables, unsure on whether to intervene or not, as Nagisa was usually so very bubbly and quirky, seeing him cry like that was very unusual. The most unusual thing though, was seeing someone of the public in the dressing rooms, and it was pretty much forbidden, so they all silently prayed for their blonde friend that their boss would not be walking in on them any time soon.

"Nagisa...?" Momo said cautiously, running a hand over his hair. "You're not usually so clingy towards your customers."  
Nagisa giggled through his tears, finally pulling away and wiping his sodden cheeks gently with his sleeves. "Mo... This is my dad."

Momo let out a small, "Eh?"

"Yeah, I know, it's weird." he hiccuped, not looking at either of them, suddenly feeling ashamed of where they were, his father finding out by paying for a lap dance that his only son was a stripper, and a very cheap one at that. "But... he's here."

Momo blinked at him, unsure on how to react. "But I thought... You... and he..."

"Yeah," Nagisa's father sighed. "I did an awful, awful thing."  
Momo scoffed nastily, but said nothing, turning his back on them and searching for a change of clothes for his next set, not wanting anything to do with a man who left his friend for a woman who was clearly insane.

"Sorry about him," Nagisa said softly, rubbing his eyes. "He has three sets tonight, and that was his second. He gets tired."  
Nagisa's father nodded, but he honestly had no idea how to reply to this, which was understandable.

"I have to go back on in ten minutes... So... If you want to wait until three AM, then feel free, but I think you should just go home." he said sadly, hugging himself tight. "Call me, or something."  
His father took a deep breath. "I... I was hoping you'd know where your sister was."

Nagisa's hands gripped his sweatshirt tightly. "Huh?"

"Your sister. I want to see her." he said gently, taking one of Nagisa's petite shoulders in his rather small hand. "She's been emailing me, and I've met up with her a few times, but she still hasn't told me where she lives."

The short blonde still didn't understand. Had his sister been talking to their father behind his back? Had she been visiting him also when she came home from England? Is that why she always left earlier than she needed? Was she _staying with their dad_? A hot flash of anger dried his tears, so intense it blinded his senses, and he thwacked his dad's hand so hard off his shoulder he was so sure it hurt him.

"What the _fuck_?" he yelled, fists clenched. "What the _fuck_?" he repeated, louder this time. It seemed that's all he could manage to say.

The whole bustle of male voices silenced, and all movement stopped, Momo turning his head sharply, ready to pounce to his friends rescue whenever he was needed, the only sound heard coming from the outside, the soft thumping of loud music coming in from the front of the building, where he knew a buff, brunette Briar was doing his first set of the night. He was always a personal favourite of the crowd, whether they be a once-in-a-lifetime customer or a regular, and Nagisa didn't blame them, either. He was truly gorgeous, though sadly married.

"I know, I know, this may sound bad, and she should have told you, but-"

"But _what_?" he screeched, too angry to care about the twenty pairs of eyes staring straight at him. "You didn't want to see me? You didn't want to talk to me? What was it?"  
His dad struggled. "You know Helena finds it very difficult when you're around."  
Nagisa _exploded_. "_You're still with that WOMAN!?_" he screamed, and that's when Momo stepped in.

"All right, all right, Nagisa, chill out." he said calmly, taking a clenched fist in one of his cool hands and squeezing it gently. "I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason why he never told you about this." he snapped his head towards Nagisa's father, golden iris' resembling those of a werewolf, wild and intimidating. "Right?" he snarled, and he recoiled in seat, knowing that _he _knew that he did not have a good enough explanation for his behaviour.

"Nagisa," his father said softly, but he was lost. He was too angry to even look at him properly. He unfurled his fingers, and linked them between Momo's, squeezing them tight.

"Just... Don't." he whispered hoarsely, wiping underneath his nose. "Go. Leave. Don't come back here."  
He raised from his seat, moving towards him – but a heavy hand rested on his shoulder.

"I think our Blondie asked you to leave." Briar said darkly, Nagisa's father looking puny in comparison to his broad build.

"But, Nagisa, I-"

"Don't say another fucking word." Momo snapped, poking him in the chest. "You've done enough."

He had no choice but to go with the horrendously strong stripper that had him by the shoulders, and once he'd left the room, the tension was lifted, and all his colleagues collected around him, asking him if he felt OK, but Momo waved them off, because he knew, by the way Nagisa was digging his fingernails into the palm of his hand, that he was anything but 'OK'.

* * *

_**Nagisa (new): **__sorry if I wake u but tonite has been awful and I need someone to talk to xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__No, it's all right. I can't sleep at all. Actually, my night hasn't been too spectacular either. You start. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__no you start xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__No, you start. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__I s2g rei im not in the mood _

_**Rei (glasses): **__Sorry. Okay, well, I went to my brothers, he's afraid Rosa is depressed, Liberty told me that my dad hitting me was because he only 'wanted what was best for me', and then landed us a double date. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__isnt rosa like 11? :o xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__Ten. She's eleven next month, but yeah, I know, scary, right? How could someone be depressed at such a young age? xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__it can affect anyone xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__I know. It's still very scary, though. Anyway, what about you? xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__u dont want to no xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__Of course I do. Enlighten me. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__fine my dad came to my work and told me hed bin seeing my baby sister in secret and he didnt see me bc it upset tht woman hes seeing and momo got rlly angry and kicked him out xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__Blimey. You've beaten me by a mile. God, that's awful. I'm so sorry, Nagisa. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__its whatever I mean I did cry wen I saw him but I was so mixed u no? like I didnt no how to feel or anything but im never gonna see him ever again so xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__Dads suck. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__uh yeah no shit I wish I had 2 moms life wud be sooooo much easier xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__My friend has two moms. He says its hard to watch lesbian porn because he would think of his moms doing it instead xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__HAHAHAHA OMG REI _

_**Nagisa (new): **__U HV NO IDEA HOW MUCH IM LAUGHING WTF _

_**Nagisa (new): **__REI NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS LESBIANS THIS IS ALL UR FALT _

_**Rei (glasses): **__You started it. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__I did but I wasnt expcting that! haha omg momos goin to kill me I think I woke him up xxx_

_**Rei (glasses): **__Good luck with that one. I have to get up in a few hours, so I'll speak to you tomorrow. Are you okay now? xxx_

**_Nagisa (new): _**_ofc you cheered me up with that lesbian thing thank you xxx_

**_Rei (glasses): _**_haha, it's no problem. Glad to know you're better now, though. Goodnight, Nagisa. xxx_

_**Nagisa (new): **__I am better! goodnight, rei xxx 3_

* * *

I AM SO SORRY THIS WAS PRETTY WEAK FOR ME

but thank you for reading this reigisa trash nonetheles ilysm mwaaaah xoxoxo


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